The day when you tell me what is going on in your life. Your joys. Your concerns. Your questions to me. Your questions to each other. If you have been visiting the blog and haven't posted this is a good day to introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself, and maybe even what brought you here. And the same if you are new and just found the blog.
Before my update I am going to give you Snugpug's update that she posted in another thread. Please send good thoughts, prayers, good vibes her direction and in her dad's direction. By my calculation her dad's hip replacement surgery was today. You can go to her blog at http://snugpug.blogspot.com/ and post a supportive message if you want. You can also post your support to Snug right here as a comment to this message! Here is Snug's update:
" Not so good news, actually. Dad fell yesterday and is now in hospital with a hip fracture. He is scheduled for hip replacement surgery first "thing tomorrow morning. He's a terrible patient. I know he's in pain, but he's moaning and keening, it's awful to hear and sets everybody on edge.
I don't really know how he fell. He said he tripped, but mum said where he fell, there was nothing he could have tripped over. Her hypothesis is that dad, in the past week, started walking sideways, like a crab, because shuffling like that must have seemed easier for him to do, at the time. In other words, he wasn't following what he learnt at physio -- face where you're going, feet pointed in that direction, and take measured steps. I think he said he tripped because he didn't want to be faulted. Mum thinks that from how he landed, he was shuffling sideways again, and possible tripped over his own feet. "
Now my update:
The job is going much better. This is the first week since I've been there that I have felt really productive. The people there are really great. Like them all. Having the job going better is a real Godsend.
Sis will be here tomorrow night so tonight will be my last night at Mom's for awhile. This is the first time all tax season that I've looked forward to Friday. Thank God for sisters!
Mom is doing somewhat better but this is a nasty virus that takes at least three weeks to full recovery.
The caregiver is really down with the same virus. The timing of sis being here to make sure the caregiver can have some time off to get well is right on.
I'm still pissed about having to set the clocks ahead one hour tomorrow night before you going to bed. Ugh.
SNUG YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY PRAYERS AND GOOD THOUGHTS!
OK, your turn!
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22 comments:
I'm getting ready to go meet a friend for lunch (Thai food). She wants to show me her new Kindle.
My mother just found out she has to have surgery again to repair the surgery that was done on her ankle a year ago. This one should be pretty uncomplicated with much shorter recovery time, thanks goodness.
First, for Snug: I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's fall. I hope the surgery goes well and that his pain can be managed in the meanwhile. Good thoughs also to you and your mum for having to deal with this. I know how hard it is.
Bill, so glad you'll be getting help tomorrow. About time, too! I sure agree about the darned clocks, and I particularly hate this one where I lose an hour of sleep.
Bev, as you can imagine, I'm very interested in your mom's ankle problem. What needs to be repaired this time? Since she had all those pins and things before I did, and I thought we were both "fixed" now, I'm wondering what went wrong.
For me, getting mom switched from Hospice to a regular Medicare Advantage plan is going at a snail's pace, now complicated by Hospice telling me that, oops, getting her wheelchair and bed just switched over will not be as easy as they initially told me. Just one more !@#$% thing to deal with. Since we're going to change from her original plan before 3/31, I don't want to switch those things to the original plan and then tell them a week later that I'm dumping them, so I'm hoping for three weeks' grace period. Since everything else just crawls along, that shouldn't be hard, but maybe it will be.
Otherwise, she continues as before, physically stable, mentally in and (mostly) out, but reasonably cheerful most of the time. She has deteriorated some, and is very hard to understand at times. So she'll tell me something very seriously that makes no sense at all, and I take cues from her expression to tell me how to respond. I usually guess right and she's satisfied.
I hope Snugpug's dad does well. He may well have tripped, but, of course, sometimes the hip breaks first and that causes the fall. It's not unusual.
Bev, sorry to hear about your mom's new surgery. She's really a trooper.
We only saw four basketball games today. Our butts gave out before games #5 & 6. So we came home and are watching another game on TV. It is definitely March Madness around here.
I've just started using my new Kindle2. I took it to the tournament to read between games. It's nice and light, and if I run out, I can quickly download another book. I'm happy. If you think you might be interested, I would try to borrow one from a friend for a couple of days to try it out before you buy. It costs too much to buy without knowing what you're getting. But I do like mine.
Sngu - Prayers and positive thoughts and vibes headed your way for your dad's surgery and for you and your mom. If your father has osteoporosis, it's quite possible the hip broke and caused his fall. FWIW, our neighbor, who's 80, fell and broke his hip and with surgery and religiously following the PT instructions, he's doing so well, you'd never know he fell or had surgery. ((hugs))
Bill, so glad to hear things are going better with the job, Mom is doing better and Sis will be there in 24 hours or less!
Bev, sorry to hear your mom has to have additional surgery, but glad the prognosis is positive.
Pat, hope you can get all the insurance stuff straightened out. It's a royal pain, I'm well aware.
Been an ... interesting? ... week here. As of tonight, looks like Mom wkll be remaining in AZ until at least the middle of April, as the sinus guy wants to do a full round of treatment, then another CT scan, then have her see a pulminory specialist, who's also an internist, to be sure there's nothing going on with the respitorary system and look at her heart meds. He says no way can she have any kind of surgery at this point, until they know what the respitory issues are. So, knee replacement surgery is to cancelled, along with half a dozen other doctor app'ts here and then we just see what happens, after Mom sees the sinus guy on the 5th, which is when the current course of treatment ends and he does another CT. Meantime, I just take notes and follow instructions and pray they can get Mom to feeling better.
Hi Bev
Hope your Thai lunch with your friend was enjoyable!
Sorry to hear about your mom's surgery, at her age any surgery is a worry and concern. Know that you are in my prayers and good thoughts as is she.
Bill
Hi Pat
What hell it has been for you to get your mom out of Hospice and on new insurance. That just boggles the mind. I will hope right along with you for a grace period of three weeks or longer! By the way if the wheelchair doesn't go through the insurance check with any local Lion's Club and they usually have donated wheelchairs available for use free of charge. Also check with Goodwill and you may be able to buy your own damn wheelchair for not much money and tell the insurance companies to kiss your ***
I'm sorry to hear your mom is deteriorating some but it doesn't surprise that you guess right about what she is saying. You are pretty in tune with her.
I'm so looking forward to help! Tonight I sleep in my own bed!
Bill
Hi Mary Z
It is always a treat to hear from you! So you only got give games to go to today? I will root of the Mocs and the Vols right along with you. I'm not sure if I ever told you this but my niece that is the pharmacist, was captain of the University of Nebraska women's basketball team for two years and an all-american in junior college so women's basketball has been an interest of mine for years. Following her career was the original reason I came on the internet.
I researched Kindle on the internet and it is definitely something I might be interest in for both my Mom and myself. After 4-15 I am definitely going to look into it!
Bill
Hi DR
Ten hours tell Sis! And I can stay home tonight!
I kind of think it is good news that she is staying in Az because it sounds like she found a doctor that really cares. I'm am extremely glad the doctor is being cautious about the surgery for the knee replacement. Your mom sees the sinus guy on April 5th? I will be keeping you, Deb, and your mom in my prayers from now unti then and beyond!
So DR, is it harder on you being so far away from your mom or are you glad the burden has shifted a little?
Bill
Snug sending good thoughts and prayers your way for your dad and your mum. And a few also for you to be able to stay patient through it all.
Bill glad to hear you will have some relief coming soon with your sis. Also glad to hear things with your job have settled so for you to be happier.
Bev, good thoughts too for your mother and her ankle surgery. I hope the recovery is quick. I had ankle surgery and it took forever! So I feel for her.
Pat, so sorry to hear the change for your mother is beginning to be a small pain in your behind. :)
I am hoping it can be quicker for your sake. I don't know much about that. I only had to deal with the Hospice once and luckily for us/me it went very smooth.
Ladydr, I am curious as Bill is at how are you dealing with the absense of your mother.
Mom's absence... it's an adjustment in some ways, with mixed reactions. Of course, she's spent a month each winter in Phoenix, so that I'm used to. She's not spent a month out there when some type of move is imminent and location unknown, nor when she was so sick. It does seem strange not to be responsible for "fixing" her health issues. Maybe that's a control need of some sort?
I'm truly thankful Deb was able to locate a sinus specialist who's interested in Mom and patient about explaining the sinus issues and determined to resolve them. We had no luck on that score here. I'm working at not sticking my oar in the water, since I'm not there to hear the doctor or anything else or see just how Mom's doing. I do not want to emulate the issues I've dealt with.
Selfishily, after the last four years of health problems and especially the last six months of decline and the mobility issues, it's a bit of a relief to have someone else handling it all, although I say that with guilt, of course. It's also a relief to know that Mom has Deb with her 24/7, a situation I couldn't create here for a variety of reasons. Even though I want to be left alone when I feel lousy, I also want to know there's someone here, if I need them, and Mom has that in Phoenix, one of the reasons the two of them decided to combine households. Neither enjoy living alone.
It's a mixed reaction, I guess. I've been responsible for almost five years and we've had some tough spots and little physical/practical support from the sibs. Maybe it's hard to know one can be so easily replaced (g). Mom and Deb have always been close and I'm glad Deb can step in and take over and I think this period will make the decision on where to move lean towards Phoenix. At least there will be a decision. It's hard to imagine Mom so far away, but Deb's house is basically handicap friendly and provides plenty of room for them each to have a bedroom and craft/office/whatever room to themselves, in addition to large living spaces and kitchen, so all of that will work well, if they decide to stay there.
Not having Mom here, not having the responsibilities for her care and all will be a huge adjustment, but one I think I started making mentally when Mom first said they were going to live together, so I guess I've kinda been working on that for a couple months or more. Obviously, I'd hoped they'd live in SC but, all things considered, I can't honestly say that's in their best interests.
Check with me again when a final decision on location is made and accomplished. If it's Phoenix, I may have to get a life and get reacquainted with Himself. (wry s)
Have I totally confused you?
Hi Dr
The confusion doesn't surprised me because when I backed off of caring for mom for a while my emotions were extremely confusing and ran the gamet from feeling free to feeling lost.
I don't think it is a control issue at all, I think we get used to our elderlys and worry that things aren't being done in the way we do them. And I don't think we can be so easily replaced!
I will check with you again because I wanted to updated on not only your mom's health but also on your separation anxiety if any!
Bill
Hi Dona!
When was your ankle surgery? How is it now? Any pain when there is a sudden change in weather?
I was really curious about Dr's adjustment because of the emotions I went through when I back off from caring for mom for a while.
Bill
Hey Bill,
when you say this
"I don't think it is a control issue at all, I think we get used to our elderlys and worry that things aren't being done in the way we do them. And I don't think we can be so easily replaced!"
I think you are speaking for most all of us. Its funny as I didn't want to be the one caring for my mother but then when I did get to leave for the day I worried about how she was being care for..and usually came back and done it all over..my way. :)
I do hope Ladydr is doing ok with the separation anxiety.
As for my ankle surgery...it was done back in 97 and I was not prepared for what I went through after the fact. (guess it wasn't explained to me thoroughly or I didn't listen)and is there pain when the weather suddenly changes?
You bet your bootie there is...just ask me when you want to know if rain is in the forecast.
Dona, I don't have seperation anxiety (yet) but that may be because no permanent separation decision has been made, despite my suspicions of what those may be. Yes, even when my brother did come down for a few days and my younger sister, I felt like I wanted/needed to check on Mom. It may also be because I use my Morning Pages (sort of a journal) to sort things out as they come up. Time will tell.
As to the ankle surgery - ouch. I can relate to weather changes. A few years ago I fell and fractured three ribs (I'm not sure what the difference is between "fractured" and "broke" but the doctor thought it was important). Anyway, I'm with you... although it's gradually better, I can tell you all about weather changes, especially if they involve damp and/or cold, especially a combination of the two! Hang in there, hon.
Dear Bill and everyone,
Thank your and I am deeply touched by your care, concern and good thoughts. Dad's surgery went well, and there was no issue with his heart arrhythmia under anaesthesia.
However, post-op recovery presents another set of issues. In between moaning and groaning, he kept trying to pull off the drainage tubes and IV catheter -- that is not good since the first risk post-op is that of infection and we had no choice but to ask that his hands be cuffed -- it's like a bed jacket and the cuffs of the sleeves are tied to the sides of the bed.
Some time this morning, probably when the morning crew cleaned him, he promised them that he'd behave and they left the restraints off. By the time my mum got to the hospital, she found that he'd pulled everything off that he could, his pajamas and pillow were a bloodied mess, he even had blood under his finger nails, the nurse was reinserting a new catheter for the IV, and dad roaring away in a foul temper.
It's probably a combination of pain, coming out woozy from the GA, being immobilised and general all-round frustration. But then I don't think the other patient in the room is going to be as forgiving. Mum has reached the end of her tether with him and I had to talk sternly to him and tell him that if he wants to recover fast and get home soon, he'll have to stop pulling out all his tubes and things. He's promised, but I have a feeling that as soon as I left the hospital, he's going to misbehave again. We went through this before a couple of years ago after his bypass surgery.
His doctor had hoped to have him up and walking in two days, and home in five if all goes well. The way things are going right now, it's going to take a little longer, I think.
Hi Dona
I do think even though we all have legitmate complaints about carry for parents when we do we get a strong connection with them and it is natural to worry about them when we back off from our duties.
As to your ankle surgery I think the doctors do a terrible job of explaining the post op surgery problems to their patients. If only they would prepare us.
I thought you might experience pain during the weather changes, I was curious.
Bill
Hi Dr
I forgot about the broken ribs. Weather changes seems to be another thing a lot of us here!
Bill
Hi Snug
Like it or not you are part of the family here and we all do care about you and your real family!
Recalling my experiences from the accident I had when I was 18 I can understand some of your dad's actions. I remember even though I wasn't restrained that I felt trapped and thought I was in jail and just had to get out. I was in a pelvic sling once and even though I was paralyzed at the time from the waist down managed to get out of it and ended up on tne floor. It is a combination of a type of claustrophobia and a reaction the the pain medications they are giving your dad is my guess.
It doesn't make your dad's actions any easier for you and for your family because it severely increases every non-patient's worry but maybe it will help you understand a little better.
I'm praying very strongly that it goes better with your dad's post-op recovery that it has so far!
You are welcome to come here and vent anytime and in any thread! Doesn't matter when or where.
Hugs, Snug
Bill
Hi, Snug - I'm so glad to hear the surgery went well. Not so glad to hear that Dad's not being the best of patients during the recovery process. It has to be extremely worrisome for you and your mom. I'll keep all of you in my prayers and hope he settles soon. As you say, it could be any combination of things and hopefully the next day or two will see improvements. Bill brought up some interesting comments in his msg about how he felt after his accident and surgeries. Seeing your father restrained has to be another painful experience, but it if helps him recover... sigh. However do we know the best thing to do?
(Hugs to you and your mom) I can imagine the frustration and concern you're both going through, given the complications and such after Mom's heart surgery (surgery went well, recovery was a nightmare, due to diabetic and other complications).
Oh, Snug, what a roller coaster you're on! I think Bill's probably right about why your dad is reacting the way he is. Those drugs can cause all kinds of weird thinking.
Interesting about others' post-op problems from ankle surgery. My son-in-law commented once that I had dodged a bullet with mine, and I guess he was right. I expected all kinds of stuff with the plate and screws left in my ankle. I expected it to react badly to cold weather. I thought it might feel heavier with all that metal in there. Neither happened. And I give my doc, who was the one who just happened to be on duty for the surgery, lots of credit. He told me what to do and I did it, and he told me what I might expect. His time predictions were "worst case", so things went a little faster than I expected, and the possible problems never materialized. It feels perfectly normal with the one exception that it's a little stiff for a minute or two after I get up from sitting for a long time. Guess I got lucky.
Hi Dr
The reaction I had to being in the bed was so intense that even as drugges as I was I still remember it even forty years later. That is why I kind of understand Snug's dad's reactions and maybe fear.
Snug I echo Dr's hugs!
Bill
Hi Pat
You read my mind. When Dona was talking about her ankle surgery I was wondering about yours. I'm glad the lasting side effects have been minimal!
Bill
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