I Survived

Before Bob Newhart became a TV Icon he not only appeared on radio but he recorded comedy albums. One of his best selling and most famous recordings was titled “The Driving Instructor”, you can read a transcript of that performance here: http://www.wepsite.de/driving_instructor.htm

For me it all started with a dream. Yesterday I showed up at Mom’s for the first of my two nights at her house. We were talking and she said to me “I had a dream last night.” That isn’t really that unusual, she usually dreams about chocolate or dad or both. I’m thinking this will be an easy story to listen to. She continued “I had a dream that you needed me and I couldn’t get to you”. “It’s OK Mom if something happened to me I could just call Ryan, my nephew, and he would help me. His wife would come get you.” “Yes, Bill, but what if you couldn’t get them, then I would need to help you.” “OK, Mom, what would you like do it about it?” "I would like to try driving."

I was thinking to myself, “she still has a legitimate license, she sees pretty well, has a sharp mind, it wouldn‘t be illegal, good for her for wanting to try something she hasn't done for a while.”

“OK, Mom don’t go to far.”

“I would feel more comfortable if you would go along with me.”

“Hmmmmm. You want me to ride with you?” (I’m not sure she heard the panic in my voice. All of a sudden snakes didn’t seem so frightening.)

“Yes, if I get stuck you can help me out.”

Gulp. However, I am a supportive dude of the woman and men in my life. I called and reserved an urn. That way if I die in a car accident, my epitaph can read “Kiss my ash.” Then I looked for the list of people to notify in case of my early demise.

“You really want me to ride with you? Are you sure?” What can I say, I’m an optimist, I thought for sure she was going to say no.

“Yes, I want you to ride with me.”

“OK. Can I borrow your nitro?”

I backed the car out of the driveway. Helped mom into the car. Helped her into the driver’s seat. I got into the passenger side. I sat in the seat often referred to as the suicide seat. Off we went. We drove about three our four miles, through King City. And, you know what? She did absolutely great. She drove exactly the speed limit. Used her turn signal appropriately. Stopped at all the stopped signs. She turned into the driveway and pulled the car into the garage, expertly judging the distance between garage doors. I was really proud of her. For not only trying something new but for doing so great at it. I was proud of me too because during the whole trip I didn’t say one word. I will admit, however, that it is really difficult to talk with a nitro under your tongue.

The bottom line is Mom isn’t going to drive either that much or that far. She isn’t going to get on freeways or hot rod it anywhere. She is just going to be to drive the three blocks to the grocery store and the four blocks to her bridge club. There is no traffic going to either place, everyone should be safe from my hot rod mother.

No questions of the day until July 4. I need a break from researching the questions. The answer to yesterday’s questions are: Teddy bears were named for Teddy Roosevelt and because he wouldn’t shoot a caged bear. Sylvester was originally a clown, which is why he has a red nose. Tweety was originally a baby. A group of Dolphins is called a pod. Put a raisin in a soda and it will bounce up and down continually. The British pilots were given playing cards because supposedly If they were captured, the cards could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape

Hope this is a great day for you all! What harrowing experience have you survived lately?