Wow, where has this week gone? Another update day is here. This is the day you get to update me on your life. If you have been reading the blog for a while and haven't posted this is a good day to introduce yourself. Tell me how you are doing with your elderly parents. Your concerns and joys. Have any enlightenments this week? If you aren't caring for elderly parents tell me about your life and what you are doing that pleases you. Or if you have any concerns would love to hear about those too. The posters here are very supportive and maybe they might have some helpful ideas for you. Don't worry about being first either because technically you will be second since I am first.
As you know this week started with the caregiver being ill and me making arrangements for her to go somewhere else until she got well. I was the main caregiver until yesterday. The good thing is that with me there all of Mom's vitals went lower. The bad thing is that with me there all of my vitals went higher. Not significantly higher but higher. I decided since this intense caregiving was temporary I would make it as fun as week as possible for Mom. Monday I cooked dinner. Tuesday I fixed lunch but we went out for dinner. Wednesday we went out to lunch then I cooked a dinner from scratch. Nobody died. Thursday it was lunch in and dinner out. Yesterday I came home and Mom is back to what we were doing before. Of course there were a lot of games of Yahtzee and Scrabble. Watching Dancing With The Stars together. The meals out were interesting because the waitresses really love Mom and I guess me too because I was hugged by two waitresses I had never met before. It is fun to see Mom interact with people, she is really social and she always has a good time when people pay attention to her. Maybe I learned that a wheelchair with a ninety year old woman in it is a babe magnet.
Tuesday I went on the job interview. Met two really nice accountants. A woman in her early forties. A man in his fifties that wants to get out of doing tax returns and do nothing but litigation support and business valuations. The interview went really well. They asked for references so I rattled off ten names and phone numbers from memory. They were kind of impressed that I could remember all those phone numbers. I've always been able to do that. If you tell me what your phone number is I'll never remember it but if you write it on a piece of paper and give it to me I will never forget it. I've probably got five hundred phone numbers stored in my brain somewhere. It is only phone numbers. Names and faces no way. Meet you once and then run into, I'd have no clue as to who you were. Just numbers. A couple of references called me and asked me what they should say. I told them to be honest tell them my good points as well as my bad. The firm will let me know after Thanksgiving if they want me to work tax season support with them.
That is my week. Boring and exciting all at the same time. OK, now the blog is yours for a day!
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20 comments:
I have nothing to report, which is probably a good thing. Mom continues calm in the evenings with the new med schedule, so I'm pleased about that.
It sounds as if you made your FT caregiving stint as enjoyable as possible, so good for you for that. Sorry about your vitals going up, but glad to hear that squiring your mom in the wheelchair may be a babe magnet. Better than the produce section, with any luck.
Good luck on the job front. If they don't hire you, they're crazy, and I'd be happy to be a long-distance reference if you can use one.
Where has the week gone, indeed? Glad to hear you and Mom had a pleasant week, with special outings, during your caregiver stint. Like Pat, sorry to hear about the higher vitals. Hopefully you can get the caretaker issue resolved soon, as I know you're considering a change.
My week's bounced between good and marginal, the typical roller coaster. Mom's been flat since Sunday, as you all know. The PA led us to believe the antibiotics would have her much better in 48 hours. Ain't happening, so far, and they didn't call with the results of the flu swab.
Monday I did the pool, then to Mom's check on her and deliver a few things she needed, then worked on editorial a couple hours. Tuesday I did the pool and went to Mom's with more stuff she needed and worked a bit. Wednesday I did line dance, talked to Mom, called the doctor for an app't. Thursday I did the pool, picked Mom up and we spent the afternoon at the doctors, took her home and got her prescriptions, then went through pill boxes, because she can't have anything with calcium, magnesium or zinc while on the antibiotics. Friday I did the pool, researched b/p monitors and worked a bit. Sent out the weekly Mom Report to the sibs, to which I never get any response, but I do it so no one can say they don't know what's happening, at least from my perspective. This morning I did domestics, then headed to Mom's. Checked her b/p, which was 130/60, so the bottom number is coming up, but not enough. The monitor is supposed to be "clinically calibrated," so I'm hoping it's accurate. Her b/p needs to be tested every day for the next two weeks.
Went through her mail to sort out bills to be paid and try to find a notice from RXBlue on any changes and from the state on any changes. No luck. Went through her files and got the asset information for my own research and the atty and hopefully enough info to track down what's happening (if anything) with her Part D plan and the SC gap plan. Since I do her taxes, I've got the necessary income info, I think. Had planned on catching up on edit hours tomorrow, but I think instead I'll deal with our paperwork and then move to researching all the stuff for Mom. And looks like Monday morning will be spent rescheduling doctor app'ts.
I'm becoming more and more convinced something has to change in the caregiving situation. She set off the med-alert by accident twice, rolling over on it in bed, so has decided not to wear it when she's in bed (which is most of the time the past week), but admits she forgets to put it on when she gets up to go to the bathroom or get something to eat. This is not good for my peace of mind, as you can imagine, since she constantly complains about dizziness and pressure in her head from the sinus stuff.
Bro is in PA for an early Thanksgiving weekend with m-i-l, since she'll be spending the holidays with her nephews. Invited them down here, since they've taken the week off, but he has a hunting trip scheduled for Wednesday and, besides, that's too much time on the road. He'll be in PA for Christmas. I'm dropping expectations, but still experiencing disappointment and frustrations, so bear with me a bit until I work through this. Deb is incommunicado -- she had to have Charley put down yesterday and, while I've not yet received the email, she did call Mom to let her know she was going to let us (sibs) all know via a msg and also that she won't be answering the telephone until she feels ready to talk to folks. I know this is an incredibly difficult time for her, as losing Charley is like losing a part of Paul (deceased husband) and she has no one in Phoenix. Some prayers her direction would be appreciated.
And now, I think I'll have a glass of wine to go with my whine and trust that next week will be more positive. I thank goodness for being able to get to the pool and to LD, because without exercise and meditation and some positive socialization, I figure my anxiety and stress would be off the charts, given the panic disorder. I am so fortunate to have those options and opportunities, which so many don't have. Plus, I've five quarts of meat mix in the crock pot, which makes sloppy joes for supper and at least a couple months worth of spaghetti sauce and lasagna sauce. At some point, there will be time for billable hours. All in all, life is good, if we can just get Mom on her feet again, and I have a lot to be thankful for, including all the folks here.
Hope the rest of you have had a good week and are looking forward to Thanksgiving with folks you love and who can share your gratitudes.
Bill, I have no idea why the comment posted twice -- the first time it said it couldn't be processed. Can you remove the duplicate?
Hi Pat
I'm also pleased that your mom continues to be calm in the evening. You really should be commended for thinking about the change in the medication schedule for her.
The waitresses were younger than those that hang around the produce section.
Bill
Hi Dr
Don't worry about the double posts. I get an email every time someone posts so if you post the same thing twice I get two emails and then I go to the blog and delete the duplicate. It happens all the time to me, you just don't see it!
Yes we are going to meet with the cargiver after Thanksgiving and tell he she has to have all her stuff out by 1-1-09. We will give her weeks pay and pay for one months storage of her stuff. More than anyone else would do for her.
Sorry about your roller coaster week but it does seem to come with the caregiving.
Ouch that you mom isn't much better makes you wonder if they didn't make a wrong call. Maybe an emergency room visit is in the making?
I'm glad you are least made it to the pool a couple of times and the line dance class.
Just a not about the b.p. machines you are supposed to take your blood pressure at least once a day and three times with the machine to get an average. Take it once with the machine. Wait sixty seconds and take it again. I found the machines that go around your writs to be either.
I hate that your sibs don't respond, they really are clueless.
I'm proud of you for taking action and assembling the information you need for the eldercare attorney. Your mom (your siblings) are damn lucky to have you.
The med alert thing didn't work for my mom either. She either never used it, set it off by accident, or forgot it was there.
I'm so sorry that Deb had to put down Charlie, that is so difficult.
She has my prayers.
No more talk about whining. It is no longer allowed on this blog. Telling us what is going on with you is not whining at all. Plus you have had almost more than any one person can handle..
Thanksgiving is just going to be four of us. Mom, Mom's friend, Mom's friend's husband, and moi.
Bill
Hi Pat
I forgot to thank you for offering to be a reference. You would be a great one!
Bill
Nothing new here, except that mum called on Friday night to say that she saw a newspaper ad about set of pans on sale at a particular store and was dithering about getting it. She really wanted only one 24 inch frying pan because she found that the now-sacked maid had used a metal spatula on it and scratched the Teflon. She was just dithering about whether she needed the rest of the pans that came with the set. So are you going anywhere near that store anytime soon, she asked. I wasn't. But that was the wrong answer. She obviously wanted me to get it for her.
When I looked at the ad, I realised that there were only 100 sets at the discount price. I knew all 100 sets would have gone by the time I got to the store, so I decided not to go to that store, which would have involved taking a train downtown on a Saturday during peak hours. Instead, I went to a nearby suburban mall where I could walk to, and got a sturdy top-range Tefal pan from there instead.
My husband will deliver it tomorrow. We're steeling ourselves for "but this wasn't the pan/wasn't from the shop". He has more patience with her than I do. I don't know if it's because he has less baggage with her -- he didn't live with her when he was a teenager springs to mind -- do you marrieds ever feel that your spouse has a more forgiving relationship with a parent that you've had a hard time with?
Hope everyone had a good week. Happy Thanksgiving.
Mostly for DR: Another note about the BP monitors. I have a wrist one, and I took it with me to the doc's once to compare it to what they get with the professional arm ones. Turns out mine reads low, as I had suspected. The doc said the around-the-upper-arm ones are much better. Since my BP isn't in a dangerous range, I haven't replaced the wrist one, just remained aware that it reads low.
Whatever you're using, it might be a good idea to take it along on a doc visit to doublecheck how it's reading compared to his.
Bill: You're welcome about the reference. Any time you want one, it's yours.
Hi Snug
I love what you did and I would have done the same thing!
Your husband really sounds like a decent guy.
My brother in law does do better with my mom then my sister does.
Thanks for posting and HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU TOO!
Bill
Snug, sorry to hear about the "pot" situation with your mom. I think, if they're not out and about themselves and don't have a lot to do, they have no idea the time involved in some of the errands they want run. Glad your hubby gets on well with her and can smooth the road a bit.
Bill, hope all goes well with the meeting with the caregiver and the decision to replace her. I suspect it's not easy.
Am going to watch her closely for a couple days and keep up the b/p readings. If she's not better by Tuesday, I'm going to call the doc and see if I should take her to ER. She said she thought she was a bit better today. Took your suggestion on doing three readings and they were all mid-nineties over mid-fifties, so daily readings will continue.
Mom's actually pretty good about the med-alert thing, partly because of the falls she had, I think. She was just kinda worried about the two false alarms, but has promised to put it on whenever she leaves the bed and had it on today.
Thanks for the prayers for Deb. I just wish she wasn't dealing with this all alone, so far away from family and friends.
Pat, thanks for the info on the b/p monitors you've used. From what you all have said, sounds like trying to match it up or compare it to one in a doc's office is a good idea.
Hi Pat
A lot of the wrist bp machines aren't really good but I've found the Omnon brand to be great. Like you I took mine to the doctor to test it and it was right on. The thing that I like about it is that it will automatically calculate the average of the last three times that you have taken the b.p.
Bill
Hi DR
Please keep us up to date on how your mom is doing. I hope she gets better each day so you don't have the stress of the e.r. but if she doesn't get better I wouldn't hesitate to take her to the e.r. It could be what they call the Nora virus which if it is means that you are exposed too.
Dealing with stuff alone is hard but some of us prefer to deal with things alone maybe Deb also falls into that category.
Bill
Not a lot to report here either. I snitched another picture of Lauren and her tummy shows more on this one. My job may be asking me to stay on instead of being a temp which is good. My next class starts on the 25th and I'm so not ready for it. Other than that, same old stuff, different day.
Wow Symply
A new job and a new class starting that sounds like a lot to report ot me!
Good luck on both!
Bill
Hey, Symply, Good News on the job and the class. You'll do fine at both, I'm betting.
Bill, am currently doing three readings a day, to get an average. Her systolic is up where it belongs, the dystolic coming up into the sixties today, so I'm hoping we're headed the right direction and the infection is what's causing the lower than normal readings. Not sure just yet how much better she's feeling, but she sounds better.
What the heck is the Nora virus?
Hi DR
It sounds like your mom is headed in the right direction! Good.
Nora virus is short for the Norwalk virus, it is quite common among the elderly and in assisted living homes. It is contagious and spreads fast. Stomach flu in addition to the runs and causes dizziness. You can't do anything until two days after the dizziness. Average is five days before being well.
Bill
Thanks, Bill. I did check the web, after posting the message. Not at all what Mom has. No stomach or intestinal problems, thank goodness. "Just" exhausted and terrible cough and sinus issues.
Hi DR
I hope your mom is improving even more than she was yesterday!
Bill
again... sorry for the delayed post :) But, about the medical alert. I tell my Mom that I would rather her wear it all the time and accidently set it off, than not have it on and need it, which has happened. When she accidently sets off the alarm, they come on the speaker and ask what she needs. She just needs to tell them she's ok. They will ask her to verify that 3 times, then they go away. Does the service you use work that way, where there is a main speaker/alarm unit? If so, that's what it's for. Better a false alarm, than none when needed most.
Hi Kaye
So nice to see you again admist your mom, your job, your party planning, your jewelry business. So little to do.
The one my mom had didn't have a speaker they called on the phone when it went off. They also called once a month to test it.
And your right better a false alarm than not to have it when you need it.
Bill
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