I really haven't much to update you on so most of my update is going to be a preview of the coming week. The two things I do have to update you on are the caregiving situation with my mom and the job. The caregiver that has been working two days has agreed to work five days. She is the one that we like really well, that mom gets along with very well, and has been with us for over a year. The other two days will be filled by my nephew. He has a job near mom's house and doesn't want to move from Eugene to here so stays at mom's house on the four days a week that he works. I may have to fill in once in a while but I am fine with that. My main focus from now until April 1st is to make as much money as I can between now and then. I need to recover the money I lost in the stock market. I want to be financially set the rest of the year. That will allow me to do the things that I would like to do. Like maybe go to another city and take a standup class that Portland doesn't offer. Right now I am seriously considering taking the long form improv class to fill in the gap and as an outlet during tax season. Which brings me to the job that I started Wednesday. I have already finished all but two projects that they had scheduled for me. I work faster than they anticipated. So I may work myself out of a job! During tax season I will really have four jobs. This job. Doing tax returns for a small number of corporate clients and relatives. Working Sundays for the firm that bought my business. The final thing is some minimum work for Glowtrition, phone calls with my sister, etc. I will go from being bored to being stressed!
The week ahead is both exciting and boring. Sunday morning is brunch with Ted and the guys. Sunday night is the finals of The Amazing Race. Guess what city they end their race in? Good old Portland, Oregon. They didn't say where in Portland they were ending the race but from the picture in this morning's paper I am guessing they are ending the race on the grounds of the Pittock Mansion. Monday is the job. Tuesday and Wednesday is a tax seminar (BORING!), Thursday and Friday are the job. Saturday is Christmas Shopping and grocery shopping with and for mom.
Now I am turning the blog over to the readers and posters. Tell me anything you want about what is going on in your life. Tell me everything, inquiring minds want to know. Need support? Some wonderful posters here will offer you that. Need some ideas? The posters here will give you some. New to the blog and want to introduce yourself? We accept and welcome everyone here! If you just want to ask me someting I promise to answer any non x-rated questions, heck if I am in the right mood I might even answer some x-rated questions!
Your turn. I really want to know how and what all my friends here are doing!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Mum's new domestic helper stayed a grand total of 10 days and then decided to quit. I can't say I'm surprised although I haven't really heard the full story yet so I'm not sure if it was mutual, that she wasn't to Mum's satisfaction. Mum left a message on my voicemail yesterday saying that the maid wanted to quit. I spent most of the morning trying to call her back but the phone was engaged -- guess she had left the receiver off, and so my husband called the maid agency to find out what was happening and coincidentally, Mum happened to be there with the maid who'd quit, so the agent put her on the phone. She wasn't at liberty to really speak her mind though, and I'm sure I'll get the full unedited version later. Sigh.
I usually get the Christmas tree and decorations up by the first week of December (the malls are decorated here by early November but that's too early for me). But this year, we're not supposed to celebrate anything until 49 days after my father-in-law's death. My mother-in-law said it's not technically a mourning period. The 49 days is the time it takes for my father-in-law's last journey, according to Buddhist belief. That would be next Sunday and there's some Buddhist prayer rite the family has to do, so we can't have any decorations up till that is over. By then, I may dispense with the tree altogether this year, since it'll only be 10 days till Christmas.
Good luck on starting your job.
Hi Snug
Sorry the domestic helper didn't last. It is really hell trying to find a caregiver/helper that matches the personality of the parent. Not to mention how hard it is to please the parent. My mom complains about all of them. It just comes with the territory.
I'd like to hear the undedited version when you get it.
The 49 days is interesting, I've never heard that before but then I don't know much about Buddhism.
Thanks for the good luck on the job.
And hugs for all you are and have been dealing with for far to long!
Bill
Well, first, pooh on Blogger! I typed a long comment, and was told "the action has already been performed" and I should go back a page. Of course when I did, the whole comment had been deleted. So I'll try to reproduce it, but my momentum has been severely compromised.
First, good news on your caretaker situation. This sounds like a very good solution, at least for the time being. I hope it lasts a long time. And your job situation sounds do-able and with any luck, less stressful than previous tax seasons (she says hopefully).
My own situation hasn't changed. Mom is for the most part fairly calm, though she announced a few days ago that she had been in charge of the office all day and it was too much responsibility. I try to go along as much as I can, so I just reminded her she was retired and didn't have to work if she didn't want to. Yesterday, she seemed convinced that the placemats on the table needed repair (they don't) and it was her job to do it. She announced that when you have sewing to do, it's best to start early in the morning. "Not for me!" I protested, and she found that amusing.
In addition to the parties I've mentioned, there's a book club "tea" where we're supposed to bring a teacup, teabag, goodies, and a joke. I don't have a joke, but Gloria tells me she has several, so I'll cadge one of hers. Then for the two-party day, I seem to have been elected to drive far out of my way to pick up a former member for the dinner. I like her and want her to come, but sure didn't want to make that drive under some time pressure. (Why me? she asks in a pathetic bid for sympathy.)
Oh, well, all the required festivities should be over after this week, except for one lunch that may or may not happen, and until daughter and SIL come to visit, but I always love seeing them, so look forward to that.
I shall now make a copy of these deathless words, so that if Blogger tries to defeat me again, I'll have outfoxed it. Humph!
Bill, good job on getting the caregiver issue pretty well settled. I think it's lovely your nephew will be helping out. He must be quite a neat guy and how nice your mom will have more family around fairly consistently. You're really going to have a full plate for the next five months with work situations! Glad to hear you're looking at improv class for your mental health.
Snug, sorry to hear the domestic helper didn't work out and, like the others, curious to hear the whole story, when you get it. I have a strong suspicion we're going to be looking at domestic help of one type or another in the near future, so I'll take all the experienced info I can get!
I hear you on wondering about putting up decorations. Have had years like that. Do you, by any chance, have a small tree you can put up and just add those things that make Christmas really special for you? And, hey, you can always follow the old practice of leaving it all up until ten days after Christmas. Hugs!
Pat, glad to hear you're enjoying some festivities. Sounds like Mom is having a fine time with her administrative duties, although I know that has to be hard for you. Glad you have the visit from Akkana (right?) and your s-i-l to look forward to.
My week - pretty standard. Did get pool workouts and an afternoon of line dancing. Two doctor app'ts. Daily visits to Mom, picking away at what she needs help with, from doing dishes to hanging Christmas banners and moving more boxes. Her bed is changed and laundry done. I even got in some editorial hours. Bro has offered to pay for a monthly cleaning service, if I can find one Mom likes and it isn't too costly. Mom's admitted to doubts about youngest sister ever moving here.
Next week we see the elder care att'y and explore some options, hopefully.
I have to admit that what I'd love to do is go in and get Mom to agree to sort through and discard and declutter, particularly as clear spaces are going to become more important if her vision continues to fail. I have some great solutions, but dealing with a child of the depression, who believes her grandchildren are going to want everything she has tucked away, is a challenge. Plus, I doubt the sibs would buy off on my ideas. Sigh. It's so easy to see the resolution of other people's issues, much easier than resolving your own (wry s).
Hoping to start "putting up Christmas" here.
Hi Pat
I actually type everything in my word processor before transferring it to the blog.
Last tax season was pretty stress free this one I am taking on more than I did last year but with goals in mind.
Pat every time you talk about your mom by heart just goes out to you because it reminds me so much of dealing with Dad. It just isn't easy not knowing who or what you are going to get. I actually think you have it harder then the rest of us.
The tea party sounds fun! Wow are you going to be on busy lady this holiday season!
I have no doubbt that you will enjoy your daughters visit!
Bill
Hi Dr
Yes my nephew is a nice young man if a tad bullheaded like the rest of his relatives. I'm a second father for him since him and his dad have been on the outs for a long time.
Glad you got some pool work in and especially the line dancing since that seems to be your mental health stabilizer.
With work this week I didn't spend much time with Mom so you get the most time with the mom award this week. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday it was either lunch or errands like picking up prescriptions. Weds, Thurs, Fri nothing since I was at work. Today lunch and shopping.
Good for you brother for offering to pay for a montly cleaning service that shows that he gets it on some level!
Let me know how the meeting with the elder care attorney goes!
What I did with my mom to get her to go through things is tell her we need to lable the stuff on who she wants it to go to. Then we gave it to who she designated and if they didn't want they discarded it. Worked pretty well.
Bill
I like the labeling idea and have heard others say it works well. Thing is, getting her to let go of things NOW and getting others to take it away, regardless of what they do with it, doesn't appeal to her. Again I think it's a combination of depression childhood and some sort of security. Her idea is to keep it all with her and when she dies, if more than one of us wants an item, we put numbers 1-4 in a hat and number 1 wins. Doesn't that just sound like a lot of fun? Thank goodness, the only two things I have an interest in are the china cabinet and Daddy's desk and if I lose the lottery, it's not the end of the world to me. I've already watched a lot of Daddy's stuff go to either my youngest sister or the middle sister to hold for the grandchildren. She did, at least, send the dog's head chair home with Lake in September.
Hi, again, Bill. I know that my experience with my mom reminds you of dealing with your dad's dementia. I don't think I have it harder than anyone else here, though. It's just different. No picnic, but that could be said for all of us. My experience is made easier by the staff at LC, who are genuinely fond of the residents and approach them with great good humor. They'll listen carefully to my mom when she's making no sense at all and agree with a smile, which mostly seems to satisfy her until her next pronouncement. I pretty much do the same, but I only do it a couple of hours a day. I couldn't possibly handle it 24/7, and my heart goes out to anyone who tries to do that.
Good idea there about doing things in a word processor before uploading. Especially when I get verbose.
DR, I'll be very interested in what the att'y says. With all my earlier research on assisted living places for people who could be more or less on their own, I know little about the options for those who can't. I just lucked into the right place for my mom, and if she had to leave there, I'd be completely at a loss, I'm afraid.
Hi Dr
Sorry it has taken so long to respond it has been a crappy Saturday night and even a crappier Sunday. First last night my computer crashed. This moring Office Max had a sale on computers to I went to the closest store which of course was out of the advertised model but they did have on in their entire system and that was at a store in downtown Portland. On the way between stores to pick up the computer I had a flat tire. Took forty minutes for AAA to get there. I am actually typing this at the library. I wanted to get my work down so I could set up the new computer and try to fix the old one without worrying about what needs to be done.
I actually understand why it is so hard for your mom to let go of things. They are losing so much naturally in the aging process that anything they lose plays very hard on their mind. The lottery system is sure to cause disgreements!
Boll
Hi Pat
The staff at LC seems like a staff to treasure.
You really don't get verbose that often. When you do it is always when you have something important to say.
Bill
Hi Bill, I am glad you got lucky with the current caregiver and sounds like a good deal with your nephew for both him and your mom. It does sound like with the new job, usual jobs and the necessary with your mom you will be busy for a while. But it sounds to me like you like to stay busy. Not a bad thing. I hope you meet your goals with the new job and can find more classes you can join.
Snug, I don't know much about Buddhism either but hope you work it all out for you. I hear you on just not dealing with the tree at all. I hope all didn't get too rough for your mom with the helper. And I too can't wait to hear the whole story. I also feel for you as I know this means you have to start again. Good luck.
Pat, I know what you mean about Blogger having a mind of its own...I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me...so frustrating. I like to hear that some people can find a good place for their loved ones like you did. I just hope I don't have to worry about finding such a place. I think I would be at a loss.
Ladydr, Sounds like things are going better with your mom and you are getting time for yourself too. I hear you on the decluttering issue. I had to go through that with my Aunt and then my mom. I think the labeling idea does sound good, if that is what they (the ones doing the giving) want. The first time my mom was given months to pass in 93 my sister and her children just came in and said what they wanted. My mom just let them take most things but the things she didn't they supposedly put their names on. Funny as when she did pass and several months later when my dad decided to auction things off, my sister announced certain items that were "hers" as her name was on them. We never found the names. And dad said he knew nothing of the sort. So I think its a good idea but one that needs everyone to agree upon.
My week started with finding out my dad once again took his car to get body repair without my knowledge and of course then I was responsible to help him when it came time to retrieve it. I also had the privilege of going clothes shopping with him. It had been a while since I had done that and lets just say I started having visions of me and dad in a small room being questioned by security when my dad decided to go into the men's restroom to try on clothes. I tried to thwart it with calling to him but He can't hear a thing and I reluctantly ended up in the men's restroom. The week also involved countless phone calls to yet again unsubscribe him for the daily paper. Another round of him forgetting to let me know about refills and then him forgetting to let me know he never got the pills I did get ordered. Not too bad a week but enough to get me mentally exhausted
I hope all of you here have a great week ahead.
Hi Dona
As always it is nice to see you post.
I am a pretty goal oriented person and most of the time meet my goals so unless something drastic happens like losing mom I think it will be a good three or four months!
Dona your dad just seems really inconsiderate to me, I don't know if that is his nature or if it has to with other things like health but regardless that has to be awful dealing with.
So how were things in the mens' rest room? I ended up in a women's rest room today. While waiting for AAA I went to a gas station and the men's was out of order so I used the womens!
I do hope you get a week when you don't end up so exhausted, you really deserve a break and I hope someone, a friend or relative steps in and gives you a reprieve. Heck if I lived near you I'd take you dad for a week so you could get a break.
Bill
Post a Comment