The day she left the day ended with a 911 call. Sort of an ironic end to the day that the visit ended. The 911 call has nothing to do with Laura or my health. I was out for my evening walk when a car pulled over and a woman rolled down the window and told me that she shouldn't coudn't breath or swallow and asked what she should do. After checking her blood pressure I called 911. She had just taken some medication and was having a reaction to it. I'd never met this lady before, didn't know anything about her, and don't understand why I was the chosen one by her since there were others around. Maybe it is the target on my forehead. I found out in my call to 911 that she is 76, had a history of drug reactions, heart trouble, and was diabetic. In another ironic twist a police officer pulled over a car right in front of us for a traffic violation. I went and got one of the officers that came back and helped. The paramedics arrived in about ten minutes. They gave her something that brought her back to normal and then let her drive off. Just like the lady visiting here that never bothered once to say thank you the lady in the car didn't say thank you either. What a reminder to me that I was glad the visitor was gone. The police officer, bless his heart, did say to me "we need citizens like you. thank you."
Thursday after sleeping all day Laura/Kate called and wanted to join Mom and I for dinner. The three of us went out and had a nice dinner. After taking Mom home, Kate/Laura and I had a nice talk during which it was decided that since she wasn't really feeling well and since there really wasn't going to be a long term relationship between us it was really better for her to go home. I changed her reservations so that she could leave Thursday morning instead of Sunday.
Friday morning Laura/Kate and I went to breakfast then I took her to the airport. Helped her with her luggage, said good-bye, and then breathed a sigh of relief.
I'm actually glad that I had Kate/Laura come for a visit because it answered another question from the past, confirmed to me that the healthly plan that I am on is the right path, and helped me define what I need in the future. Plus I didn't have to roller skate.
I always wondered if ending the one long term relationship that I had in my life was the right decision back then when I made it. This visit confirmed that I made the right decision. As to defining what I need in the future, is that I need someone younger. Not age younger. Age is just a number. Younger in spirit. Willing to be active. Willing to do things. Willing to learn new things.
I also decided that there will be no contact my direction towards Kate/Laura. This is truly the end. She has already called twice, which I didn't answer or return. Harsh yes, but it is just better for both of us if we move on to explore other options.
Hope this day is a great one for all of you and that yesterday's celebrations were fun for all of you and your loved ones.
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16 comments:
We've always laughingly said that everything is a "learning experience". And I guess that this "visit" was definitely one for both you and your friend. You probably could've answered the first phone call - maybe she was just calling to tell you she arrived home safely. But after that, I agree that you're better off just not answering.
Isn't it amazing how much we learn about ourselves sometimes - especially when we're not looking for it.
Hi Mary
Everything really is a learning experience.
The first phone call was to tell me she was safe, she left a message on my voice mail to that effect.
It certainly is amazing about how much we learn about ourselves and everytime I think I knew who I am something happens that makes me think I am a stranger to myself.
Bill
As Mary Z said, a great learning experience. I sometimes think we have to identify what does't work and what we don't want, before we can understand what we do want. Sounds like Laura/Kate's visit did a bit of that for you. You learned that chronological age and attitude are two totally different issues, in terms of relationships and people in general. I know some 50 year old folks who are "old" and some 80 year olds who are younger than people well below retirement age. I've learned that "age is a state of mind" is more truth than cliche.
Good for you, stepping in to help the woman with the med reaction problem, knowing what to do and thank goodness for the cops being right there. Seems strange she wouldn't have acknowledged your help, but maybe she was befuddled. Random acts of kindness often go unacknowledged, but you know you helped and that's what counts. Writer Debbie Macomber says her wish is to be a blessing to someone each day. Obviously, you were.
Glad both you and Laura/Kate realized the futility of pursuing the relationship. Now, you're free to go on to better things. So long as you know she arrived home safely, you're probably wise to make the cut and ignore the phone calls. (At the risk of sounding religious (grin) I firmly believe that when the time is right, God puts the right person in our lives for what we need at that moment or for the future.
BILL'S IN THE NEWS!!!! ;D Portland, Ore. - Riding a green lawn chair supported by a rainbow array of more than 150 helium-filled party balloons, Bill Dahn took off Saturday in a third bid to fly from central Oregon all the way to Idaho.
Couch kissed his mom and neighbors goodbye, and patted their shivering Chihuahua, Isabella, before his ground crew gave him a push so he could clear surrounding light poles and a coffee cart.
Then, clutching a big mug of coffee, Dahn rose out of the parking lot of his gas station into the bright blue morning sky, cheered by a crowd of spectators.
"If I had the time and money and people, I'd do this every weekend," Dahn said before getting into the chair. "Things just look different from up there. You've moving so slowly. The best thing is the peace, the serenity.
"You can hear a dog bark at 15,000 feet."
"He's crazy," said his mother,. "It's never been a dull moment since I gave birth tohim."
OK here's the real story! lol! BEND, Ore. - Riding a green lawn chair supported by a rainbow array of more than 150 helium-filled party balloons, Kent Couch took off Saturday in a third bid to fly from central Oregon all the way to Idaho.
Couch kissed his wife and kids goodbye, and patted their shivering Chihuahua, Isabella, before his ground crew gave him a push so he could clear surrounding light poles and a coffee cart.
Then, clutching a big mug of coffee, Couch rose out of the parking lot of his gas station into the bright blue morning sky, cheered by a crowd of spectators.
"If I had the time and money and people, I'd do this every weekend," Couch said before getting into the chair. "Things just look different from up there. You've moving so slowly. The best thing is the peace, the serenity.
"You can hear a dog bark at 15,000 feet."
"He's crazy," said his wife, Susan. "It's never been a dull moment since I married him."
Nice to See you DR
Kate/Laura's visit did pretty much define what I didn't want and did help me to define better what I want.
The lady that I helped was really strange so it didn't surprise me that she didn't acknowledge me. For instance, she kept honking her horn and I couldnt hear what 911 was saying. I kept asking her to quit that but she wouldn't. Weird lady.
You can sound religious all you want, I am religious too, but when that is all a person talks about it gets really annoying.
I agree that sometimes are meetings are predestined.
Bill
Lisa
Believe it or not Couch is the third guy to go up in a lawnchair. The first one was a man named Larry Walter from Los Angeles and ended up in the flight lines above LA international airport. The second one was also from Bend, Oregon.
And the story couldn't have been me unless I was heavily medicated.
Good to see you here. Hope things are well with you and yours and that you had a great fourth.
Bill
What an ending to your day! I'll agree with the cop that more like you are needed. I'm glad he thanked you, since nobody else seemed to want to this week.
And I'll agree with everybody else that the visit was probably a good learning experience and a signal that it's time to move on. You'll do that better now that you know more about what you're really looking for. Onward, and damn the torpedoes!
Pat
As you can see in my answer to DR the woman was really weird so it isn't surprising that she didn't say thank you. It was surprising that Kate couldn't muster up the two words.
It was a good learning experience.
And I am already moving on.
Bill
Well the traffic cop was right, for sure! As to the visit - well as folk have said it was a learning experience and valuable for that if nothing else.
Hi Sian
Hope your doing well and Fritzi is improving.
It definitely was a learning experience.
Bill
You ARE on the right path, Bill. You're facing some old demons, confronting some past decisions where you wonder if you had done the right thing. Look at what you're finding! Affirmation! Your instict is solid, your little inner voice is guiding you in the right direction. Keep going! There are good things ahead for you. Maybe not as soon as you would like them, but you know they will come to you when the time is just right.
Fondly,
K
Hello there mentor Kaye
Yes, one of my goals for the year that I made on New Year's Day was to clean up the emotional decisions from the past so it would put me in a better position to have someone in my life. I've pretty much cleaned up the past now.
Wow, how did you know how impatient I am. I want everthing to happen yesterday.
Also fondly
Bill
just posting a comment so there are 13 responses.
Bill
I am playing a bit of catch up on your visit with Laura/Kate.
What patience you had to have had to get through all that. I mean with the hot dogs, the lack of energy, the napping all day, not to mention the name change? Gee, I do think also you are better off. I wouldn't answer the phone either. But I wonder, with the little energy she had, how could she have gone roller skating? I guess only after a movie theater hot dog? :)
Hope you enjoy your golf clubs.
My dad golfs every day but Sunday and he is 82, evidently it is something to enjoy.
Hi Dona
Always good to see you here. Been following your blog.
I the skating was a pipe dream for Kate and she never really intened to go. That was the one part of the trip that did't bother me, no skating.
I used to golf a lot and was actually very good at it. I lost the skill when I didn't have the time to golf taking care of dad and a business. I'm hoping I can be good again.
Very cute pictures on your blog by the way!
Bill
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