It was a really difficult day at work yesterday. Mary, the partner of the firm, found out her Mom had died. I was surprised how serious my reaction was to the news. I kept my composure but I honestly felt like crying after the news. I really don't know Mary that well and have never met her Mom but the news was crushing.
For the past few years when a friend loses someone instead of flowers I've been sending a gift card to a nice restaurant with a little note that memories never die and that they should use the card to take their best friend/sibling/relative out and just talk about what they remember of the person no longer with us. The reaction to that has been very positive, one calling it a creative and thoughtful way to let them know that I care.
I don't think, however, that is appropriate for a boss. That is where you come in. What would be an appropriate way to let my boss that my heart is with her and her family after the loss of her mother?
Your advise will be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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8 comments:
I don't think that would be inappropriate for a boss. However, if you feel like it is, you could ask what charity they support?
Bill, I think the restaurant gift card is an inspired idea. However, I suspect your hesitation stems from not knowing Mary well, in addition to the work situation. CD's idea about a charitable donation to one she supports is a good one. A small plant may be appropriate. On the other hand, most appropriate may be just a hand-written card, expressing your empathy and sympathy, maybe asking if there's anything you can do to make things easier at the office the next few weeks. If you know others at the office well enough, the best solution is perhaps to ask one or some of them, what they feel would be appropriate. It's possible the office may all go together on some expression of sympathy, especially if there are others who have the same hesitation you do. When Walt died, I got individual cards from his co-workers who knew him well and knew me, but the whole bunch at Foodland went together and sent a donation to Hospice. The folks at the bowling alley, where we were acquainted with a number of people, but not close, collected money from patrons who knew one or both of us and did the same. Just a thought.
I'll second DR's thoughts right down the line (sure saves me typing time {g}). Especially I agree that your restaurant card idea is inspired, and I shall steal it at the next opportunity.
Hi Connie
Always a pleasure to see you here. The contributions to her charity is a great idea!
Bill
Hi DR
The reason I came up with the restaurant card idea is flowers are wonderful but they really are for the relative that passed on. The living need our support more than someone no longer here, so I justed decided to do something for the one grieveing instead of the one that passed away.
My hesitation with the card is not wanting to obligate my boss. If there is a situation where she needs to tell me I screwed up, I don't want her to hesitate because I gave her a semi expenseive gift card. Plus I don't want to be viewed as a suckup by my co-workers.
They talked at work today and there is going to be a firm card with all of us signing it and the firm is sending her flowers.
I do think I will get a card of my own in addition to that and leave it go at that.
Bill, I think the restaurant gift card is an inspired idea. However, I suspect your hesitation stems from not knowing Mary well, in addition to the work situation. CD's idea about a charitable donation to one she supports is a good one. A small plant may be appropriate. On the other hand, most appropriate may be just a hand-written card, expressing your empathy and sympathy, maybe asking if there's anything you can do to make things easier at the office the next few weeks. If you know others at the office well enough, the best solution is perhaps to ask one or some of them, what they feel would be appropriate. It's possible the office may all go together on some expression of sympathy, especially if there are others who have the same hesitation you do. When Walt died, I got individual cards from his co-workers who knew him well and knew me, but the whole bunch at Foodland went together and sent a donation to Hospice. The folks at the bowling alley, where we were acquainted with a number of people, but not close, collected money from patrons who knew one or both of us and did the same. Just a thought.
Thanks for your support and comments, the are so right on!
Bill
Hi Pat
I agree, DR's comments were right on.
As to the gift card idea you are welcome to it! Anytime.
Bill
Bill I agree also with the handwritten card. Everything said here I think would be fine.
Hi Dona
Thanks for chiming in!
A handwritten note it is.
Bill
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