Because of something that happened on Facebook I am continuing some of the discussion from yesterday. They were discussing Sandra Bullock on Facebook. For those of you that don't know this year's best actress winner moved out of her home in Los Angeles last week because she found out that her husband had been cheating on her. While she was on location filming The Blind Side, Jesse James was at another location playing around with Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee. One of the guys posted a message about how sorry he was for Sandra. I made the following comment:
"Jesse James is an idiot. Let's see a guy with a couple of tattoos and a reality show with maybe one viewer probably located in Outer Mongolia. He hits the jackpot with a beautiful, talented, funny, wife. He should have been spending everyday of his life giving thanks for his marriage and doing everything in his power to make his wife happy. Dumb bastard."
The next response was from a woman. "I am sure he loves his wife, but boys will be boys."
VENT ALERT!!!
I cannot tell you how much I despise and hate the phrase "boys will be boys." I hate the phrase so much that it is hereby banned from the blog. You can use it in this thread. You can use it today. After today and in another thread any comment that includes the phrase "boys will be boys" will be deleted.
Here is why I hate the phrase:
It gives cheaters a pass. I mean so what I cheated on my wife, I was just doing what I was supposed to, after all boys will be boys.
It intimates that all men cheat which is stereotyping to the max. It is no different than saying all women are emotional. All Italians are mobsters. All blacks, All gays. Stereotyping is wrong in any form and at any time.
It places cheaters on the same level as good honest men that have never or would never cheat on their wives. Shouldn't these honest men be placed on a higher level than men that take the time they should be spending with their wives and children and use it for their own sexual satisfaction? How damn hard can it be to say no. "I appreciate the offer, you are beautiful but I'm married (or involved)?
Isn't it time for women to hold men responsible for their actions instead of giving them a pass with phrases like "boys will be boys."?
I'm done. Your comments will be appreciated.
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8 comments:
Gosh, Bill, why don't you just tell us what you really think?
Seriously, I agree with you. Good for Bullock for moving out and I hope she hangs him by his thumbs. "Boys will be boys" has been around as long as I can remember. It's been used as a pass for everything from cheating husbands to guys getting high school girls pregnant to illegal hot-rodding to vandalism and who knows what else? It basically removes any personal responsibility for actions. I'm all for banning the phrase. At the same time, I think we should ban "girls will be girls," which is a pass for cat fights and some nasty things the female gender does, which are often passed off with a shrug.
I guess my bottom line is that each individual should be held responsible for his/her actions and there should be consequences. I think the fact this doesn't happen maybe the seed of why we had the Enrons and subsequent situations, as one example. Until people are held responsible and until there are "real" consequences, these phrases will continue to be used to excuse behavior that's detrimental to other individuals and to groups as a whole, as you pointed out in your comment about stereotypes.
(Putting away soapbox now)
Oh rodents! I thought those two were a good couple. I'm glad she moved out.
While I'm never surprised to hear such stories, I don't say "boys will be boys". I usually say "men are scum". Unless the cheater is a woman.
Hi DR
I akway love your soap boxes, especially when I agree with them.
I also hope she hangs him by his thumbs. All through the award season she thank him and all the while he was cheating on her. That is a worthless human being in my book.
You are right re the phrase it has been an excuse for bad behaviour as long as I remember. And you hit the nail on the head why it upsets me, it takes away responsibility for one's actions.
OK, girls will be girls is also banned on the blog.
Not only should they be held responsible for their actions they should own up to them.
Bill
Hi Pat
I also thought this was a good marriage. One report said he was tired of being "Mr. Sandra Bullock." It isn't like he didn't know who she was before he married her.
And I would be eternally grateful if you could change that to some men are scumb (g)
Bill
Okay, I use my maiden name for professional purposes, since it was long established before I was ever married. And, okay, once in a while Himself is addressed as "Mr. Pomeroy," (although I try to be very careful to introduce him as my husband, Al Link or Dr. Link. Regardless, despite sometimes being "Mr. Pomeroy," he's never cheated on me, unless he has a very small blond hidden somewhere under the workbench in his shop!
Hi DR
That is because Himself is a good man, the kind we need more of.
If I was married to Bullock I'd be proud to be Mr. Bullock.
Bill
Oh, Bill, it goes without saying that I didn't mean ALL men are scum. Lots of men are decent and honorable. I know you're one, and my husband was also. And many, many others. But you know, sometimes when it's a surprise, you all get tarred with the same brush, at least in the first reactive comment.
Don't worry, we women know there are plenty of good guys out there.
Hi Pat
I knew you didn't mean all men, I was just teasing you a little.
Women do know there are good men out there, I just want them to beat up the ones that aren't.
Bill
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