Tomorrow there will be a Who Am I courtesy of Connie. Remember on the Who Am I to email me the answers rather than posting them on the blog. We don't want the late comers to the blog to cheat and steal your answers. Make them do their own darn homework.
As for today? Have you ever been in that state where you wanted to shut off your computer, turn off your phones, rollup in a ball and shutoff any contact with the outside world because you just didn't want to face the world and have anymore news? I'm there today.
L is my favorite cousin. We are connected at the hip because in a long line of relatives we were the only two with red hair. She is an absolutely beautiful woman. She lives now in Laguna Niguel, South of Los Angeles. A good Catholic girl she taught me how to use pogo sticks and how to play poker.
During my just ended busy season I wasn't really answering emails or returning phone calls. Didn't think I had the time. Last week a couple of days before April 15 she called my Mom worried about me because it wasn't like me to be non-responsive. I felt pretty bad so I got a little card with a picture of a baby's behind on it and wrote on the card that I was sorry for being a butt. I also sent a nice box of Moonstruck Chocolate to her with the card. This is the email that she sent yesterday:
Hi,
Well, aren't you a sweetheart--got the candy and your note today and you didn't have to do that--I will cut you some slack anytime and you have been so, so busy. Three jobs during tax season is terrible. Slow down luv! How are you feeling? Know you have had some heart problems so take care of yourself.
This next info is just for you and not your mom. At her age, there is no reason for her to know this and worry her dear, sweet head, ok? I didn't say anything to her when I called her as just felt she didn't need to hear it. I now have been diagnosed with myeloma (bone marrow cancer). It is at a stage called "smoldering" because they can't find where it is for now. When the doctor called me smoldering I thought why you little devil you as he is quite young and I was beginning to feel like a "cougar"--then he added myeloma and burst my bubble. Ha--gotta keep things light ya know. Actually, the day after I got news of the diagnosis, I got an ad in the mail from a mortuary and laughed and told Clark, isn't this a bit premature. The bone marrow biopsy showed it but the pet scan can't pick it up yet. So I am on hold for now and having blood work and being watched. When it gets detectable, there will be chemo and a wicked kind--they have prepared me to be very ill. But ya know what--I will fight this stuff and keep on keeping on. I go to UCLA now but the doctors there plan to send me to Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, AZ at some point as they are #1 in research and treatment of myeloma. It's a real bummer, isn't it? Excuse my language but I seem to be a "shit magnet" for cancer all of a sudden.
Tomorrow I have my endoscopy to check the lymphoma situation and it better be negative. Love ya much--off to eat chocolates--you have no idea how those came at just the right time.
L
There is no woman on this earth that deserves the trauma she is dealing with less than her. If there is anyone on earth that can beat it though, it is her.
On top of the news of my good friend Dick's passing, I don't want to hear anymore bad news. I am off to hide. Prayers, positive vibes, good thoughts sent my cousin's way would be very much appreciated.
About Me
- William J.
- First, I think the birth sign is wrong. 6-21, some papers say Gemini, some Cancer. Guess that means I have so many personalities that I can do group therapy alone. For those that don't know how to read Google profiles I have put what I really mean in ( ). Hot (Good looking enough to be in movies(if I buy at ticket). A body like a God (Buddha). Romantic (Thinks begging is foreplay.) Physically fit (Heart trouble. Put 911 on speed dial before we get initmate.) Good Provider (has good life insurance in case you forget to put 911 on speed dial.) Loyal (has reference letters from Mom and parole officer.) Intelligent (scored 1600 on his SATS but you have to total the scores of the four times that I took the test.) Looking for someone compatible (Be between 30 & 99 and not inflatable.)
10 comments:
Lots of good wishes for your cousin, Bill. And bravo to her for keeping her sense of humor and her will to fight.
I'd love to roll up in a ball myself at the moment. Had first day of jury service yesterday, which was grueling for all sorts of reasons. Have to go back Monday, and I'm afraid this time I may actually be chosen for a jury in a trial that is predicted to last 3 weeks. As icing on the cake, when I visited mom last night, she was all over the place, worrying about paying the bill for dinner, asking questions about "our mother", apparently thinking at times that I was her sister. "Our mother" died something like 50 or 60 years ago, and her sister is gone, too. Altogether not a good day or night, with more like it to come, no doubt.
Hi Pat
Thank you re my cousin!
Wow, you have been dealing with a lot too! Ir is so hard when you don't know what Mom you are going to get. I am wondering if three weeks is to long for you to be in jury duty and away from you Mom. I thought a two day trial was to long for me!
I do hope the days and nights get better.
Bill
Ooops, forgot about the email answers. I'm trainable, just don't always retain well (wry s)
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin! Sounds like she's got a mighty full plate, but she also sounds strong and courageous. I'll include her in my daily prayers.
Pat, I'm so sorry to hear your mom is having bad days again. I cannot imagine how difficult it is, never to know what you're going to find each day. I do think Bill has a point -- if jury selection is for a trial lasting three weeks, I hope you'll mention to the PTB that your mother is in a nursing facility, you must visit each day or evening and, more important, you are the only "on call" person if anything goes wrong, like the situation with her arm last week. It's quite probably they'll excuse from serving.
As to rolling up in a ball (or curling up under a rock, where no one can find me), yeah, I've had those times. Times I feel like I'm on system overload and the system is about to crash, if I get one more piece of information or task or whatever and I just want the world to go away.
Hugs to both of you.
Hi DR
Really no problem re the answers but some of those eency weency people should be required to do their homework.
My cousin is the most courageous person I know. She will definitely appreciate you keeping in her prayers.
I didn't want to come right out and tell Pat to use her Mom to get out of jury duty so I am glad you posted your support!
System overload is a great way to describe it!
Thank you for the hugs!
Bill
Well, I don't see Pat's Mom as an excuse to get off jury duty, but as a valid issue that needs to be considered and I think that's true of each and every one of us in caregiver situations, particularly if we're the sole caregiver. I'd have gladly served two or three days, with the understanding that my cell phone Would Be On and I was the sole emergency contact for a 90 year old woman and if something happened, I was out of there. Two to three weeks -- wouldn't happen. Heck, I couldn't have found a two-three week stretch when we didn't have to be at a doctor's office, PT app't, blood test app't.
Family caregivers may not be paid, but they have, at the least, a part time job and a full time on call job and it would be costly to hire someone to handle their duties, which represents hardship.
I got out my podium only because I know so many of your readers are caregivers, many the sole caregiver, and I think we often forget how important we may be to our parents/children/spouse/whomever we care for and many people, who want us to do something or expect us to do something, have no idea how a caregiver is juggling myriad responsibilities and never has enough hours and is often "on call" most of the time. I think we hesitate to tell others that we simply can not do what they want us to do, often because we figure it's "not their problem and they don't need to hear." Well, it's not their problem, but they do need to hear and to understand there comes a point when we're not going to work extra hours or take jury duty or accept one more responsibility that takes away even another hour of our already limited and very precious time for ourselves.
You and others have done this longer than I did and, granted, I'm no longer totally responsible (although there are still times...), but the point is we have to take care of ourselves. I'm paying for not doing so, so maybe I'm a bit less than objective right now, but caregivers have needs, too, and I think we need to recognize those and make other people aware of them.
(putting away soapbox)
Bill, I wouldn't be away from mom, I'd just be visiting at night instead of in the daytime, which I do more than half the time already.
And DR, there's no "must" about visiting every day. I just do it. However, I am the only on-call person, except for hospice, of course, and I'll certainly mention that, but they may think hospice is more important to call if anything comes up. Too many people just don't show up for jury duty, and they've tightened the rules quite a bit.
Hi DR
I used a very poor choice of words when I said use her mom as an excuse. However, since my poor choice of words lead to one of your soapboxes I am glad I did!
I love your soapboxes and love then even more like this one that I completely agree with.
Bill
Hi Pat
I was more worried about emergencies. However, in some ways maybe a three week break where you only visit your mom once a day may in some ways be a good thing. However, I anticipate there being days when you are so tired after jury duty that you may not want to visit.
Bill
Good vibes and best wishes to your cousin. And I'm sorry about your friend. Think you need some chocolate for yourself, Bill. :)
Hi Snug
Nice to see you post!
Thanks for the thoughts re my cousin and I came really close to eating the chocolates before mailing them!
Bill
Post a Comment