An article that has gone viral reports on a new study where forty percent of the respondents thought marriage was obsolete:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_declining_marriage
I've been single all my life and while I can list the benefits of being single from memory I've always admired my married friends and the institution itself. I've always thought I would thrive in the institution of marriage and its built-in support system.
If the institution of marriage is obsolete than aren't the laws relating to marriage also obsolete? Joint ownership of houses and what happens to if one member of a couple dies? Other property? Before we declare marriage obsolete I think we really need to think this through. What is your opinion? Is marriage obsolete? Does the study surprise you?
Right after reading the study on marriage being obsolete the following article popped up in my in desk:
http://www.aolhealth.com/condition-center/arthritis/happy-marriage-can-ease-arthritis-pain?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main-n%7Cdl3%7Csec3_lnk1%7C184871
The institution may be obsolete but it can also make you healthy. What do you think, can obsolete things be healthy?
I'm closing with one of my favorite subjects, teens doing good things.
http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/11/10/alzheimers-disease-alissa-anderegg/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main-n%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%7C184871
Your comments are always appreciated. Off to lunch with a friend and former business associate. Then I am hitting the mall to look for a new suit.
PS
The answer to yesterday's Who Am I was Jane Elizabeth Hodgson.
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6 comments:
Obsolete marriage might be socially, but definitely not legally. It's bad enough with just partners dealing with property issues. But then they get to health care issues - and who is and is not legally "qualified" to deal with them. To say nothing of inheritance issues.
When children are in the picture, the problems increase exponentially.
I think any group of people can legitimately call themselves a "family" - I have no problem with recognizing any of that. We have two cases in our family where stable long-term relationships, with co-owned property (but no children), decided to make their unions legal because of possible health issues.
Yeah, what Mary Z. said. But interesting that more and more are considering marriage obsolete. One friend of mine lived with her boyfriend for 17 years before they got married. They are still happily together. Others found relationships deteriorating right after signing the papers, so go figure. A 19 y/o worker where my mom lives told me he didn't believe in marriage. Maybe that's the trend. Me? I don't think it's necessary except if you plan to have kids, in which case it's probably better legally and socially. Someone on radio made the comment that straight people are finding marriage unimportant, whereas many gays consider it very important indeed. Ironic, huh? I'd say the answer is civil unions for everybody who wants one, with all the legal benefits of marriage. Those who want a religious or other ceremony are welcome to have it.
On the arthritis thing, who knows? They should do a study with happily married and happily single people for a real answer.
Sweet story about the young woman's concern about Alzheimer's, but in my grumpy old age, I become increasingly annoyed about all the "awareness" activities. Or maybe it's just the term that annoys me. Who ISN'T aware of breast cancer and Alzheimer's and diabetes and all the other lurking badnesses? Why don't they just say they want to raise research money?
Hi Mary Z
I agree with you, it is one reason I'm for marriage for everyone or at least a legal binding union enforcable by courts. I've seen to many times people lose assets or not be able to even see a loved one.
I also have no problem with anyone being described as a family.
Bill
Hi Pat
Having an opinion doesn't make you grumpy, it shows that you look at things thru different eyes. I hadn't thought about the awareness thing and I come down on two different sides. You are right that it is overused and they should just come out and ask for donation. Or we are just more informed than a lot of the public and are just more aware of what is going on.
It is insteresting that more people are saying marriage is obsolete. Maybe the trend is to not believe in marriage. If we end up with an unmarried society I sure hope the laws change to make dealing with death easier.
I find the statement that you made " straight people are finding marriage unimportant, whereas many gays consider it very important indeed." Very ironic and very interesting and makes me wonder if it the apple analogy, you want weren't you can't or allwed to have.
I agree with your about the arthiritis story. Test the single people too!
Bill
I don't think marriage is obsolete. I do think a lot more people are living together, but then again, it's not something anyone looked closely at thirty or forty years ago, when "living together" was pretty much frowned on. I think joint ownership of a house, car, bank account, etc. takes care of any legal tangles there. If the couple has living wills and the legal advocate paperwork, those may help with the health issues. People can get married in a civil service at a court house, if they don't want the religious aspects of a marriage ceremony. I think marriage is important, but that may be my mid-Western provincial upbringing. I do find it interesting that one of the reasons the census is rethinking the definition of marriage is so they can (if I read it right) reduce the number of people considered to be at poverty level.
I agree with you and Pat that the arthritis study would be more accurate it it included both happy couples and happy singles. Neither state guarantees happiness, as the unhappy marrieds show. I have a number of friends who are single, due to loss of a spouse through death or divorce, yet they're busy, involved, have a lot of friends and a wonderful support system and are quite happy in their single state. I was quite happy as a single for 35 years and then blessed to have two happy marriages, which leads me to believe lifestyle, particularly if it creates a contented environment with friends for support, is more the key than being married.
Good for the teen. Like Pat, I sometimes get frustrated with the "awareness" thing, but at the same time I agree with Bill that most all of us here are aware, but there's a whole raft of folks out there who are not, who have never been exposed to cancer or Alzheimer's and have no clue what it means to the families, as well as the victims/patients. Today, there are still people who think cancer may be contagious and so many people who avoid those with either disease, because they don't know anything about it, how to deal with it (even with friends), what to say. These are the people who need to be reached.
Hi DR
I kind of thought from the article they really weren't talking about marriages being obsolete as there were talking about the changes in the dynamic of what families have become.
I was brought up in the West and
I also think marriage is important.
I know people that have been married for years and it ends due to death or divorce and they often say they wouldn't marry again because they like being single.
You and I are on the same awareness page. Thinking cancer is catching is just uninformed but it does show the need for more awareness.
Bill
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