Wanted to wish good luck to Facebook and Email Friend J.G. that her tests today will come out cancer free. I also wanted to mention that even though Update Day is now Sunday you don’t have to wait until then to update us. You can share anytime here. We have no rules here. Also wanted to let you know that if there is a trivia of the day it will always be at the end of the blog entry together with the previous day’s answers.
DR and I were chatting in email a while back that the hardest days for an elderly that has lost a spouse that they had been with for a lifetime are the special days. Anniversaries. Birthdays. What DR and I do for our Mom’s is to recognize those dates for them with either a small gift our a meal out to share memories with them. Today is dad’s birthday. I am taking Mom out to lunch today to celebrate the day, rather than to ignore it. We will share memories and stories. My dad loved breakfast. It was his favorite meal of the day. He could eat breakfast three times a day. Today Mom and I are going to breakfast for lunch.
During the recent contest I got a very nice email from Dona. As part of the contest she had reread the blog. She mentioned in her email that the stories about my Mom and dad were touching and that I was lucky to have the parents that I had. I was lucky to be blessed with those parents and with the encouragement of that email today is dad stories.
Two of my biggest regrets are never having children and never marrying. I know I’d be a damn good husband. And I know I would have been a great dad. When I was dating a woman with two children she was always telling me that she had never met a man with such natural fathering ability. Truthfully, when we separated I had a harder time separating from her children then I did her. My friends tell me that they appreciate me for being so supportive of them. I learned all of that from my dad. A great father, loyal, supportive and a really good man that I hope someday to be as good as.
I’ve told this story before early on in the blog but it is such a classic dad story it bears repeating. It is the perfect story to help define what my dad was like. If I wrote a book about my dad, this chapter would be titled WOOF, WOOF. It was when I was maybe six years old and we were living in Pocatello, Idaho. We had this neighbor kid, Freddy, about my age who was just the kid from Hell. He was the type of kid that made you dream of retroactive birth control. He had this habit of coming over and leaning on our doorbell. Not just ring it, lean on it. It drove my dad absolutely nuts. One Saturday, dad and I were sitting in the living room when someone began leaning on our doorbell. After mumbling something to the tune of “I am going to get that little bastard” dad got down on his hands and knees. GROWWWWWWWWLLLL. WOOF WOOF. He was doing the best darn imitation of a Pitt Bull this side of the Mississippi that you have ever seen. Between the WOOF WOOF’S and the GROWWWWWWWWWWWWLL’s dad said “open the door, Bill.” WOOF WOOF, GROWLLLLLLLL. I opened the door. Trouble is Freddy, the neighbor, wasn’t at the door. It was two people handing out religious material. Boy did they take off. We later learned from another neighbor, a member of that church, that our address was on the banned list, the list not to visit.
This chapter in a dad book would be titled, SHOVE IT. Loving was a good adjective of dad. But the best word to describe him was supportive. It was my junior year in high school. I was working at the local grocery store as a box boy (now called courtesy clerk) to earn money for college. I was on the JV basketball team. I wasn’t a great player but I was good. I was never going to be the star, I might make the team at a really small college but my basketball career was most likely going to be over when I graduated from high school. The trouble I had on the basketball court was that dreaded word, expectations. My brother had natural abilities, he was probably the most talented athlete in school. When I went out for any sport all the coaches expected me to be as good as he was, when I wasn’t then I was haunted by those dreaded words, “not playing up to his abilities.” So even though I was in almost everyone’s eyes one of the best five players on the JV team they wouldn’t start me. Each game it became more frustrating for me. I can take a lot but I have me limits. About the fifth game into the season, in the first half they inserted me in to the game when the team was ten points behind. We were ahead when they took me out of the game. I never played in the second half. We lost. I made a spur of the moment decision that I would rather work more hours at the grocery store than be demeaned by that idiot of a coach. Took a shower. Rolled up my uniform together with the jock strap. Walked over to the coach, gave him my uniform and said “shove this up your ass.” Went over and got dressed. When I walked out to the car, the coach was talking to my dad. I’m thinking OK so I won’t get to use the family car for a while. After the coach left, I asked my dad what my punishment would me. Dad said, “No punishment. I told him if it had been me I would have told him to shove it a long time ago.” I went on to become the best player in the church league. See why I miss and loved my dad?
May this be a day for you to celebrate life and share memories of and with loved ones!
Because the rumor has it that three of a kind are two time contest winner Connie’s favorite we will DO WHAT DO THESE THREE HAVE IN COMMON for the next couple of days:
Yesterday’s answers:
An iceberg, a tongue, a waiter or waitress. TIPS
Rip, hack, buzz. TYPES OF SAWS
Cob, pent, cygnet. - SWANS
Alamogordo, Hiroshima, Nagasaki. - SITES OF ATOMIC BOMBING
East of Eden, Rebel Without A Cause, Giant (besides movies or books) - JAMES DEAN MOVIES
Today’s:
Superman, Narrow Margin, Mississippi Burning besides being movies or books.
The mad decade, The Age of Red-Hot Mamas, The Jazz Age.
Sir Henry Morgan, William Kidd, Jean Laffite.
A weak battery, a matador, a crime suspect.
A snow storm in Florida, A hula hoop with a nail in it, and The USS Adams. (I love this one)
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6 comments:
Bill, your dad sounds like just a prince of a guy. No wonder you miss him so.
Okay, here's an early update. My mother is to have a new suite mate. Last night there was a huge flurry of moving tons of stuff into the other bedroom in the suite, which has been empty since we lost wonderful Irene at age 104. I doubt it'll matter much to my mother, who's only in there to sleep, but the rumor is that this woman needs to pee about every half hour, so that may be a problem. Another rumor is that she has a caregiver, but nobody knows if this is day or night or both. If it's at night, I can foresee all sorts of problems, because the teeny living room can only accommodate two caregivers if they're very fond of each other, and I want my two kept happy. (I have one 5 nights/week, the other one 2 nights).
Another rumor: when they heard my mother had somebody at night, their eyes lit up. If they think they'll piggyback on my caregivers, well, that won't happen. Unless my two don't mind, but if they are going to care for the new woman, too, they are darned well going to get a nice raise, and it won't come from me. I'd love to give everybody there a raise, but we're bleeding money as it is, and I worry about how long it will last.
So maybe today I'll meet the actual new resident and get an idea what's going to happen. I met her son briefly last night, but the resident hadn't moved in yet. They wanted to leave about 100 big boxes in the living room, but the staff told them they had to have room to get my mom by in her wheelchair, plus they need a place for her caregiver to sit. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a hassle.
Hi Pat
It bothers me that the family of the new resident wasn't thoughtful enough to know that they couldn't block your mom's wheelchair path. That lack of thoughtfulness does easily translate to them thinking they are going to piggyback on your caregivers and most likely not offer to pay. I hope I am wrong.
Your caregivers are damn lucky to have you to stick up for them. No wonder they like your mom and treasure you!
Please keep us up to date on what is going on with your Mom!!
Bill
I talked to some of the staff today, and apparently they made it clear last night that my night people are there just for my mom. If they want to do more, they can, but if they do, I want them to get paid for it. They all need the money, and I just want my people happy. {g}
Sounds like you've a lovely day planned with Mom. I know it meant a lot to Mom that we remembered Daddy's birthday and their anniversary.
Yes, you're very blessed, as I am, to have had such wonderful parents. So many kids don't have fond memories nor did they learn about the "good" in life from their folks.
Pat, I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on at LC. You'd just really gotten things settled down with the caretaker issue and your mom doing well in other areas. I sincerely hope the new suite mate is a nice lady and, equally - if not more important - that her family turns out to be one you can get along with well. Perhaps the issue of moving their mother into the home had them not thinking straight, in terms of the boxes and such. And I sincerely hope that if they think the caregiver is going to watch over their mother, they plan to pay half the cost. It does sound as if things are rather at sixes and sevens at the moment and I hope it's just the moving in process and that all will work out well. It would be a Good Thing if you could split the cost of the caregivers, so long as Hazel and the other woman have similar needs and one doesn't usurp time needed by the other? I'll hold good thoughts and send positive vibes.
Hi Pat
I would want to work for you. Your help is lucky to have you watching out for them.
Bill
Hi DR
We did have a nice and it did mean a lot to both mom and I to remember the day.
Bill
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