After the great response and how much fun we had with getting to know each other it is going to be hard to come up with new posts that even come close to the success of the last one. Questioning whether or not I can live up to the success of the last post helped me to come up with some questions for all of you. Following along with the theme of getting to know each other here are a list of questions:
1. What do you fear most success or failure?
I have had my share of both so really don't fear either. What I do know that is that I am a lot more successful at things if someone tells me I can't do something. Then I feel the need to prove them wrong and usually do.
2. Since all the posters here are women I am really curious as to what you look for in a man and if what you look for in a man is different if you are looking for a man for a long term relationship or a short term relationship?
What I look for in a woman isn't looks. You can lose weight, educate yourself, get a new hairstyle, what you can't do is change the basic character. What I look for in a woman is a sense of humor, similiar values, and that they like me. If they enjoy being with me that takes the pressure off and I can be more myself.
3. If you could choose the perfect career for you what career would you choose?
Mine would be motivational speaker. Which is weird because standing up in front of an audience and speaking scares the heck out of me.
4. This one is specifically for Pat. Where you happy with the winner of So You Think You Can Dance?
I was.
5. Of course the often asked question is next. What would you do if you won the lottery?
I would start a foundation named after my mom and dad whose main focus would be threefold:
A. Breast cancer research. B. Funds to give to the elderly that couldn't afford their own caregivers. C. Organ transplants.
Of course I would set aside a lot of funds to have one heck of a good time. Travel more.
Your turn.
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11 comments:
Oh, gosh, this is going to be tough! So I'll reply off the top of my head, and not in order, so there.
I was delighted that Joshua won SYTYCD. I was rooting for him, but thought Twitch (who was also fine) would win.
Okay, back in order. I certainly don't fear success. And not failure much, either. I have also had both. Success is better.
I'm not looking for a man at this point in my life. It would be just another responsibility, however fun, and I don't have anything left over for a man right now. But if I were looking, probably sense of humor (seems first with everyone), intelligence of course, maybe a sense of adventure, and someone with interests of his own that wouldn't have to be the same as mine. He should also have a job or independent means.
I think I had a pretty good career and can't think of anything I'd rather have done. Now? No ambitions at all.
If I won the Lottery, I'd just faint dead away and think about it later. I love your ideas, especially (B), which resonates at the moment. I'd give serious bucks to several charities I won't list here. I'd buy a Prius and would probably travel some. Maybe I'd move, maybe just move out for a few months while somebody fixed up my house. I'd set up a fund so my daughter would never have to worry about money (not that she seems to, but you never know).
Ok.. here goes!
1) I resist success. Probably one reason I drag my feet on getting my jewerly shown. I have failure down to an art!
2) I look for the same qualties in a man, regardless of how long the relationship will last. I have always felt that relationships would be long term, but that hasn't really happened. So, recently, I changed my criteria up a little. For those of you who are familiar with The Secret... I took her advise and created a list of all the qualities my dream man would have. They are, and not necessarily in this order: caring - values integtrity - sensitive, HONEST - over 55 - tall/handsome, at least to me - NON-SMOKER - financially secure - white collar - loves to dance - attentive - a Mr. Handyman - strong and self confident - great sense of humor - loves to laugh/smile - playfull - loves to cook & single. I have this list on my bathroom mirror. We'll see what happens. I'm not looking for a life partner as I've come to believe I'm not that type, but I'd love to have company at the movies, resturants, or vacations.
3) My perfect career would be something similiar to what I am doing now. I think two of my strongest talents are my organizational and my customer service skills.
4) If I won the lottery, I'd faint, too! But, it's nice to dream about being able to do some things for me, and those I love. I'd pay off my mortgage and debts, build that spare closet in the garage (lol), pay off my brother's mortgage and get both his bathrooms fixed (long story), get a new car, arrange what ever Mother needs in order to keep her in her home as long as possible, buy a home for TJ (Mother's care taker).. and there are a few others I would like to shower with gifts who are most deserving as they are always giving to others.
I'd love to travel more, but won't do it alone. So I'll leave all this up to Him. If it's suppose to happen, it will happen!
Hmmm, more questions.
I have the type of personality that really doesn't accept failure. I can handle it if it happens (oh okay, it bugs me tremendously) but my idea of success is to succeed at whatever I try to do.
As for a man...tender subject there. If I was looking, it would be a man that had unconditional love of children, sense of humor, intelligence (I can't abide stupidity), and let's me be independent and have my space when needed. I agree with Pat. I think it is good for a man to have his own interests if they don't coincide with mine. But he better let me do my thing too!!! : )
I've never really had a career. My idea of a perfect career would to be a librarian. I love books!
If I won the lottery, I would donate some to organizations that deal with handicapped kids. Buy my one sister a house, give her some money, and say here, "Now you can do the rest." I would then start looking for land that had acreage with a hill to build a house away from people. I know, I'm anti-social. I would also build the house with an apartment on the side to hire a nanny. I want to be able to do some things for myself without worrying about my daughter. I would make a trust for my youngest so that if something ever happens to me, I would know she was taken care of for life.
Hi Pat
Success is definitely better but I always learn from failure too.
I think it is interesting that both you and Kaye thought a man should have his own interests.
You had a great and interesting career, I love hearing your stories.
Winning the lottery would probably free us from the care of our parents as we could provide them with 24 hour help and money wouldn't be an issue.
Bill
Hi Kaye
I don't Kaye you seem really sucessful in yourn job, you have a pretty important position.
As to what your looking for in a man, how tall? And would he qualify as a handyman if he gets dirty doing chores around the house because the ink from the yellow pages rubs off?
I'm going to try to find The Secret today.
I love what you want to do with your lottery funds!
Bill
Hi Symply
You sound like a very driven person.
It is interesting that all three of you wanted a man that had his own interests. And you all wanted independent men.
You would be my favorite Librarian!
I love your lottery choices!
Bill
Hmmm... This is tougher than the first post...
I don't think I fear either success or failure. I prefer not to fail, of course. I used to fear success, but since I've decided I'll take it only on my own terms, I'll take it if it comes along. At the moment, I feel as if I'm fairly successful by my own definition anyway.
A man -- kind, gentle, capable of taking charge, yet capable of allowing me to do so if approproiate. Comfortable with himself. Ethical, has integrity. Considerate of others. Has enough interests to allow me to have my own space when I need it. A sense of humor and sense of playfullness, even silliness on occasion. It would, of course be nice if he loved to dance and was financially well off, but I learned long ago those two criteria have nothing to do with a good relationship. (Fortunately, my husband of 21 year meets most of the important criteria)
I think, if I had it all to do over again, I'd like to be a psychotherapist. That said, my twenty years as a freelance editor has been very satisfying and a good and comfortable fit for my interests, abilities and experince.
The Lottery -- lovely thought, winning. First, the selfish stuff... I'd pay off all the college loans for niece and nephews and mortgages for self and sibs and set up accounts they could draw from. I'd find out exactly what Mom wants and needs for living space and conditions and find out how to make that happen. I'd buy an RV that was exactly what we wanted and a dinghy to tow and we'd do a LOT more traveling. I'd design an addition to the house and do some redesign of the interior and include an indoor spa-pool in the plan. Charitable accounts with routine payouts would be set up, mostly for local agencies, such as the food missions, Miracle Hills, women's shelters, helping at-risk kids, senior organizations. I'd like to create an agency that addresses all the needs of the elderly at one place -- living, finances, home care (from nursing to cleaning), medical advocates, drivers, mental health. A one-stop center, that includes helping the caregivers find ways to help their parents and still have a life of their own. I'd like to buy the big empty building in TR and turn it into a co-op market and studios for the many talented artists we have in the Upstate area. Ironically, I'd probably still clean my own house (although I think I'd get one of those chefs who fixes all the meals and puts them in your freezer!), do my own ironing and take Mom to her medical appointments, but hire a driver to take her anywhere she wants to go, whenever she wants to go, be it the grocery store, McDonalds for breakfast or across the country to visit her kids. (Hmmm, guess that goes back up under selfish.)
Gosh, Bill, you got some interesting answers to add to your own.
Btw, are your friends in Portland jealous of the fact you have a harem?
Kaye R -- I hear you on the success and jewelry business. I did a lot of that with my writing. It's only recently I realized I could define success on my terms and that's made it more comfortable for me, should it happen.
AS for the overall responses, I'm seeing that we're all a lot alike. Those of us with careers, past or present, may have done things differently in some cases, but we're overall pretty satisfied with the way our lives have gone in that respect. Looks like all are in the same ballpark when it comes to what we admire in men (you are taking notes, Bill, right?) and, interesting, all of us not only desire, but appear to need, our own space and time to some degree. I wonder if that's because those who've checked in so far are caregivers/nurterers to others in one way or another? Also interesting to see that pending the lottery money involves setting some aside for kids or siblings in a lot of cases. Bill, you've got a wonderful group here and I'm so glad you invited me to visit your blog!
Hi Lady DR
I am going to answer both your posts in one.
Nobody in Portland that I have a blog. Every once in a while someone will come to the blog through a search engine or will come from another blog that I post in. But I actually get more visits from New York then Portland.
I hope if there is a single woman reading the blog and sees what nice ladies post here and seem to like me that will spark their interest and think I am a worthy dude and email me. Hasn't happened yet.
I am paying very close attention to what women want in a man that is why I asked the question. I was surprised at the answers and the consistency of them. I like to think I have a lot of the qualities that are stated!
I am extremely glad that you visit the blog because you add so much to it. I am flattered by the intelligence of the women here and their willingness to share their thoughts.
Now on to your comments.
You and I both fear neither success or failure. I like that. And you are extremely successful.
You would make a great therapist.
I love all of what you want to do with lottery funds but buying the building for coop studios and markets intrigues me.
Bill
Is there a good reason no one in Portland knows about your blog? I suspect you'd have women lined up at your door, my friend. Having known you for... over 15 years?... and having met you in person and shared a car from the airport (after ascertaining you didn't have an axe in your luggage), I can certainly provide references you're a neat guy and very interesting and, yes, you do have a majority of the qualities we've all deemed important.
Thank you for the positive comments. We all appreciate "attaboys" from folks we like and respect.
As to the co-op -- about a year after we moved here, Ingles closed a big store in TR. It's right on Hwy 25, the gateway to the Blue Mtns. From that day to this, I've dreamed of turning the space into an artists' co-op. We have an incredible amount of talent just in Greenville County, let alone the broader Upstate. There's a very small co-op shop in a small town across the NC border. I envision a larger shop, sectioned by craft, staffed by the artists themselves on a rotating basis, with a section of the space reserved for small studios for painters, sculpters, pottery workers, jewelry makers and the like. I rather imagine it would take some big bucks to renovate the building and to provide for rent and upkeep for several years, until the traffic built to where the artists could pay expenses from their sales. But, what fun!!!
Hi Dr
Thank you the very nice compliments but I just don't picture myself as the type of guy that has women lined up at his door and if they are lined up at my door is because they want to meet my brother or my next door neighbor.
I've stayed away from letting Portland know because of the number of clients that I have had in the area and it might make them feel uncomfortable know that I had a blog. If they were uncomfortable that might not be as willing to confide in me when they are paying for my services. Even though I am not the big firm I used to be I am under contract to the firm that bought my business and a bulk of my clients go there. I want those clients to feel free to tell may anything including things that may not be above board so I or the new firm can advise them accordingly.
I couldn't get the darn axe through airport security and that was before 9-11.
OK, you convinced me, if I win the lottery you get money for the co-op!
Bill
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