Lost Loves - The Final Chapter

He remembered how they felt the first time they kissed. He felt like he had been given a gift more precious than the finest piece of Cyrstal. So beautiful, yet so fragile. Despite the strength in her beauty he felt an overhwhelming need to proctect the gift he had just been given. It was one of those moments in time frozen on the heart. It was then he knew he had met the woman that he wanted to share his life with.

As their relationship grew he helped her enroll in college and paid for her tutition. She was studying to be a para-legal. She quit King's. He helped her get a job as a secretary at a law firm. Now it was his birthday. He was going to make the night as special for her as she was sure to make it for him. She had made reservations at Comstock's, the most prestigious and newest restaurant in Century City. A night of dinner and dancing. It was going to be the most important night of his life and he was sure for her too. While she no doubt called ahead and ordered a birthday cake he hadn't called ahead to arrange his moment. He was a private person and he sure in the hell wasn't going to turn a private moment into a public one. The night no doubt was going to cost him at least a week's pay.

They arrived at Comstock's in time for their six o'clock reservations. The place was beautiful. The decor could easily be describe as lusciously romantic. They ate a leisurely dinner, he eating a perfectly cooked Filet Mignon and she the perfectly cooked Lobster Tail. While waiting for desert they decided to try the dance floor. The restaurant was featuring big band music with a lead vocalist professionally spilling out Sinatra tunes. The dance floor was dimly lit under the most incredibly looking chandeliers. He was dressed in a tailored suit with a tie that she had boiught for him. She was dressed in a glamorous tight fitting powder blue evening gown. He held her hand as they walked to the dance floor. When they arrived at the dance floor he bowed and she curtsied. He took her left hand and placed his right hand gently in the middle of her back. They started their waltz, the dance floor was packed, for him as they glided across the floor there was only one person in the room. He looked into her magnetic eyes as she smiled back with love in her eyes. The words of the song just seemed so appropriate:

"With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart."

He whispered, "I love you."

"How did I get so lucky to find a man like you?"

"I'm the lucky one. I'm the envy of every man here."

"You look so handsome in that tie."

Lost in the moment he could barely hear the music but he knew the words. He had thought of that song so many times when they were together.

"There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight."

They continued their in sync dancing oblivious to others on the floor stopping their dances to watch them. He gently kissed her cheek. She gently put her head on his shoulder. The music stopped and the room broke out in applause.

He walked her back to the table. This was the perfect time. After they sat down he took her hand, "I have something I want to ask you."

"Yes?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled at a small box. He opened it and said. "Will you marry me?"

She started to cry. She hugged him. Their embrace seemed to last forever.

"I've waited for this moment since the first day I met you. When you walked into King's looking so lost. I fell in love with you the minute you asked if we served food."

He took out his hankerchief and wipped the tears from her eyes and silently said:

"Is that a yes?

Still sobbing, she took a deep breath. "In my dreams I always said yes but I can't. I can't risk destroying the only man I have and will ever love. I love you to much to say yes."

"Come on beautiful, yes is such an easy word to spit out."

"We are from two different worlds. Before I met you when didh't have enough to eat on I did more than dance to make ends meet. I have no family and you are from the perfect Leave It To Beaver family."

He had always suspected that secret about her past and it didn't make a difference to him. This was just the first time she confessed it to him.

"I don't care. Love overcomes all. We can still learn from each other."

"You are such a romantic but I can't outrun my past. If it ever came out about what I did for money what we know would be destroyed. Your family would be embarassed, they would disown us."

"My family wants what is best for me, they would grow to love you as much as I do,"

"That is a nice thought but I know what the reaction to my past has been and would be. Even if your family accepted me your career wouldn't. You are going to be successful, you are going to be an important part of your community, and if we had kids I know you would be part of their school. If my past came out that world would come crumbling down. The only way to pick up the pieces would be for me to leave you then. It will hurt you less if I leave your now."

She passionately kissed him and then she got up to leave turning to him to speak those dreadful words through the sobs.

"Thank you for the most the two most wonderful years of my life. Know in your heart that I will always love you. It will be easier for both of us if you don't call anymore."

She hurried towards the door. He got up to run after her. At the door she turned around, shaking her head, and he could read her lips as she mouthed, "No! No", disappearing into the night.

He stood there not knowing what to do or where to go. The waitress grabbed his arm "Would you like a drink." He proceeded to get drunk and didn't sober up until he moved to Oregon.

He was startled back to today by those words "you have waited to long to dial, please hang up and try your call again." He hung the phone up and looked at the paper with the number on it that a friend of hers had given him a couple of years ago. He stared at the phone. Could he make the call?

(off to the seminar will respond to messages after five tomorrow, unless they have
Internet hookup at the hotel where the seminar is.)


WHO AM I?

Yesterday's answer was Emma Goldman.

I was an American abolitionist born in 1811 in Connecticut and died there in 1896. I was the daughter of an outspoken religious leader and a deeply religious woman who died when I was four. I was the sister of an educator and author and three clergymen brothers. I enrolled in the seminary run by my eldest sister where I received a traditionally "male" education. At twenty-five I married a professor at the seminary and an ardent critic of slavery. Our family supported the Underground Railroad and housed several fugitive slaves in our home. When Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Law, prohibiting assistance to fugitives I was moved to present my objections on paper. The first installment of my most famous work appeared in the antislavery journal, National Era. Upon meeting me, Abraham Lincoln allegedly remarked, "So you're the little lady who started this great war." After the war I created an integrated school in Mandarin for children and adults. The novel that made me famous had a lot of people crying uncle. Tom would have been so proud. I lived that last of my twenty-three years next to Mark Twain. Who Am I?