Friday's seem to come faster and faster! I'm pleased about that because that means it is day where I get to learn more about you. More about what is going on in your life. What your concerns are. What your joys are. I even like hearing your vents because they usually result in good discussions and a lot of us saying that is how we feel too! You can tell me your secrets today. You can ask me your questions today. You can introduce yourself today. You can post anything you damn will please.
This has been a busy week for me. With some ups and downs. Care giving is a lot like riding an elevator with its ups and downs. Let see this week, there were three nights at Mom's, a movie, a two day Body, Mind, & Spirit Expo, a movie, a doctor's appointment, taking mom to two doctor appointments, fixing some things around the house, cleaning house, doing my tax return, doing my sister's tax return, lawn mower shopping, laundry (it was at the place where I either did laundry or bought new clothes), did my quarterly payroll reports, washed my car, and so on. On next week's plate is getting my lawn in order, two nights at Mom's, go back into work and finish a project and more errands. Tonight I am going to sit down and relax. Get a nice bottle of water. Turn on the TV and watch the Portland Trailblazers take on the Houston Rockets. My kind of peace. Maybe there is a movie on the horizon this weekend. I do know there will be a lot of walking. I'm going to win that diet Pepsi from my doctor!
Confession time. I got it wrong. The movie review of State of Play had a major error in it. The error lead to an anonymous poster lambasting me, questioning my integrity, questioning whether or not I had even seen the movie, and chastising me for not checking out my facts before posting. Then laughing at my mistake. The post cut to the core of my pride. My greatest gift and the thing that I pride the most is my integrity. I try really hard to check out the facts before I post anything. I almost always give references to where I obtain the information for my Blog. I love the posters here and want them to trust what I post. That what I post is the truth. I reacted to the anonymous post in the most unprofessional way. I deleted it. Then I took the mistake out of my review. I should have let the post stand and then defended myself. Acting in such an unprofessional manner had me question whether or not I have the makeup to do a Blog. I will admit I do think if you are going to lambaste somebody it is cowardly to do it anonymously. I might have not reacted so badly if the poster had posted in a manner that I could have responded to him both on the blog and in email.
Here is the mistake. Have you ever went to a movie, was impressed by the performance of an actor and couldn't think of the actor's name? I waited for the credits to come on after State of Play but right during the credits their was a distraction in the theater and I missed the credits. Edward Norton is one of those special actors that not only gets into the role of the character he is playing but also changes his look. He looked completely different in Primal Fear than he did in American History X. He sometimes gains and loses weight for roles. When I got home I checked out two movie sites. Both had Norton still listed in its credits. The actor is State of Play that I couldn't recall his name looked a little like Norton. So I assumed the sites were right to still list Norton in the movie and he was the actor whose name I was trying to recall. He wasn't. Norton backed out of the movie early on and didn't appear in State of Play. I wrote "Norton commanded the screen whenever he was on it." When he never appeared in the movie. Oops.
My idiotic mistake reminded me of an entertainment reporter that I not only adore but completely trust once reviewing a movie that she hadn't seen. She confessed and moved on. Her fans still trust her. I still anxiously await her reviews and trust them.
That is what I hope. I am apologizing to the readers and posters here. Asking for your forgiveness. Moving on and hope that you will still trust that I do check my facts before posting. And I also hope you will trust that even if you disagree with me your post will not be deleted.
Now it is your turn. Do you have anything you need to confess to? What is going on in your life? The Blog is now yours.
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12 comments:
Y'know, Bill, if I had noticed a small error like the mis-naming of an actor, I would probably just pat myself on the back for knowing the difference and move on. If I wanted to show off, I might post a comment like "Oops, you goofed about Norton, it was actually (insert name)". If your anonymous poster got his or her panties in a wad over it, it's more a comment on his/her mental state than on you. Hey, it's only a movie.
OTOH, maybe it was Norton's or the other actor's mom, in which case I might forgive her.
Nothing to confess. I rather dislike myself lately because of being ineffective and terminal procrastination. But that's nothing new or interesting, and I've probably confessed that before.
In other news, mom continues as before. Sometimes the afternoon antidepressant doesn't quite work and she'll bombard me with questions about who paid for her dinner and not remember the answers. But another wrinkle has appeared in the insurance. Apparently the doctor only does housecalls for those on Medicare *and* MediCal. We went to all the trouble of switching insurance just to get him because he made housecalls to the facility, and now they say, "We didn't know she had an HMO". So in order to get a housecall you have to be impoverished? The taxpayers will cover housecalls but HMOs won't? At the end of the conversation, they said he'd still do it as long as he was also seeing Irene at the same place. So now I have a vested interest in keeping 104 y/o Irene with us. Not that I didn't already. Irene is a character, and I like her very much, but still... I need to talk to the doc himself about this and not his office minions, but it can wait until he makes another visit.
I'm still putting off the dental work because the kids are coming for this weekend. Then they'll go on a little trip and will return next weekend, so I may put it off yet another week. Or not, maybe I'll just get it done in between. In the meanwhile, last night I discovered a leak in the wall inside the bathroom cabinet under the sink. It has obviously been there for a while, because it soaked some cardboard boxes of first aid stuff I had in there. I've got it cleaned up and am drying it out with a space heater, but I foresee a rather large and destructive plumbing visit in my future. I am not a happy camper today.
I'm about to rejoin y'all on the elevator and roller coaster. My goodness, when did you find time to sleep the past week, Bill?
As to your confession... I agree with Pat. The poster has the problem and not you. You've always been upfront and straight with all of us and anytime you've found an error or a question, you've raised it/admitted to it. Blogs such as yours are not the place for inflammatory posts, but for support and information and sharing. Quite frankly, I'm glad you deleted the post, because I suspect the rest of us would not have been kind in our response. I have little use for "anonymous" postings. If you have something to say, admit who you are. I had a very negative experience (and repurcussions) from "anonymous" phone calls when I was with State of AK. You've created a comfortable "home" here, one in which accusations and name calling and the like have no place. Add to that the fact it was an honest mistake and you corrected it and my vote goes to you. Besides, we've had some issues where we didn't all agree on solutions or whatever, but we held discussions about it. Goodness, it sounds like this guy is similar to the flamers who used to divebomb S16 on occasion (remember how we plied them with tea and cinimmon rolls?) I think you did just what was right and your only "confession" is that you made a mistake in an actor's name. And how important is that going to be in five years or six months? I certainly don't see it as an issue of your integrity! I don' see anything to forgive you for.
Pat, you may consider yourself ineffective and in terminal procrastination, but please don't dislike yourself! You spend time daily with your mom, you're involved in civic work, you have book clubs... you know, it's taken me a long time, but sometimes you just have to let the world go hang for a bit. That said, I do understand the impatience with your own procrastination, since it's an issue in which I often indulge.
I'm so sorry to hear about the wrinkles in the insurance coverage. Have to admit, I share your confusion on the bit about "housecalls." And I'm sorry the antidepressants aren't always working.Major bummer on the plumbing issue. Do be sure to check with your insurance company. We had a similar issue in FL and insurance covered all the work to take out tiles, locate the leak, repair any damage AND our premiums didn't even increase.
For me... we're already off and running on Mom's return. I found out Sunday night Deb was driving her back, arriving today (which has turned into tonight or maybe tomorrow morning). Mom wanted to see a dermo asap, as the rash is driving her crazy. Start calling daily on Monday, managed to move from an original app't of the 27th of May to next Tuesday. Deb advises on Wednesday AM Mom needs an allergist asap. Dermo recommended one and he had a cancellation for next week. So, we see the retina spec on Monday, dermo on Tuesday, allergist on Thrusday, each of which I'm told will be a couple hours. Meantime, put the apt back together (after extermination clean out), vacuum, do Mom's laundry, scrub floors and bathrooms, make up spare room bed, deal with more paperwork. Need to call Comm on Blind and get them out there... maybe Friday? And get Al ready to leave on Monday for his fishing trip to TX. That pretty well takes care of next week. And the following week is more doctors and get ready for Mom's reception and Lake's arrival and the possible arrival of Mom's sister and her son and d-i-l (and, yes, I'm checking hotels, 'cause I'm thinking I really don't need to try to house and feed everyone here, whiole I'm putting together the reception and Mother's Day!)
Looks like we're moving back to "normal" with a vengeance (wry s).
As to confessions... I've done plenty of stupid things in my life and done some things I regret, but I guess my only confession at the moment is my impatience and inability to stop judging the actions/non-actions of others, largely family, I'm afraid.
Sorry but I have to disagree with all the rest of you. I write a business blog daily and have been doing so for a year. Recently I was accused publicly of something I didn't do and another local blogger picked it up and further blasted me publicly. I wrote a post saying what the original blogger had said wasn't true and why and thanked him whereby the second blogger then congratulated me publicly for acknowledging what had happened.
In this day and age of blogging, everything you say on line will be there forever. It is polite and courteous of a blogger to correct what was said and then as Bill indicated - move on rather than delete the comment(s). Besides most of the post Bill wrote about was on journalism and being transparent/honest - which is what Bill I believe has attempted to do. However, acknowledging what happened publicly was, in my professional opinion, the best course to take. Congrats Bill for doing so. In journalism, all sides should and need to be presented - whether you are offended or not which is what I try to do on my blog. Thankfully, only one person has made such a remark on my blog. I know Bill's post was just about a movie - but the movie and his post was all about journalism and transparency.
Hi Dr
Welcome back to the elevator.
As to my confession I try real hard to be accurate and if I screw up or if a source proves to be wrong try to correct it. As a wanna be writer I can only gain respect and acceptance by setting high standards for myself. That is why I think I reacted in an uprofessional manner. Sure the poster attacked instead of asking where I got the information. But if I acted professionaly I would have let the comment stand and responded as to what I did to come to the conclusion that I did. I also don't mind anonymous postings ninety-nine percent of the time. There are many reasons some might not want to be known. However, I draw the line at being anonymous when it comes to attacking any reader, poster here, or me.
Sounds like you are going to be really harried the next few weeks. Wish I was there to lend a hand and take some pressure off of you.
Wow they are going to be there tonight? Amazing. You did an amazing job getting all of the appointments you mom needed and in record time too! Please let us know the outcome of your Mom's appointments.
The amount of people coming in and our of S.C. in the next couple of weeks sounds like it is going to set a record.
Impatience and judging are two things I fight on a daily basis so I understand your concerns!
Take a deep breath and I am goin to pray that you get some time to yourself the next couple of weeks!
Bill
Hi Pat
I think you are really to hard on yourself. And I think everyone that I know that knows you think you are extremely likeable and if we all like you, you should like yourself!
And when you are dealing with insurace companies in the manner you are and they jerk you around, that is extremely exhausting and in my opinion as damn good excuse for procrastination.
I can't believe that there is a difference between Medicaid and Hmos, that just stinks.
I would probably wait with the dental work since the company is coming back. You don't to take any chances with a reaction or have any pain while your daughter is there so you can enjoy the visit.
on you. Hey, it's only a movie.
I can't believe on top of everything else that you are dealing with a leak! You just have to much on your plate, no wonder you procrastinate.
To me it was more than a movie, it was my integrity being questioned. The manner it was done was also bothersome. If it had been in the manner of "did you know you goofed" instead of "you need to check your facts" I wouldn't have been so upset. I did do some checking before posting, just checked the wrong sites.
Bill
Hi Red
Thanks for understanding why I thought the incident was important enough to address it in the manner I did. According to my site meter only two people saw the post before I deleted and I could have justn ignored and not many would be the wiser.
However, I thought I owed to those two people and to everyone here to tell the truth about what happened.
And you are right the post and the movie were about journalism which makes the mistake even more dramatic.
Bill
Oh, okay, Bill, I'll try to like myself more. {g}
The good news is that my plumber dropped by at my request just to tell me what I was in for. Turns out it's a very minor thing that can be remedied by a new faucet, which I had planned on getting anyway. So I shall get that done next week, and I'm very grateful to John the Plumber for setting my mind at rest.
Meanwhile, kids are here and we went out for a scrumptious Indian dinner, so the world looks a little better even if my jeans are now too tight.
Hi Pat
John the plumber is no doubt better than Joe The Plumber. I am glad that there wasn't anything serious and aslo am glad things are looking up and that you like yourself!
Bill
Bill, if the post was in the form of attack, I can see where it would be hard to decide whether or not to delete it. However, by stating you'd received a post which pointed out an error, explaining and then correcting the error, you did take a professional approach.
Pat, I agree with Bill on waiting until after the kids visits are over, before having the dental work. And I'm delighted to hear your plumbing problem is minor!
Yes, the next couple weeks are going to be busy ones, but I'm going to do my best not be harried. (hopeful s) To be honest, my schedule isn't any worse -- and really not as bad as -- yours is most of the time. The rash Deb was so concerned about is largely fading (at least at the moment), although itching is still an issue. Mom's not excited about seeing the allergist, afraid he's going to cut her off all her favorite foods. There's a problem with the cable, which Himself and Deb could neither one fix, so we have to get a tech in.Deb scheduled one for Monday -- won't work, we won't be there.
Deb and I talked, when she came up here alone this afternoon. Not sure I have any more answers, maybe more questions. I continue to remind myself I'm leaving it to them. I don't think Mom looks good and her mobility and pressure in her head are still major issues. Nothing's really changed, so we're kinda right where we were before she left for AZ.
Hi Dr
I can't help but wonder if Deb is hesitating because she found out how time consuming/hard taking care of an elderly parent is and deep inside of her she isn't sure she can handle it.
I'm glad the rash is getting better but still tink looking into it is the best approach. Sorry about the ccable problem and the erroneous scheduling.
A long drive is hard on anyone let alone an almost 90 year-old woman, your mom is just probably exhausted from the trip which has her looking not her best?
Bill
I'm honestly not sure of what Deb's thinking, but she continues to say she wants Mom to live with her and insists it was no big deal to take her to the doctor three or four times while she was in AZ for almost three months. I teasingly called her a wimp, since we have that many app'ts in the next ten days. (g)
Yes, a long drive is hard on anyone and I'm sure Mom's exhausted, altho she insisted we all go out to eat tonight, rather than her and Deb go grocery shopping, although I offered to cook dinner, so she could relax. I'm hoping she'll spend all of tomorrow relaxing, as Deb leaves early in the AM and Mom plans to go back to bed and call me when she wakes for lunch or whatever. Time will tell. Yes, getting the rash and itching dealt with is a priority and I think the allergy tests are, as well, after talking more with Deb today.
Time will tell. I'm playing it by ear, hoping for the best. I suspect tomorrow will be grocery shopping, most likely from a list Mom gives me, rather than together, but I could be wrong. Please hold good thoughts for the next week?
Hi DR
Of Course you have all my good thoughts and prayers for next week!
Hope you all enjoyed dinner out.
Bill
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