I received this email from DR last night: "Please thank everyone for their prayers. Just talked to Deb, who'd talked to Lake, but hadn't called because she thought it might be too late. Surgery went fine, no surprises, Alice is doing well, Lake stayed at the hospital until about 10:00 and headed home to get some sleep and return in the morning. We'll probably know more tomorrow or the next day, but please thank everyone and let them know the surgery went well and Alice is doing well." Keep us updated, DR!
I am recharging my batteries each day with the new found freedom. I am feeling a little emotionally attached and I guess that is normal. I crashed this morning. I got up, read the morning newspaper. Then I sat down and with most of the emotional weight I've been caring for so many years off I crashed. Just didn't feel like doing anything. Before when Sis was here I knew it was temporary and that the stress would return within a week. I'm sure there will still me stress but it won't be daily or hourly as it sometimes was. That relief made me just not want to do anything but sit and think about possibilities. Which I did for most of the morning.
Now a news story that I find quite disturbing. The Grinch may be stealing part of Christmas:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091119/ap_on_re_us/us_santa_s_mail_canceled;_ylt=Aly6Y9Iy1DBkgP5qkUjq8LGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNiYWwwZ2IwBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkxMTE5L3VzX3NhbnRhX3NfbWFpbF9jYW5jZWxlZARjcG9zAzEwBHBvcwM3BHB0A2hvbWVfY29rZQRzZWMDeW5faGVhZGxpbmVfbGlzdARzbGsDZ3JpbmNobm9ydGhw
Have you ever been in stressful situation that when it was over with, you lost your energy and crashed? Where you melted into a glob of human matter just taking up space? And does the above story make you want to try to talk some sense into the idiots in charge, so that a Christmas tradition will continue?
TODAY'S WHO AM I?
Yesterday's answer: Christine Quintasket
I am best known for my Depression-era work for the Farm Security Administration
I was born in 1895 and died of esophageal cancer at age 70. I developed polio at age 7. Like many other polio victims, before treatment was available, I emerged with a weakened right leg and a permanent limp. When I was 12 my father abandoned mother and I. I was educated in my expertise in a class taught by Clarence H. White. I was informally apprenticed to several New York studios. I later moved to San Francisco and shortly opened a successful studio. I married a painter in 1920. We had two sons. When the Great Depression came, I quit working inside and went outside to do some very famous works. My studies of unemployed and homeless people led to my employment with the federal Resettlement Administration (RA), later called the Farm Security Administration (FSA). I divorced in 1935 and remarried a professor. Together with my new husband we documented rural poverty and the exploitation of sharecroppers and migrant laborers. My best known work is called Migrant Mother. In 1941, I was awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship for excellence. After the attack on Pearl Harbor, I gave up the prestigious award to record the forced evacuation of Japanese Americans to relocation camps. To many observers, my image of Japanese-American children pledging allegiance to the flag shortly before they were sent to internment camps is a haunting reminder of this policy of detaining people without charging them with any crime or affording them any appeal. I was inducted into The California Hall Of Fame in 2008. Who Am I?
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7 comments:
First the letter from Santa issue - I think it's a shame there's a possibility children may not be receiving responses because of one incident, outside North Pole. (Bearing in mind, I may not be objective, having lived in AK almost ten years). It also seems it would be easier to screen volunteer applicants through the federal pedophile data base than to require post offices to meet requirements they may not be able to afford or maintain. Based on the article, it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction to an isolated incident.
New message for response to stress meltdown question -- won't let me post together, as message is too long.
Your question about reduction in stress and meltdown. If my experience and those of folks who talked with me is anything to go by, your reaction is very normal. While I didn't believe it, it continues for several months or so. I should say, it comes and goes. One day you feel like you did today. One day, you realize you can move mountains and slay dragons of your own choosing, things that have piled up or been neglected and you go forth and do so. The next day/week, you realize you don't have to do (whatever things took up huge chunks of your time) and you melt into a blob again, just because there's nothing you HAVE to do that day. Or you wonder if Sis is taking proper care of Mom or if Mom is having second thoughts or whatever. Again, acquaiantances who've been through this and even a couple professionals who've observed, assured me this is all pretty normal.
It's like your body and mind recognize you don't have to handle everything, don't have to shoulder all the stress and responsibility and they want a chance to relax and recuperate and just be, not doing anything, even things you normally enjoy or things you promised yourself you'd tackle when you had the time and freedom. Listen to your body/mind. You/they are, in some ways, in a period of recovery and recuperation. They want to be taken care of and pampered. There were days when I wrote for a couple hours in my morning pages, just exploring my thoughts and feelings and then moving to options and possibilities. Then looking at what I was doing -- outside of taking care of Mom --and did I really want to continue doing those things. There were days when I said to heck with the world and to do list and all and just settled in with a good book and thoroughly indulged myself. There were other days I cleaned or decluttered like a woman possessed. All this is, I think, a good thing. Your time has been proscribed (I think that's the word I want) by your mother's wants and needs and your duties and loyalty and love. Freedom is a very heady thing and after years of responsibility and putting yourself last on the list, it's almost scary to realize that's no longer necessary. For five years, Mom was my mission. What was now my purpose in life? While there are still responsibilities, of course, there was also the question of what to do with me, my free time? And there is an adjustment to the reduction of constant stress and responsibility. For me and the others I talked to, it was a gradual transition, with some ups and downs, not an overnight change. We're no longer living on adrenaline at least half the time, waiting for the other shoe to drop, frantically attempting to juggle time and commitments and needs and wants of Mom, family, work and all by ourselves. It's a lifestyle change.
Mom's been gone 3-1/2 months. I'm settling, mostly. Yes, there are still times when I call and they've seen a doctor, but neither Mom or Deb can tell me what the A1C was or what the vision was in the right eye and that still bothers me, although it's not my responsibility and my questions of that nature usually get a defensive response. OTOH, I'm moving forward with projects, but I still find days when I pretty much say, "MY TIME" and let the world go hang. Hey, I didn't have 'My Time" for five-plus years, so maybe I need that same time period to catch up.
This is longer than I meant it to be, but I think you're going through some similar issues I've been dealing with recently and there may be others reading who are or will be looking at similar situations and I really want you to know it's all normal and it's all okay and -- key issue I've learned -- just because you've been going full out and being either helpful or productive or whatever for the last too many years, it's okay to have times when you do nothing but exactly what you want to do and if that's sitting and staring into space, considering options, reading a book, taking a walk and playing on the swings in the park, any of that is okay and positive. Enjoy!
Hi DR
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this message. There is a ton of useful information in your response. You will never know how many people you just helped.
The Santa thing is an over-reaction. One incident in how many years? All they need to do is institute a criminal background check for the people they hire during the holidays. Heck I had to do that for the job I took last year. It doesn't cost that much.
It helps to know someone that has been through it and that it is normal. I'm hopeful it won't continue for several months. I am looking for the time I can accomplish all I want to accomplish in a day.
I am extremely disappointed that they don't know what your mom's A1C is, that is a diabetic's lifeline. Any way you can convince them how important that is? That no doubt would result in a defensive response. I guess it just isn't your responsibility and they will have to deal with the consequences on their own.
I'm glad you are settling in and settling down.
And no your message wasn't to long.
Bill
Yeah, what DR said. {g} In fact, I tend to turn into a blob *during* the stressful situation. Or rather, I blob out during the off times when I'm not actually dealing with the stress. When the stress is gone? Is it ever? Or does it just become another kind of stress? If I find out, I'll let you know.
As to the Santa letters, I found the article confusing, and I don't know what the rules are, at this point. It might be a good idea to redact the address of the kids and have some vetted postal worker(s) do the addressing, whether by computer or otherwise. Or not allowing anyone to answer letters from local kids. Beyond that, it seems that they rather over-reacted, and if the letters no longer get answered, that's a shame, as it's a very nice tradition.
Hi Pat
I think I do that too, handle the stress and then when I am alone blob out.
We all agree, the post office overreacted
Bill
Bill, glad my comments helped. Maybe I need to qualify, particularly since everyone is different. The "blob" thing doesn't last for several months (at least it didn't for me). What I meant was that every once in a while, after I got past the first couple weeks, it would surface -- a day when I said, "What the h*ll, this day is for me." After the first couple weeks, what's happened is periodic days when I've set down with my morning coffee and MPs and said, "Gee, what do I want to do today, since it's my choice!"
As to the A1C and vision analysis, I think both are critical to track, particular with the macular degeneration going wet in both eyes. I want to know if she's at 20/80 or 20/40 and what determines whether she gets an injection or not with the new doc. You're right -- both get defensive reactions. Mom pays no attention -- denial is a wonderful thing -- and Deb apparently doesn't take notes, as I did. She's also good at denial. Mom's A1C has run high the last three years or so, but I want to know if it's a stable high or increasing. Not going to happen, far as I can see, and I can't tell them how to live their lives or deal with doctors and so forth, since Mom's in denial and Deb isn't considering the reports and concerns I've emailed over the years. I repeat to myself the two mantras: Let Go and Let God; observe, accept, don't judge or force. They sound so simple.
Hi Dr
Denial may be a wonderful thing but it can also be a deadly thing.
But there isn't much you can do about it so far away.
Bill
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