Someone passes out in front of you so you immediately start CPR. You haven't been to a CPR class for a while so you do it the old fashion way and start breathing into their mouth. According to the article that may are may not be a mistake but it isn't necessary:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101006/ap_on_he_me/us_med_hands_only_cpr
Now that we helped save some lives Marlo Thomas, Dr. Dale Atkins and I would like to save your marriage:
http://marlothomas.aol.com/2010/09/15/top-10-myths-about-marriage-and-how-to-get-over-them/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main-n%7Cdl10%7Csec3_lnk1%7C175510
There are a couple of the myths that I think really aren't myths. The last one bothers me the most because it indicates it is ok to at times take your spouse for granted and don't think that is ever a good idea.
Now that you have saved a life and a marriage want to know how to determine if you and your number on person are perfectly matched?
http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/10/05/perfectly-matched-couples-do-this/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main-n%7Cdl3%7Csec3_lnk2%7C175491
I honestly don't think it is how you talk to each other, I think it is more about how you talk to your spouse and how well you listen to them. But what do I know, I'm still single. Your comments about the articles of the day or anything else on the blog are greatly appreciated.
WHO AM I?
I was born in 1930 and best known for my painted story quilts. Bill has promised be that tomorrow he will post a link to where you can see my work. I have been a professor emeritus at University of California at San Diego. I was raised in Harlem and received an MA from City College of New York. I learned fabric when I worked at mom with my fashion designer mom. I have influenced some of the greatest African American artists. My work is at many museums including Guggenheim. In addition to my stunning quilts I have illustrated seventeen children's books. My writer daughter and I were founding members of the National Black Feminist Organization. I was also a founding member of the "Where We At" Black Women Artists, Inc., a New York-based women art collective associated with the Black Arts Movement. If you don't know who I am by now maybe your should visit TAR BEACH. That might help you answer the question Who Am I?
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8 comments:
I'd read about the new CPR method, hands-only, but hadn't seen any real research or stats on it. Interesting that it saves more lives in most cases. Also, interesting to see the qualifiers when mouth-to-mouth is needed.
I agree with most of the myths, although a lot of them are pretty ingrained. As to the last one, I think it depends on how you interpret "take for granted." I do not get up every morning and put on make-up and "good" clothes, if I'm going to be at home all day, nor do I expect himself to do so. I do not put on a happy face when I'm feeling crummy or expect him to do so. I think a comfortable and happy marriage is when we're willing and happy to take each other as "real" people. OTOH, if take for granted means forgetting to say and show your love, not doing special little things, remembering each others' preferences and showing consistent caring, I think there's a problem.
As to the latter... geez, we got us a problem at this house (g). I don't think we talk alike, but then I've never really paid attention, now I think about it. I rather suspect it would take an objective outsider to see if that's the case.
Hi DR
The CPR article is encouraging me to look for a class to update my certificate. I would have never done anything in the article before reading it.
I interpret take for granted meaning that you are late for meetings with them because you know they will be there for you. Or you will not show them normal respect and curtesies because you no matter what you do they will still be there.
My guess is you and Himself are independent souls and don't talk alike. However, it would be interesting to see what someone like TJ and MJ would say after being around you for a while.
Bill
See, that's what I mean about taking for granted - it depends on the interpretation. Maybe I'm thinking more in terms of acceptance - Himself accepts that I do not willing recognize more than one six o'clock in the day and I accept he's going to get up at 4:30 am and leave me to go to a distant hamfest or hunting or fishing (wry s). He doesn't do dancing of any kind and I take an afternoon a week to go to line dance class and we both take it for granted that this is okay.
Your comment about MA/TJ observing and about Himself/myself being independent is interesting. MA/TJ don't talk at all alike, nor necessarily reflect each other in thoughts or comments, yet there's no doubt in my mind about how much they care about each other and their marriage.
C'mon, you guys, could we have a little more input here?
See, my definition of taking for granted is different than yours. I would call what you've described disrespectful.
I think after a while, you're going to take the other person for granted, no matter how hard you try not to. The key is to still show respect, to thank the other person for what they do, to go out of your way once in awhile. Yes, it's taken for granted that there will be dinner every night, even when I worked all day, but when I get a thank you, it means a lot. Joe just made some popcorn and brought me a bowl without me asking, because he knows I like it. You can still be happy and enjoy your relationship, even when a lot gets taken for granted after 20 years.
I've heard that a lot lately about CPR. No further need for mouth-to-mouth. And I've wondered why now they've decided that. But since the experts seem to agree, it's fine with me. I can toss the kit I got some time ago that allows you to give m to m without directly smooching the patient's mouth. I'm just glad I never had to use it!
I wrote that before reading the article, but now I see there are caveats there. I can't imagine it takes 16 seconds to get two breaths done. Maybe the thing is to do it if you can, or if you have someone else to do continuous chest compressions.
I think the second article, about the myths, is pretty much right on. The third one puzzles me. I don't think my husband and I did "language style matching", although of course any couple will pick up inside jokes and little similar ways of expressing themselves. But maybe we weren't "perfectly matched", who can say? Their advice at the end to consciously mimic speech and mannerisms of friends and colleagues seems to me to be total BS. Unless you're really good at it, would seem to be mocking and condescending.
Hi DR
Just for fun I dead a Google search for the meaning of taken for granted and this is the defnition I liked the best:
"it means to take something as if it will always be granted to you, as if you won't have to work hard for it in the future."
You definitely have to have acceptance in a marriage and the willingness to work hard not to change the other person.
I'm betting MA/TJ see you the same way!
Bill
Hi Mary
Thanks for chiming in.
There is no doubht the things I mentioned were disrespecful. But I wonder if one couldn't define being taken for granted as disrespectful.
I think respect and communication are extremely important. And do I ever agree with that a thank you goes a long ways.
In some ways I wonder if what you are describing isn't more being comfortable with each other and knowing each more than it is being taken for granted.
Bill
Hi Pat
I wonder if it isn't so much them deciding that mouth to mouth is no longer needed as it is to them finding an alternative to it because strangers are reluctant to give mouth to mouth due to germs and illnesses.
I actually think language style matching would be pretty boring.
I alson think their advise to mimic speech and mannerisms is wrong and in some ways cruel.
Bill
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