Long time readers and followers will know what this is an excerpt of, if new readers or confused readers of the blog want to know about this post email me at williamjdahn@aol.com. D.R. this one of those middle things I was talking about as being boring.
CHAPTER 4
March 30, 1990
Visions a gentlemen’s club on N.E. 72nd and Sandy. Gentlemen’s club is just a fancy name for a strip bar. Friday night a busy night as the single men that can’t get a date, the married men wanting to cheat on their wives, and the bachelor party group celebrating one of their friend’s last day of singlehood all there to throw money at the scantily and sometimes no clad women. A young women maybe barely eighteen gyrating around the pole at the center of the stage enticing the lonely men to throw their dollar and five dollar bills at her. In the back corner of the bar a group of five men were engaged in a conversation that was barely audible competing with the music. The five men preferred it that way because they didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing them. Officer Westbrook, Officer O'Donnell, Officer Ryan Frazier, Officer Dylan Grafton, and city attorney Ted Vernon.
O’Donnell “I delivered the goods last night and put the ten grand in the safe.”
Frazier, 6’4”, 200lbs buff, strong, blue eyes, sandy colored hair, a decorated war hero, on the force for ten years.
“Good. We need to keep the drugs in the gang areas and the wars going. We need to keep the Gang Enforcement Team going. It is our home to fight our war.”
Grafton, late thirties, out of shape, black hair, green eyes, 5’11”, 240, on the force for fifteen years.
“Power to The People”
“Power to The People” they all said in unison.
“I heard Ms. Lane went to see an attorney, a high profile attorney.” Westbrook said.
“Do we need to be concerned Ted?”
Vernon responded “The attorney is well respected and will not hesitate to file a wrongful death lawsuit if he thinks something is remiss.”
Grafton “We need to monitor him or scare him off early on.”
Vernon “What are you suggesting.”
Grafton “A threat. We find out when he is the most vulnerable and then have one of the boys politely talk to him.”
Westbrook “We can start the investigation tomorrow “
They all got up shook hands and left Visions to go to their nightly jobs protecting the city.
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6 comments:
Boring? A cop/lawyer conspiracy involving threatening another lawyer to get him to ignore a possible wrongful death? With "ten grand" for some "goods" in the safe?
Not boring.
Boring? I think not. Give me more!
K
Hi Pat
Thank you for the compliment. I just don't think it is my best writing, which I think are the last two chapters which I am anxious to share but it would ruin the story for everyone so I am holding off.
By they way meet Kaye that posted below you. She takes care of her mom too. Seems like a lot of us do.
Bill
Hi There Kaye
Thanks for the nice compliment, it motivates me to write more!
Bill
Boring this is not, my friend. As Pat says, cops and lawyer in a strip joint, cutting a deal and talking bribes? Got my attention.
I think the reason you don't like it is because you can "see" the scene, the setting, the cops, hear their tones of voice, but you haven't yet fleshed it out to share with the reader. Once you do that, on your second pass, I suspect you'll find it's not boring at all!
Hi Dr
Thanks for your encouragement. I guess I think it is boring because there are so many players in the game and introducting them is sometimes tedious writing.
When the main attorney is assembling the team for the lawsuit I tried to make it interesting by him flashing back to the last time he saw the woman he wants to hire. A woman he once loved but couldn't marry because they were from different parts of society. Can he swallow his pride and hire her now? She is the perfect person for this case.
Bill
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