Friday, May 14, 2010

Blame The Parents

A couple of months ago the school district in the City of Newberg, Oregon decided to fine parents if their children kept skipping school. Newberg is my neighboring city. Now I learn that the California legistlature is endorsing the arresting of parents at constantly truant students.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2010-05-13-truancy-parents_N.htm

What do you think of this trend? Frankly, I am kind of disturbed by it. I hate the idea of blaming everything on the parents. I skipped school once. I was so tired of hearing what a good kid I was (I got wild in college during my self-discovery period) so one day I did something that nobody would have ever thought I would do. Skipped school and forged the excuse note. I didn't really do that great of job on the forgery and the school called Mom. She was so stunned that it was me and not my brother that she told the school she had written the note. There was just no way I would do such a thing so Mom thought she wrote the note and forgot. However, had I been caught it should have been my allowance docked not my parents. And had anyone gone to jail over it, it should have been me. It frustrates me when I sometimes hear men and women in their fifties and sixties blaming their parents for their failures. Sure maybe they were some of the reason for the failoures but eventually you have to get over it. You also have to look in the mirror and accept some of the responsibility for your own failures. I am speaking from experience because I've failed a lot.

Do you think parents should be fined if their children continually skip school?

Today's Who Am 1?

Yesterday's was Harriett Tubman. Can you guess today's, email answers to williamjdah@aol.com.

I have a famous name but my husband is more well-known than I am. I am known for planting cherry trees but neither my husband or I cut one down. I was born in Ohio in 1861 and died in Washington D.C. in 1943. I was the fourth child of 11 children. My dad was the law partner of a Hayes. After I visited the White House for my Mom's christening I became enamored of the White House and my dream became to live there. In school I met the sister of my future husband. I loved music and studied it enthusiastically. I attended Miami University, studying German, literature, history and the sciences. I considered becoming a lawyer, but did not pursue it; although it did teach me an appreciation of logic, politics and presenting a strong argument. After school I started a Sunday afternoon literary salon and briefly taught at two schools. At a sledding party I met a young attorney, and invited him to the literary salon. It was a long and rocky courtship. He was ardent and proposed a few times but I turned him because I didn't think he valued my opinion. He eventually convinced me that I was smarter and prettier than any other woman he knew. We married in 1886. I designed our first home. We had three children. My husband became a judge and was appointed U.S. Solicitor General in the late 1800s. We moved to D.C. where we met Teddy and his wife. My husband at one point was appointed to a position that required us to live in the Philippines. I toured China and Japan with my children, then joined hubby in Manila. We lived there four years. I fell in love with the culture. I opened our palace to everyone and insisted my family learn Spanish. Teddy appointed my husband secretary of war so we had to return to the U.S. Capital. My husband was eventually elected president and my dream of living in the White House came true. I broke with inaugural tradition by accompanying my husband in the inaugural parade down Pennsylvania Avenue. Every First Lady since then has followed my example. I took on too many projects at the same time suffering a major stroke while on the presidential yacht, paralyzing my left side and leaving me unable to speak. The media was given little information about it and, for the next year, I was seen only occasionally. My daughter and sisters took over my duties. With my husband's patient help and my determined effort I regained my speech and ability to walk, both with difficulty. I was back in control when we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary at the White House. Despite my physical hardships, I was able to accomplish several things, one of which was enhancing the White House, Tidal Basin and Potomac Park with cherry trees. I was concerned that people had no place to listen to music or walk when the weather was good. Upon finding out that I was going to have Japanese cherry trees planted along the “speedway” (now Independence Avenue), a Japanese chemist and Japanese consul facilitated the donation of an additional 3,020 Japanese cherry trees from the mayor of Tokyo. After three years of planning and setbacks a wife of a Japanese Ambassador and I planted the first two cherry trees. After the ceremony I presented a bouquet of "American Beauty" roses to ambassador's wife. The two original trees still stand. Another accomplishment was making it easier for African-Americans to find employment at the White House. I was very versed in politics, often sitting in on important political discussions and accompanying my husband on political trips and golf outings. I was the first, First Lady to attend the nominating convention. I was also the first, First Lady to publish her autobiography. My husband was eventually appointed to his dream job, which was not president. I died in 1943 and was buried in Arlington Cemetery next to my husband – the first and only First Lady to be so, until Jackie Kennedy Onassis was buried beside John F. Kennedy. Who Am I?

4 comments:

Pat said...

I can't say I like the idea of fining or worse, jailing the parents of kids who skip school. I never had to deal with this, either as a kid or as a parent, but I can imagine parents who try their best and just have an incorrigible kid. If there's a less draconian way of encouraging parents to participate in their kids' schooling, I might be for it, and I wouldn't even mind a little punishment aspect if the parents were clearly just not interested and weren't trying.

Lady DR said...

Okay, why is this picture out of focus for me? You've got a kid skipping school. No mention of how often. You put the parent in jail. Now, there's not only anyone to see if the kid gets to school, there's no one to supervise, feed, house the kid (since I'm suspecting a lot of these are single parent households). You fine the parent, who's probably having trouble buying groceries. Why doesn't this make any sense to me?

Why aren't we looking for reasons the kids are skipping school? Why aren't we looking at why the parents don't know or aren't dealing with it? Are the kids bored? Are they so far behind they feel they can't catch up, let alone keep up? Are they in situations where they're working or selling drugs or whatever to help support the family?

I don't ever recall skipping school (little goody two-shoes), but the more I read, see, hear from current and former teachers, the more I wonder if it's the parents who should be "punished" or the school systems or the kids.

Punishing the parents, unless there's solid evidence they're the problem, seems like punishing the whole family, particularly if there are other kids to be considered. From what I've read/seen, there are better options and most of the parents probably can't pay the fine and will do time. Which accomplishes what?

My gut reaction is we need to find out why the kids are skipping school and then look for solutions. My bet is the stats on truancy come from inner-city or neighborhood schools. I'm betting we're talking middle, mostly high, schools, where the kids are so far behind on literacy and education skills, they see no way to catch up. I'd further bet we're talking low income, one parent households, where the parent is doing the best he/she can. We're talking "high risk" kids, to use the schools' terms. I don't think fining/jailing the parent is going to solve the problem.

William J. said...

Hi Pat

If parents are making an effort to raise their children and just let them skips school as many times as they want then the parents should be punished, however, in most of those cases the parents are already going to jail because of drugs or other illegal activities.

Bill

William J. said...

Hi DR

It really is out of focus, in my mind it would be more in focus if they were requiring parenting classes instead of jail or fines.

You idea of sitting down with the kid, with the parent present, and finding out why they are skipping school is a great idea!!

I am betting you or right on with the stats being a lot of inner city kids.

Bill