I didn’t know and I am embarrassed to admit it. Remember me telling you about the friend that I had that passed away last week? The one that I thought I offended by an internal audit report that I had written about his department but instead of offending him he complimented me on the report and we became friends?
His obituary was in Sunday’s paper. I knew him from 1980 until now. I didn’t know:
That he was an attorney. Nope didn’t know it. He never practiced as an attorney the entire time I knew him. He was a marketing executive and a business vice president. He never mentioned being an attorney in any of our conversations.
I didn’t know that he served in World War II and was wounded. Nope didn’t know. He never mentioned that he had ever served in the military let alone that he was shot defending our country.
I didn’t know that he made rank of Captain in the army. I didn’t know that he was Captain Norm. He never mentioned it.
I didn’t know he was an excellent bridge player. Nope didn’t know. He never mentioned it
What a terrible friend I must have been not to have conversations with him that would have elicited that information from him. What an opportunity I missed to get to know a treasured friend even better than I did.
It’s a lesson. It’s a lesson for the future. I’m going to get out of myself more in conversations and find out more about the backgrounds of the men and women friends in my life. Heck right now I might know more about Brittany Spears, Sarah Palin, and Paris Hilton then I do some of the women friends in my life. I might know more about Peyton Manning, Barrack Obama, and Ted Bundy then I do some of the men friends in my life. While that might be normal it isn’t right. My efforts are now going to directed to getting to know my friends better than I know celebrities.
Have you ever been surprised by how much you didn’t know about a friend after he or she had passed on? Are there in friends in your life right now that you feel you want to or should know more about? I want to know more about *you* so let me know about your friends!
About Me
- William J.
- First, I think the birth sign is wrong. 6-21, some papers say Gemini, some Cancer. Guess that means I have so many personalities that I can do group therapy alone. For those that don't know how to read Google profiles I have put what I really mean in ( ). Hot (Good looking enough to be in movies(if I buy at ticket). A body like a God (Buddha). Romantic (Thinks begging is foreplay.) Physically fit (Heart trouble. Put 911 on speed dial before we get initmate.) Good Provider (has good life insurance in case you forget to put 911 on speed dial.) Loyal (has reference letters from Mom and parole officer.) Intelligent (scored 1600 on his SATS but you have to total the scores of the four times that I took the test.) Looking for someone compatible (Be between 30 & 99 and not inflatable.)
4 comments:
Very interesting post, Bill. I used to know just about everything about people I was close to. Not really the case any more. I don't imagine they know all that much about me, either. I don't know exactly why -- maybe older people have too much history to get into it all. {g} Or that when you're older, you don't feel the need to divulge your activities and feelings as much as you did when younger. Or maybe it's not an age thing at all. I'm stumped.
I do have one friend about whom I know very little. I know she was married briefly a long time ago, but know absolutely nothing about that marriage. I know she taught for a while and temped for a while after that. While I never ask anybody about their age, I know by accident that she refuses to divulge hers, to the extent of refusing to show her driver's license to a ticket seller after asking for a senior discount. Sometimes I'm curious about the stuff I'm reluctant to ask about, but mostly I hadn't thought about it until you brought it up. See what you've done? {g}
I'd like to know about my friend, Barb, from long ago days in Mpls. We exchange Christmas cards and I know the basics, but we used to share a lot of thoughts and ideas and beliefs.
Some acquaintances I know more about than I'd like to. Nancy -- I'd like to know more about her, as I think she has a really interesting history.
Ironically, the ones I'd like to know more about are my siblings. Geographic distances, along with other issues, have led to feeling as if I really don't know them at all, in terms of priorities and experiences that have made them the people they are. I have a sort of "surface" understanding, but know some of their accomplishments, but I suspect there's a lot I don't know.
Hi Pat
I thought I knew the people close to me pretty well but obviously I didn't. I'm not sure what my friends know about me and what they don't. I'm usually pretty open about things that I do.
I never ask anybody about their age either! It is kind of rude. And I like when they ask me about my age.
Ooops, I'm sorry what I did (g)
Bill
Hi Dr
It my be a good time to make a list of questions and write to Barb telling her you want to know more about her.
I'd like to know more what my siblings are thinking not so much more about them as I know them pretty well.
Thanks for the post!
Bill
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