My Mom spent the night alone last night. First time since she was married. She has been very frightened to try to spend the night alone. What if she falls? What if someone breaks in? And so the list goes on. Last night she decided to try it and she did extremely well with it. Sis lives three doors down so she could have been there in a minute. I could have been there in five to seven minutes depending on traffic. Sis stayed with her until eight thirty last night. I got there a little after five this morning.
I really had a hard time with it. I was more scared than Mom. What if she got so scared that she had a heart attack? Since it was my idea that she try it I would have lived out my life in excessive guilt. Plus it was like sending a kid of to college. You know if they do something they will feel free and gain confidence but you are worried sick about them. I bet I got up four our five times last night and almost went into Mom's. But I didn't. I bit the bullet. When I got there this morning Mom was sound asleep. Snore city. Where last night I slept like a baby, up every two hours. I put out her breakfast, fixed my own breakfast, and read the morning newspapers until she woke up. She didn't get up until almost seven which is really late for her. She was smiling the whole time. She didn't get scared once. She didn't have any pain like she normally does. And it was obvious she had a new confidence. To say I am damn proud of her would be an understatement. And I told her that. She said one of the reasons she was able to spend the night alone was that I gave the confidence to do it. Looks like I am better at giving other people confidence than I am at giving myself confidence. I mean now if a woman Mom's age can overcome a huge fear like that then this wuss here is going to have overcome some of his fears! Damn.
This does open a lot of new avenues for Mom but it also opens a lot of new avenues for me. Maybe I can have that life I've been missing.
Now the good story for the day:
http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/12/28/dallas-airplane-proposal-john-kilpatrick-erin/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lemondrop.com%2F2009%2F12%2F28%2Fdallas-airplane-proposal-john-kilpatrick-erin%2F
What are you better at? Giving confidence to others or giving confidence to yourself?
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4 comments:
Your mom hadn't spent the night alone since she was MARRIED??? I am amazed. And delighted that she did so well. For both of you. I do hope she doesn't have second thoughts... you must keep praising her and keep that confidence up.
I'm pretty confident in general, though there are lots of areas where my confidence droops or disappears. Do I give confidence to others? I don't know. Probably not, though I think I managed to instill a lot in my daughter as she was growing up, and that's the most important.
Hi Pat
I'm not sure she ever spent a night alone. When she was young and tell she went to college she took care of her bedridden dad. When she went to college she had a roommate. Then she got married and during their first thirty years of marriage somebody lived with them, not to mention us kids, and then later her mom lived with them. I actually think this is the first time in her life she was alone at night.
Judging by how your daughter turned out I would say you are pretty darn good at giving people confidence.
Bill
Neat feel good story, Bill.
Kudos to your mom and to you for her night spent alone. What a huge accomplishment for someone her age who's never been alone at night before. I'll bet she was on top of the world this morning, knowing she did and slept well and had no problems.
I have a lot of areas where I'm short on confidence, although I can put up a good front, if needed. I think I inspire confidence in others, simply by acting as if I believe they can do (whatever). I base that on the folks who were in my stress mgt classes and came up to tell me how they'd learned they could draw boundaries and deal with their kids or siblings in a way advantageous to themselves and on the people in aquacize who were afraid of the water and came to enjoy it or who thought they couldn't do physical activities and are now doing much more than they used to even think possible. I've clients who started out thinking they couldn't write a decent book and are now submitting to agents and have the confidence to accept a rejection and continue on to sell to someone else. Most important, they feel good about their writing. I guess the next step is to figure out what I tell them and talk to myself the same way (wry s).
Hi DR
What I liked about the feel good story is the airline employees all got in on it!
I'm really proud of Mom. She was on top of the world! Still this evening despite the three inches of snow now on the ground.
I have no doubt you inspire confidence in others! When you figure out how to talk to yourself let me know the secret!!
Bill
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