The answer to yesterday's Who Am I was Elizabeth Coleman White. Today is the first update day we have had in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to catching up with you and finding out what is going on in your lives. Not much went on in my life last week. One dinner out with the family, one lunch out with Mom, one movie (THE SWITCH which was pleasant enough). Yesterday I finished two work projects and watched some football games. Today it is dinner at sister's to celebrate the holiday weekend.
Next week is going to be one busy week. Monday I'm going to the caterers to finalize the menu for the football party. Tuesday is the football party. Wednesday morning sister and her husband take off for Texas to see my nephew who is in the process from retiring from the Air Force. That means a lot of time at Mom's in the next seven days. Thursday is the company picnic. The other days of the week is helping Mom accomplish some things that she wants to accomplish. In summary basically get her things in order.
Now the entertainment update. From the Internet I was surprised to learn that Tiffany was eliminated from Top Chef. I was sure she would be in the final four. The final four are Angelo, Kevin, Kelly, and Ed. My pick is Angelo. I really want Kelly to win but I just think she isn't the best chef right now.
Last week they announced this season's Dancing With The Stars cast and the professional pairings. This is the lineup:
Michael Bolton, singer and Chelsie Hightower
Margaret Cho, comedianne and Louis Van Amstel
Rick Fox, retired basketball player and Cheryl Burke
Jennifer Grey, actress and Derek Hough
David Hasselhoff, actor and Kym Johnson
Florence Henderson, actress and Corky Ballas
Kyle Massey, actor and Lacey Schwimmer
Brandy Norwood, singer and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter and Mark Ballas
Audrina Patridge, realty star and Tony Dovolani
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, realty star and Karina Smirnoff
Kurt Warner, retired football player and Anna Trebunskaya
I'm going to be rooting for the handsome and gentlemen's gentleman Kurt Warner and the beautiful Anna. I'm elated to see Kym Johnson returning but just don't like her partner. I do think Jennifer Grey and Derek will probably win it.
Just for some fun gossip. I read from more then one source that the following stars have turned down DWTS:
Sylvester Stallone, Condoleezza Rice, Tim Allen, Ann Coulter, Suzanne Somers
Kirstie Alley, Joel McHale, Drew Carey, Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, the real-life Erin Brockovich and British billionaire Richard Branson. I will tell you that if the hate monger Ann Coulter ever got on the show I'd quit watching it.
Just a note, you all know how much I like Friday Night Lights. The ABC Family Channel is replaying season one starting tomorrow in some markets and Tuesday in all markets. Check your local listings for time. My guess is you will like it.
OK, everyone catch me up. I want to know what you all have been up to. How your health is. What you have on your agenda. How your friends and relatives are. Did you do anything creative like make a beautiful quilt? If you did I would love to see pictures of it. The blog is now yours. Write anything you damn well please!
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18 comments:
Bill, First off I think all your weeks are busy ones. Can't wait to hear about the company picnic, along with everything else!
DWTS lineup isn't really all that bad this season, I may tune in. I agree with you on Jennifer Grey, doesn't she have a background in this kind of dance?
This past week was a hard one for me. It just didn't start out that great, got into a tiff with dad and tried to handle it the best I knew how. Living here just isn't working anymore, but don't have a choice. I try to chalk it up to this is his home/he is set in his ways/he is older and can change his mind when he pleases/he is older and senile (spelling?) or he is just plain stubborn. But it still doesn't make it easier.
Health wise I am holding my own. Still working on the Zumba classes although my instructor missed the last 2 weeks so I am behind. But hope to catch up this week. I kept myself busy in the lake each morning I could swimming and just getting in as much exercise as I could.
I did finish a quilt in the last couple of weeks. Hmm.. how did you know? I don't know how beautiful it is, but will be happy to send you a pic if you like.
Hi Dona
I do read the blogs of the people that post here and did see the picture of the quilt and thought it was beautiful and I am betting DR and others would love to see it!
I do think Grey has had some training, she wouldn have to for the Dirty Dancing movie.
Now the two most important things your health and your dad. I am going to pray and send a vibe for a solution to the living arrangements. I actually think your living arrangements and your health are very much related. He really needs to be made aware of how what he does effects you. He may just not be aware of it.
Keemp those Zumba classes going I think they are a life saving because during those classes you don't think of anything but the classes. Your Zumba classes are my movies.
Bill
Thanks Bill.
I am pretty sure Jennifer Grey's father was a dancer also. That is why I was thinking she surely had some background as a good dancer, but you never know.
The deal with my dad is that lately everything we do is wrong. Like where we park all of a sudden he wants us to park somewhere else just so he can come in the drive a different way. Now we have parked in the same place since being here and he let us know he would NEVER drive in the drive another way. There are 3 cars here and 4 places to park. So he is changing his mind on that. Its silly. We can't park where we want and we can't do anything we want. But he tells us over and over we can do anything here as he doesn't care. But once we do it we have to answer to him, as he will question it, critic it and lots of times he will laugh or poke fun. I try to over look it, but its harder on the Shankster as he sees it in different eyes and he thinks my dad is not respecting me at all.
We have always grown our own veggies and upon coming here with almost 3 acres, all of a sudden we cannot plant a garden. ? We went down to one tomato plant this year and even was using a hanging one at that to not harm any of his land. (don't ask) We didn't even put the pole in the ground so not to hear what we heard last year. But he still found fault in that and after tending to it for months now, its gone. He felt it was pulling down his back porch/deck. Now this deck has been up for at least 30 years and it was a used one when he put it up. He has never maintained it. Its falling apart in ways you can't imagine. I have nightmares in the winter as you can hear it popping and cracking as the ground freezes that it will give way when I walk out on it.
The Shepard's pole was tied to a 4 by 4 near the house that was not attached to any part of the deck. But he was sure it was tearing it down. Trust me it was not. So we took it down. And then he got mad. ? Guess I will buy my tomatoes this year after all.
I know this sounds trivial, but it is just 2 things out of 20 that we deal with daily. (Don't even get me started on the bathroom.) And they can get to you after time. The thing with my dad is he feels he is right about everything and you cannot tell him any different. So I being or trying to be a good daughter try not to make a big deal out of things and just try to leave his home as he wants it out of respect. But it is very hard when you have a significant other with you. Once again I am in the middle.
But thanks Bill for sending good vibes I really need them.
deleted last comment as it said my first one was too large and then it went ahead and posted it twice! sorry.
You had a busy week last week, Bill and sounds like an even busier one coming up, especially with Sis being gone.
Dona, I'm so sorry to hear the way things are with your dad. I agree with Bill that your health and living situation may be very closely related, as stress - especially chronic and cumulative - will affect your health and usually attack the weakest part of your body. How I wish you and the Shankster could find another arrangement, which would give you some privacy and a bit of space to call your own. It sounds as if your dad is getting more and more demanding and less reasonable and that's not good. Quite frankly, it's the "trivial" things that add up to the most stress, because you keep thinking they shouldn't bother you, when they're driving you to the edge. Been there and done that. Am sending lots of prayers and positive vibes that something will change soon, whatever it may be that will resolve all the negative issues bearing down on you.
What are the Zumba classes? And congrats on finishing the quilt. Please send Bill a pix to post!
Sending my update in a separate msg, so I don't get the "too long" msg, which sometimes posts and sometimes doesn't.
Two weeks, huh? Bill, this may not work -- sometimes I can't remember yesterday .
Last week was the line dance show and video and I reported on that, because I couldn't wait. The past two weeks have been editorial and new PT exercises, some at home, some in the pool. Saw a massage therapist for a deep muscle massage a week ago - those hurt! Seeing her again Friday. See the ortho Tuesday, to ask some questions and see how he thinks I'm doing.
This weekend was the Shelby Hamfest, an annual event we always attend. We went up a day early and it was as well, as it was Fiasco Day. Half an hour down the road, the a/c in the RV cab decided to quit. Fortunately, fired up the generator and the cabin a/c for some relief. Lovely campsite, near the lake. Hooked up water and bathroom faucets wouldn't shut off. Long story short, Himself fought with it for some time, went up to see if Jim (ham friend) had wire and Jim, being the blessed angel he is, took Himself to town, where he purchased a new faucet assembly and installed it. Yea! Water for washing and flushing toilet! Later, the can opener didn't work right, we finally sorta got the can open and as I CAREFULLY tried to peel the lid off, something slipped and I sliced a nice chunk out of my finger. Fortunately, the first aid kid included stuff to make a compression bandage.
Once past Thursday, it was a pleasant stay, lots of walking around, lots of kicked back time (couldn't edit, knit, loom, forced to relax, even nap). Saw several friends we only see once a year, up there. Found a sterling silver "collar" to wear with my pendants I've purchased from MA, some movies and a couple books.
Next week is Dr. Vann, Dr. St. J, massage therapist and figuring out how to get in the pool and keep the finger bandage dry. Tonight I'm using a pressure cooker for the first time. Hold good thoughts for me, the kitchen, the food and those who are going to have to eat the results. With luck, I won't blow up the kitchen!
Gosh DR, thanks for that...I re-read my posts and thought what you all may think of me for having such a bad week for such petty things. So thanks for thinking that the trivial things are not so petty. I have a big problem with that. You know don't want to be a "bad" daughter!!
Zumba classes? Well, I first heard of them and thought they were like some kind of dancing and was sure I would never go. I cannot and do not pretend to dance. But on a suggestion I went with a friend and I love it. For me it is an hour of exercising every bone in my body. And I needed that. The class I go to is very cheap $3. I think that is cheap for what I get out of it. You can look it up on You Tube like you have on your line dances (by the way I loved the Elvis nite!!!) but the class I go to is not as fast paced as some of these. But when I can't get into the lake it will be a help for me to keep moving.
The Hamfest sounds like a fun time and something I would enjoy too! Sorry about the finger hope it heals quickly. It never fails to have something go wrong on a trip. Oh and I am sure you will do just fine with the pressure cooker. I love them for canning. Never used them otherwise. But hope your food turns out yummy.
Dona, I don't think your problems are trivial at all! While I feel totally trapped and often frustrated with my mother, at least it's not 24/7. If it were, I'd probably kill either myself or her. I admire you for sticking with it, and the Shankster, too, since he doesn't need to be a "good daughter" and he's still there.
I've had a bad cold or the flu or something for a few days now. On the mend, but still sniffling and coughing and feel totally washed out, exhausted, and grumpy about oh, so many things. But I'll spare you all until a later time, as right now I think I'll try for a nap.
Dona - Trivial things are not petty and are the stuff that drives us over the edge. Give me a crisis and I'm good - it only lasts a short time and is often resolved fairly quickly. The trivial goes on and on and on and on and there's no resolution in sight, unless/until it reaches a state of crisis, when one takes action for self-defense and survival. And, of course, we all want to be the "good" daughter. Sigh. I'll check out the zumba classes on YouTube. Glad you enjoyed the LD video. We do have a lot of fun. And, the pressure cooker dinner was a big success and I can see why folks rave about them - a fork tender pork loin roast, new potatoes, gravy on the table in the space of an hour? And I didn't blow up the house in the process (altho I had my doubts at times). I love my crock pot, but when Himself asks what's for dinner at 5:00, the idea of defrosting something in the micro for 15 minutes and having it on the table, meat and veggies and all, in another hour holds a lot of appeal.
Pat, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lousy. Sending healing light and vibes your direction. You know, while you're not in attendance 24/7, you're on call 24/7 and that's pretty stressing in itself. Take care of you, please.
Hi Dona
First about the double post, welcome to the Google Screws Me Up Frequently club.
They always have one on the DWTS list that has dance experience and then everyone complains how unfair it is. Be interesting to see what happens.
First it is against the rules of the blog for you to say any of your concerns are trivial. I will tell you, however, that I think all old farts are that way. They seem to be losing different things, like eyesigh hearing, and making us do things over makes them feel they have some control left. They really don't see how it hurts us.
Mom constantly not only interrupts me but anything I say is changed. Mom let's put the table over there because it is easier to get the wheelchair through. Not its not, I want the wheelchair over there. And so on.
That is just my take out it, is your dad is losing control in some areas, feels guilty had how much he has impacted your life, and trys to show he is in charge so you can see he still can take of some things. I'm a little on The Shankster side that he isn't showing you respect but I'm more on the side of feeling sorry for him because as happens with a lot of the elderly they have quit viewing the world looking out and thinking of others and started to look in and think only of themselves. It is almost impossible to let them know what they are doing because they will deny it.
You could do what my sister does and park where your damn well please anyhow, plant whatever you want to anyhow. or you can do what I do take a deep breath and pity him for how selfish he has become and bitch to friends and relatives.
I really hope someone in your family steps up to help you with your dad and gives you a break. Both you and The Shankster deserve it.
I'm praying that a solution, short of a hit man, will appear.
Bill
Hi DR
The next two weeks are going to be pretty busy, in a way I am looking forward to them and in a way I will be glad when they are over.
Zumba classes are fun excercising classes. I will try to find a link to some videos and post them tomorrow.
Bill
Hi DR
Two weeks but if you have something to share betwen then you can post an update anywhere on teh blog.
I love that you are going back and forth between work stuff and healthy stuff like the line dancing and the pool.
If the muscle massage helps I hope it is less painful and I will be rooting for good news from the ortho, will send vibes and prayers Tuesday.
What a nightmare beginning to the trip to the Hamfest. Ouch on the finger and I hope it quickly heals. Glad the trip ended up being peaceful. I think Walgrens has water protected bandaids and wrap. I'm sure you will do just fine with the pressure cooker. I'd feel safe in the kitchen if you were using one in front of me.
Bill
Hi Pat
I don't like that you are sick and am sending all the positive vibes you way for a fast healing. I understand grumpy because when I am sick I'm a bear, it is one of the reasons I like to be alone when I am sick. Be grumpy you deserve it!
And you deserve at a least a year of free chocolate for how well you take care of your Mom. Nobody would do as much for their mom as you do and under the most dire of circumanstances.
Bill
Hi Dona
There is no way I would ever call you a bad daughter. Nor would I call anyone here a bad daughter, all of you are doing more than anyone.
Bill
Hi DR
Do I ever agree with you about trivial things. It is the domino effect. Or a house of cards. Like you I can handle a crisis. I feel needed even during them but the daily stuff I want to kick something or someone.
Yea on the pressure cooker!
Bill
I have to say that I was in part relieved to hear what you all said to me. Its hard enough to live with family I think, let alone live with them when you have a spouse along for the ride. Its terribly hard to be able to stand up for not only yourself but take a side when one is your parent and the other is your spouse and you can see both sides in these kind of situations. So I was really happy to know that you all think I was or am ok in my thinking. I really think a lot of all of you here and Pat I love that you say you admire me, makes me feel good. DR glad you understand the trivial/survival issues. You all have a way of saying just what I am thinking and making it all better for me.
Bill, I thank you for listening to me on your emails, and on here and for ever posting a blog such as this. Everything you said was exactly right on the mark. I know dad wants to hang on to everything, as if he doesn't it may mean he is that much closer to death, and I know he is not ready for that. I know this. He made it very clear in his actions right away. But this is what is hard for the Shankster to understand.
Bill, we are doing as your sister and parking in the same spot. (Shankster is equally as stubborn) I could send you all pictures of things here you would all gasp at, but have decided not to. I thought it may make you all understand more what I was talking about but I think you all know already.
Family is not an option, we knew that the first 10 months with mom. Pat, you are too funny with the remarks on you and your mother, its funny to laugh & joke about our situations, and we all here know it is how we get by each day.
And did somebody here say something about CHOCOLATE FOR A YEAR? Pat if you don't jump on that I will!!
Thanks guys!!! I feel so much better.
OH and Bill, is there any tax exemptions for a hit man....would that fall under home improvement? :)
Hi Dona
Hit men for caregivers are deducted under medical expenses as a form of pyschological counseling.
We need to thank you, you don't need to thank us. One of the main reasons I started the blog was as a hybrid caregiver support group and you brought us back to that. Judging by the comments we all needed to share some things.
Spouses like the Shankster and my Sister's husband, and like DR's Himself are very special people to help with the burdens their spouse has to face. They hold a special place in my heart. Then there are spouses like my bro's wife, he made an agreement with her never to go to be angry and has been awake for forty years.
We all think a lot of you too or I shouldn't speak for others but I know I do.
I admire you for parking where you darn well please wish I had the guts to something similiar.
Maybe I will run a contest for Christmas with the winner getting a five pound box of chocolate.
And I love your emails.
Bill
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