Certain things in life bring with them things you enjoy but also take away the time you used to have to do other things you enjoyed. Caring for an elderly parent is a time commitment that takes time from things that you used to do for yourself but also comes with rewards. Starting a new job brings with it several things you enjoy and again takes away time that was once used for other enjoyable things. Going back to work after years at home because your spouse lost a job? Lose a job? After years of self-employment your business tanked causing you to re-enter the job market? Or more a myriad of other reasons your life has changed in such a way that you quit doing things that were good for you? Sometimes the things you enjoy and the things you miss are conflicting. The enjoy and miss list also results in a worry list. Here is a partial list the things I enjoy, the things I miss and the things that worry me.
Things I enjoy:
Spending time with Mom.
Feeling needed.
Feeling wanted
Feeling important to someone.
Co-Workers
Having more money.
Being busy.
Paying bills without taking money out of savings.
Getting up in the morning and having a place to go.
Being reviewed.
Completing work projects.
Learing new things.
Things I miss:
Time to travel
Morning Walks
My pedometer (haven’t had time to buy a new one)
Going to one or two movies a week.
Getting up in the morning and staying home
My annual contact with my own clients.
Being my own boss
Running errands at my leisure
More dinners and lunches with Mom.
The driving range.
Breakfast with Ted and The guys.
Doing things I am familiar with.
Things that worry me:
Aging
Loneliness
My Mom’s health
Finances
My Mom’s memory decline
How good of job I am doing at work.
What the future is going to bring.
Having my life changed by others’ actions.
Feeling trapped.
OK, now it is your turn. In your life right now, what are the things you enjoy? You miss? You worry about?
Hope today will bring you less worries, more enjoyment, and missing fewer thing!
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Ohhhh Am I #1? Cool.
Ok here goes
Things I enjoy:
Laughing
Privacy
Feeling wanted,needed (I think we all enjoy that)
Cleaning
Shopping
Walking
Swimming
Staying busy
Things I miss:
Privacy
My Pool
My Home
Working
Privacy
Alone time
Vacations
My Mother
My Best Friend
Being on My Own Schedule
Being Me
Privacy
Things that worry me:
Aging
Finances (or lack of)
Feeling Trapped in a bad situation with no escape
Never having Privacy Again
Having to deal with the same thing another day
Dad getting a debilitating disease
I will repeat my Mother's health
This house is making me sick
There you go Bill, You asked for it.
Not a great list. Just on the top of my head. Now that I read it, it all sounds really pathetic. I think I need to get out more...:)
Thanks for letting me share.
Hi Dona!
Great list and it doesn't sound pathetic it sounds normal for someone caring for parents, did you notice how many of the things on your list were also on mine?
I should have added laughing to the things I enjoy.
And I disagree with you, it was a great list! Thanks for being first.
Bill
Things I Enjoy!
Ice Cream
A rainbow
Sitting on the beach
The smell of fresh cut grass
Sleeping in
A good cup of coffee
Being with friends
Candle light dinner
Travel
Taking a long ride
Of course, a sunset
Seeing my grandchildren have fun
Having free time for myself
A great movie - some that will even prompt a good cry
Music
Things I Miss!
Being young
Family
The warmth of the sun
The beach
Missing old friends
Not having to worry about money
Being able to jog/dance
Things I worry about!
The economy and my finances
My car lasting long enough until I can buy a new one
Getting old
Being alone
Getting all my bills paid
There probably more but that's all I can think of right now...enjoy your day.
Good lists. Time to think and reflect. Yes, each new thing seems to mean something else is left behind. Off the top of my head, after a somewhat blah week, that makes me realize I need to make some changes.
Things I Enjoy:
Mornings when I can enjoy a cup of coffee with morning pages, followed by meditation;
Watching the birds at the feeders;
Feeling needed and appreciated;
Being able to help someone in some way, large or small;
Special moments of connection or communication with Himself;
Time with the guitar and music;
Creating with looms or crochet hook or knitting needles;
Helping clients polish their mss.
Things I Miss:
Daily time with the guitar, especially time to play with others;
Time spent in the yard and doing gardens and landscaping;
Spontenaity (sp), because everything has to be planned around doctors and medical issues and so forth;
Being able to take off in the RV at the last minute for a weekend;
Good manuscripts to work with;
Waking in the morning with a feeling of joy and expectation;
Relaxed time with Himself on a regular basis.
Things I Worry About:
Mom and what the future holds for her and how it impacts her and us;
Skeeter's health situation, despite the fact she seems to be doing quite well;
Aging and what that means in terms of health considerations, since we have no children to step in and help;
What the economy may mean to my business and, at the same time, whether I'm burning out on the work I've done for twenty years;
Lack of enthuthiasm and "joie de verve" that I seem to have misplaced in the last few years.
Thanks for the heads up, Bill. Now, to look at the lists, make the most of what I enjoy, figure out how to "fix" the things I miss and those I'm worried about and, if "fixing" isn't possible, learn to accept what is.
I think I'll pass on the list of things I enjoy, because it would be too long. All the usual things, I guess. Sunsets, white clouds, walks on the beach, dinner with friends, reading, tv and movies. Lots of things.
I get most of those things now and then. Well, except for walks on the beach, I haven't done that for a long time now.
Things that worry me? The economy and the general condition of the country and my state; wars and genocides and hunger and disease all over the world; what will happen with my mother and how it will happen. Sometimes I worry about what will happen with me as I get even older.
What do I want? Besides everything getting better for everyone? I want NOT to be responsible for anyone except myself. This is supposed to be my time at last. I never thought that in my 70s, I'd have the equivalent of a helpless child to look after. It's really wearing.
Does that sound whiny? So be it.
Hi Red
I loved your list. Reading everyone's lists reminds of things that I left off.
You and my mom would get along great because you both love ice cream!
I also love candle lit dinners and sunsets and sunrises, especially the sunrises over Mt. Hood in the morning!
It is amazing that a lot of our worries are the same!
Thanks for posting, it is fun getting to more about you!
Bill
Hi DR!
I'm glad my post made you reflect and may lead to changes for the better. That just blows me away.
Your list reminded me of Katie the cat I really miss her and her sitting on my lap while I watch TV or reading the paper!
I'm hoping and praying that Skeeter keeps doing well.
The economy is a huge worry and with the job I can relate to the burn out.
Give Himself a hug, he is a trooper.
Bill
Hi Pat
The words whine, whiny, whinner are heretofore banned from my blog. Sharing and venting are not whiny or whining.
I understand the list about enjoy being to longs because at times I enjoy everything. White clouds is an unusual enjoyment. I will look at them now with a new appreciation.
The country and the economy are the worst I have ever seen it and it is a huge worry. California is close to bankruptcy that is a huge worry.
Eveyone here is worried about getting older maybe we should all move to the same city, start a commune and take care of each other!
I am close to the place you are wanting to be responsible for only me. We both deserve that.
And no it doesn't sound whiny.
Bill
Bill, I agree that lists did make me think of things I enjoy, but sometimes don't stop to take time to appreciate. I agree with a lot of Dona's "enjoy," several items on her "miss" list and I think we all have the "trapped" feeling on her worry list.
The same was true of redwhistle's list, maybe because we all share many of the same things on all three lists.
And, while I didn't list it, I SO relate to the "not wanting to be responsible" issue. The idea that is supposed to be our time. I counter that with all the time, effort, love and energy Mom spent on us kids, but some days it just doesn't work. (See "run screaming into the woods" syndrome here).
Pat, who were NOT whining -- you were stating a very real issue that a lot of us here (and elsewhere) are dealing with. To be honest, there are times I want to be totally selfish and self-centered, do only what I want to do -- forget working, play guitar, go to jams, knit, crochet, play in the yard, declutter. I mean, I'm really big this week into not being responsible for or TO anyone. Never happen, but what the hey. I guess this is a form of burn-out, right Bill?
Katie was one of a kind and I can only imagine how you miss her. Have you given any thought at all to another kitty or is life just too nuts to do that?
Will give Himself an extra hug. I don't know what I'd ever do without his understanding and support
Hi Dr
It is amazing that we all feel trapped and it also amazing how much all of us have in common. A lot of items of the lists repeated themselves on everyone's list.
I knew you would related to being only responsible for yourself. That is why I didn't classify it as whining.
And I think at times we all should be more selfish! And it is a form of burn out.
No to the new cat, I just can't bring myself to get one. It was just to hard lose her. I don't think I could emotionally take losing another one. Katie left with in five months of dad leaving. It was just to hard to lose loved ones that close togethr. In some weird way I am afraid if I get another cat, I will lose her soon after lose Mom.
Bill
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