History

Things are winding down here and I had a really nice holiday. The good is that I really enjoyed meeting my Salt Lake City niece's husband, Ty. He is really a nice guy and it was fun connecting with him. He did tell my sister that this was the best Christmas that he has had in a while. I also enjoyed seeing my Salt Lake City niece. We had a nice talk about writing and life in general. It was also good to see my brother for the first time in a while. We had a nice breakfast watching sports and a nice game of scrabble with Mom. Plus he was part of the Christmas Eve celebration.

My gifts went over well. I bought Mom this really cute Navy blue pajama set. Solid Navy blue top and Navy blue bottoms with a white flower design. Both my sister and niece thought they were really, really cute. They were surprised by my taste! Also it is a tradition in our family that I buy funny cards for everyone. And I try to fit them to the personality receiving them. As an example I will use the one I gave Ty. It shows a guy from the back with shorts on above the cheeks and a hairy derriere. You open it up and it says "see, there are some things more frightening then spending Christmas with relatives." Everyone loved the cards.

We also had some nice dinners. Ham with the trimmings on Christmas Eve. Pot roast with the trimmings last night. In addition last night there was some private time with my brother-in-law and Ty.

The one disappointment of the celebration was on Christmas Eve. I failed to bite my tongue. In order to understand why, you need the history. My brother and his wife started dating in high school. He was elected Joe High School, she was elected Betty Coed. Basically the two most popular people in high school. I was a nobody, not popular, didn't care, didn't want to be. In their behalf despite a lot of bad times they are still married and they raised three pretty damn good kids. The oldest got 98% on his SAT and is a nuclear physicist. The second oldest is an attorney but has taken a break from practicing so she can raise her three children. The youngest was an All American basketball player and for two years captain of the Nebraska University's women's basketball. She is a pharmacist and now in charge of a pharmacy inside a large grocery chain. That is the good. Now the bad. It started in the halls of the high school when I was constantly made fun of and in the city when her and her mom spread rumors about me being not college material. I was quiet and different not dumb. They got married the day after they graduated from high school. The abuse continued when they went off for college. One weekend I visited them. My brother and I went on a walk and came back. She locked us out. When I had the accident I didn't get letters of support during my recovery, I got poison pen letters telling me how awful I was and even once told not to contact them. For a number of years I saved the letters and left them to her in my will. Eventually though I got over them and destroyed the letters. During their marriage she has done things like go after my brother with a large kitchen knife. Called my mom several times calling her the b word among other things because of the horrible sons that she had raised. She has sent my mom poison pen letters. Isolated my brother from his family. One of the things about being married so young as there becomes a point when one or both parties miss not having a single life. One did in this marriage. A young good looking successful attorney attracts a lot of women. Bro wasn't good at fighting temptation. I was the one at fault, I corrupted my brother according to the other part of the marriage. Truth is I was the one telling my brother he was leading the wrong life and marriage and family were more important. They eventually worked through that, he got his priorities straight and their marriage survived. Later brother had a stressful case that turned him off to not only the law but to Portland. He needed a new start, he gave up his law license to become a hunting and fishing guide in Wyoming. In the outfitting business the busiest weekend of the year is Labor Day weekend. They had been in Wyoming maybe eight years at the time. Brother came home from taking out a group on a hunting and sightseeing trip. Opened the door to his house and everything was gone. She not only left him. She left him without anything. All the bank accounts drained. All the furniture gone. All the food gone. Neither my brother and I are perfect and maybe she had good reasons to leave him. My problem is how it was done. Brother called my immediately. This is the one time where I really blew it. He was in tears. I thought he needed to know someone was on his side. The conversation basically went like this. "She left me." "Good I didn't like the bitch anyhow." OK, truer words were never spoken. However, had I known they would be back together three weeks later I might of said something different. And when they were back together she was told what I said. I'm sure you can see how that would make her love me even more.

Fast forward to this year. Wednesday night the group met at Mom's house to see the Utah niece that none of us have seen for a very long time. I was the last one there. My sister and her husband appreciate me and are thankful for everything I do. When I do tax returns for relatives I don't charge them. Yet sis and brother-in-law always pay me anyway. As does Mom. Wednesday evening I came in on a conversation where brother-in-law was telling the sister-in-law that I really saved them a lot of money by doing their returns. Sister-in-law responded, well he isn't that good because he got the address wrong on our return one year. I bit my tongue. I wanted to say that why don't you tell them the rest of it, that I didn't charge you that year or the twenty years before that or the ten years after that. Or why don't you tell them you told me if I would come to Wyoming and straighten out your books you would pay for the trip, I did and you didn't.

Next night was game night. It is just a game. Catch Phrase. Fun game. You sit in a circle. Odds on one team, Evens on the other. You have a timer built into the circular game piece. The time starts and the person holding the game piece gives clues. Team guesses word. Game piece is handed to the next person. More clues. If you get caught holding the game piece when the buzzer goes off your team losses that round. I'd never cheat. I might push the rules to the limit but I'd never cheat. Game starts, first round "Don't let Bill see the word." Second round, "Don't let Bill see the word." Third round, "Don't let Bill see the word." That did it. I looked right at her and said "Get off my case." The rest of the night was better. My name wasn't mentioned by her the rest of the night. Peace. I know it is just a game and the better part of valor would have had me keep my mouth shut. I didn't. I am not disappointed I didn't.

Do you have a relative that you would just as soon not spend time with? What about if you get thrown in with them at a gathering, do you keep your mouth shut for the betterment of the evening? Did I do the right thing? Should I have just bit my tongue? Should I apologize to anyone?