Before today's post wanted to let you know that I heard from Kaye: "Please send my hugs and thank you's to Donna..., Tell Lady DR I can feel her hugs, and thank you...
To Mary Z.... Thank you, I needed those :). Memorial services will be Friday @ 10:00 am. The announcement for Lillian Hutchison will be in the Austin American Statesman, Georgetown Sun and Houston Chronicle on Wednesday, 2/3/10. I'll send you a link then." My prayers and good thoughts are still with her and her family.
Just a couple of interesting articles about studies that I find conflicting. Here is the first article:
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/02/01/is-we-the-key-to-a-happy-marriage/?icid=main|htmlws-sb-n|dl5|link6|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lemondrop.com%2F2010%2F02%2F01%2Fis-we-the-key-to-a-happy-marriage%2F
Could a happy marriage be that simple? According to the article couples that use "we" and "our" in their conversations instead of "I" are happy and have a better chance having a successful marriage. Also according to the article the we and our group solved disagreements easier and were closer and happier than the I folks. The author of the article finds that quite annoying. This brings up some questions. In your circle of friends do the we and our couples seem happier to you? For the married folks what camp are you in? We or I? Do you agree with the author of the article and find the we people annoying? Are couples that dress alike just as annoying?
I couldn't help but relate the above article to another article that I found. This article concludes that grumpy folks are more evolved than happy folks. Does this mean happily married couples that use we and our are not evolved? You can read the pro grumpy article here:
http://www.asylum.com/2010/02/01/grumpy-people-may-be-more-evolved/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl8|link5|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F02%2F01%2Fgrumpy-people-may-be-more-evolved%2F
Do you agree? Do grumpy folks appear more intelligent than us happy ones? After reading the above two articles did you envision a couple skipping down the street singing "we are grumpy"? Inquiring minds want to know.
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4 comments:
I'm going to have to pay more attention to who says "I" and who says "we". "We" doesn't annoy me because I've never noticed which pronoun people used. When I was married, I suspect I used them about 50/50, depending on what I was talking about.
Grumpy people can sometimes be more interesting than happy people, but I wouldn't say they are generally more evolved. What I would say is that cheerfulness and grumpiness are both a bit contagious, so it's probably good to keep both kinds of people as contacts, with maybe an emphasis on the cheerful ones.
I'll be holding special thoughts for Kaye and her family in the morning.
Interesting articles. Like Pat, I don't pay a lot of attention to the pronouns people use, I guess. As for us, I'd also agree on the split in usage. "We" don't do water aerobics or radio repair or editorial, but "we" enjoy RVing, doing garage sale forays, doing other things together and have "our" house and dogs and so forth. (Unless, of course, a dog messes up and then it's "YOUR" dog did thus and such, won't stop barking, whatever)
As to grumpy people being more involved... I learned more about chimps and bonobos that I ever wanted to know, working on Bob's books.
Grumpy people don't seem more evolved to me, I'm afraid. More prone to focus on what's wrong, but not to look for solutions. Happy people tend to look for ways to make things better. And, quite frankly, I've reached a point where I tend to try to avoid the perpetually grumpy types and gravitate toward those who have a smile. We all have our ups and downs, we all need to vent on occasion, we all need support and "there-theres" at times, but those who can find nothing right with the world are downers. As Pat says, both are contagious and I'd rather "catch" happy.
Hi Pat
What I noticed more than the pronoun married couples used when they came into get their taxes done was how they treated each other not the pronoun they used. I was a pretty good predictor of failure. Usually when the put down the other in front of me, it usually drove me nuts.
I agree with you happiness and cheerfulness is contagious.
Bill
Hi DR
I would think in an normal marriage you would split the pronoun several times. After your comment I remember my parents did split the pronouns a lot they seemed to use our more than we and us more than I but there were there moments when "I made a great sale today at the store" or "Do yiou know what your son did today?"
I forgot about Bob's project! I bet you have had youyr fill of monkeying around!
I wonder if there is a difference between being negative and being grumpy? Negative people I stay away from, grumpy people I just kind of try to understand.
And I would prefer spending my time with happy people!!
Bill
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