Do you think obsessions can be healthy? Or are obsessions always wrong because they make you focus on only one area of your life? Can some obsessions be safe? Or are obsessions dangerous? My answers are at the end of today's blog entry.
Yesterday I went to JULIE AND JULIA starring Meryl Streep as Julia Child and Amy Adams as Julie Powell. With supporting roles as their husbands, Stanly Tucci as Paul Child and Chris Messina as Eric Powell. Based on two true stories. Based on the books; Julia Child's memoir, MY LIFE IN FRANCE, and Julie Powell's " Julie & Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen" The paperback was retitled Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously. The screenplay is written by Nora Ephron (Sleepless In Seattle, When Harry Met Sally). The movie is also directed by Ephron.
The movie takes place in two different time frames. Julie Powell in New York City in 2002-2003, Julia Child in France in during the forties and fifties. With great costumes, it is really easy to distinguish when and where you are at. The two stories: Julie Powell locked in a dead-end job in New York City sees all her friends making challenging career advances while she goes to the same mundane job every day. She needs a challenge, she takes on Julia Child's MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH COOKING by deciding to cook 524 recipes in 365 days. She starts a blog recording her daily challenges with the recipes. The other story is Julia Child is in France lost without much to do decides to go to cooking school. The first woman cooking student.
There was a lot to like about the movie. Amy Adam's legs. Amy and Meryl's acting. Stanley Tucci (whom I have loved ever since his role in SHALL WE DANCE) acting. I loved that the movie showed two husbands that were extremely supportive of their wives. Instead of the usual showing of husbands out having affairs and doing everything they can to destroy their marriages. It was really nice to see men loving their wives and standing behind them.
What I didn't like about the movie was that it sagged in the middle. I also didn't like how when one of the women had a kink in her marriage that they didn't really show what brought them back together. Nothing really changed in the marriage, so why would you re-enter it? I also wondered how healthy it was for someone to have an obsession on a celebrity that risked a job and a marriage.
Eat before you go to this movie because the food looks delicioous. Be prepared to laugh as there are several funny scenes. Be prepared to be frustrated at times. Be prepared to watch two couples in love.
One Football for Amy Adams. One Football for Amy Adams' legs. One Football for Stanley Tucci. One Football for Meryl Streep. A minus one-half football for showing an obsession that could have turned out awful in a perfect light. Total Three and a half footballs.
My answers to the questions at the start of the blog? Yes, some obsessions can be healthy. I never would have walked again without the obession to prove doctors wrong. I never would have passed the CPA exam without the obsession to study, in the morning before I went to work, on my lunch hour, listening to tapes driving to and from work, and shutting out everything at night including TV to study. But obsessions can also be dangerous and very harmful. Obsessing over another human is just wrong. Obsessing over a celebrity? Mostly wrong. Obsessing on one area of you life, like exercise, at the expense of everything else going on in your life? Physically healthy yes, mentally healthy doubtful. Where to you land on the obsession scale?
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6 comments:
Pretty much in agreement with you on the obsession issue. I do think that there are different types of obsessions and I also think that the length of time one holds an obsession is a factor. Like you, with walking again and getting your CPA. Like me, with finishing and selling the cancer book and finishing the Choices book.
And I'm not sure those were obsessions, so much as determination. Webster says obsession is "to be haunted or troubled in mind..." Which fits in with an obsession occupying one to the exclusion of a lot of other things.
Unhealthy, I now realize, would apply to those times when I obsessed over Mother's health and welfare, concentrating on her wants and needs to the exclusion of a great deal of the rest of my life. Those times when I obsessed over finishing Bob's material weren't healthy, I finally realized, because I was putting aside a lot of other things in my life. I've never understood obsession with a celebrity, although I have a couple acquaintances who come close to having one. I remember a woman in FL who literally cried for weeks when Princess Di was killed in the auto accident. Never have understood that, although I certainly admired Di.
I guess I'm thinking there's a difference between obsession, which is generally unhealthy, especially if it leads to obsessive/compulsive behavior, versus short term determinination and drive towards a specific goal or dream. When something haunts your mind to the point where you exclude other people and normal, healthy activities over a long term, that seems to me to be an unhealthy obsession. When you don't realize this is happening and/or have no desire to change it, to find a balance in life, it's unhealthy. People who build their entire lives around being home to see a particular weekly show, scheduling their lives around that, seem to me to have an obsession, although that doesn't actually meet the definition, unless it's extremely troubling and affective to them when they miss the show?
I'm really curious to see what others have to say. I guess my take on it is that when one subject/activity/whatever prevents a healthy balance in your life, it may be an unhealthy obsession. Once again, you've raised an interesting point.
Hi DR
It is provocative posts like yours is one of the reasons I changed the way I did movie reviews. If you noticed before when I reviewed movies I just did the movie review which shut out readers and posters that didn't go to movies. Now what I try to do is review a movie or a TV show and relate it to a real life issue that everyone can participate in.
I wonder when determination becaomes an obsession. Using the walking as an example as long as there was a chance I was going to walk those 20 hour days walking in front of a mirror were determination but if that had told it didn't matter how hard I worked I'd never walk and I continued to spend those 20 hour days with no hope would it then beomce an obsession?
You example of your mom is right on. I know I obsess over find mom dead. Us caregiver often do obsess over or elderly as the expense of ourselves. Certainly that isn't healthy.
I can understanding crying when a celebrity dies but I could never understand it going on for weeks. Or turning you room into a memorial for the celebrity.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I am also very curious what others have to say!
Bill
I'll have to go with DR regarding determination vs. obsession. I have little experience with obsession, and offhand can't think of any friends or acquaintances I'd consider obsessed with anything. I do know a young woman who reads the Harry Potter and the Twilight books over and over. Is that an obsession? She seems normal in other respects. {g}
At any rate, I don't think I can contribute much to this discussion, but it is definitely an interesting topic.
Hi Pat
It is hard for such a normal person to talk about abnormal behaviour, however, I think you always contribute to the discussion!
I have never read a Harry Potter book so fortunately or unfortunately that isn't one of my obsessions!
Bill
Hmmm, interesting question about your walking and at what time it might become an obsession. I'm a firm believer that thoughts and belief are as powerful as action, so your determination to walk covered more than just the physical effort. And I'm not sure that Your Personal Belief you can make something happen through certain actions is an obsession, but I'll be interested to see what others have to say.
You mentioned our obsessions with our elderly parents as an issue. The difference is You could control, to a certain degree, whether or not you'd walk again. We have no control over other people, including our parents, and what they're willing to do to change the issues we're concerned about. A fine line to define, no?
Hi DR
It is a fine line and I do think in some ways our elderly can do more for themselves than they do because they are afraid to make a mistake so they leave the decisions to us and we obsess about them because they effect not only them but us. If we didn't obsess and walk away and force them to make their own decisions that might be less obessive and maybe less controlling on our part.
Bill
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