I spent yesterday and last night at Mom’s. Yesterday and today I have discovered some things that I thought I would share with you.
First, it is amazing that no matter how old you are that when you return to your Mom’s or parents home they immediately think you are their little child and treat you as if you are three minutes shy of your third birthday. Your Mom (parents?) become the master of the obvious and think you need to be told everything. An example:
“Turn on the dishwasher.”
“Really. I didn’t know you had to turn on the dishwasher for it to work, I thought it was one of those new technological machines that turned on itself.”
OK, I admit maybe my response was a tad sarcastic. But that was after a day of “make sure you put my walker close enough for me to reach it (I’ve been doing this now for over seven years and not once in that time have I forgotten to put the walker close enough for her to reach it), brush your teeth (can you believe it?), don’t put to much water in the coffee pot and the list goes on.
I mean my Mom and dad helped me through college. They paid for one year, I paid for the rest. You would think if you helped someone through college you would assume that their IQ was a little higher than a pile of dirt. Every week after spending a day or two or three at Mom’s I come home and start having a nightmare. The same nightmare, over and over. I meet the woman of my dreams. We get to that place where I want to introduce her to Mom. We go out to a nice restaurant. Everything is going well. Until the dinner comes and mom reaches over and starts cutting my meat. Think that might put a damper on the budding relationship?
Enough of that. I’m alone right now so I am back to being an adult. Yesterday I took off for Mom’s about one. Did all the normal things. Then when I got up this morning after making breakfast for Mom, I headed home to do the homely duties like watering the lawn. When I got home I saw my cell phone sitting one the dining room table. I had been without my cell phone for over twenty four hours and didn’t miss it! That got me to wondering if I was a captive of technology. I cannot tell you how many years it has been since I have gone a day without carrying my cell phone. Lately I’ve been carrying the cell phone in case there is an emergency involving Mom. Sometimes due to worry I even sleep with the cell phone waiting for that dreadful call. Before the care giving I carried the cell phone in case my clients had an emergency. Of course my idea of an emergency was the four D’s. Death, Divorce, Destruction (of a business due to fire or other tragedy) and the Deadly IRS audit notice. My clients’ idea of an emergency important enough to call at three in the morning was to schedule an appointment three weeks away or to find out if they could deduct their pet as a dependant. The thing that accidentally leaving my cell phone at home did for me was to give me a certain amount of peace and freedom. So much peace and freedom that I am going to accidentally on purpose forget my cell phone more often.
OK, Moms, I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. When your children return home do you treat them as adults or do you treat them as the little rug rats they were when they last lived with you? And are you a captive to technology? If you are a captive to technology, what technology are you a captive to?
Goo, Goo. Translated, I am headed back to Mom’s for the rest of the day. My nephew comes tonight, so I get to go out to dinner with a friend and then come home and spend the night here. Now just where did I put that teddy bear I sleep with.
May this be a grown up day for all of you!
YESTERDAY’S ANSWERS:
Ronald Reagan, Thomas Delahanty, James Brady. ALL SHOT BY JOHN HINCKLEY
Herb Talek, Bailey Quarters, Jennifer Marlowe. WKRP IN CINCINNATI
Perwinkle, Azure, Cerulean. SHADES OF BLUE
Inspector Fenwick, Nell, Horse. DUDLEY DO RIGHT, SINCE THAT WAS PART OF THE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SHOW, THAT COUNTED TOO.
Bread & Butter, Midget Gherkin, Kosher Dill. PICKLES.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS:
Izmir, Ankara, Istanbul.
The first American in space, Rin Tin Tin, Jesus.
Dick Tracy, Dudley Do Right, Kirk Douglas.
Step on no pets, Never Odd or Even, Madam I’m Adam. (I love this one. Can’t Google it) (A hint though, a mirror might help)
Heather, Lily, Tulip.
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8 comments:
Oh, Bill, how very infuriating! My mother used to do similar stuff to me, so I know just how you feel. VERY funny dream about her cutting your meat for you! Yes, I suspect there might not be a second date after that.
I absolutely do NOT do that to my kid. In fact, I remember well the day I realized we'd had a role reversal and I was asking her to explain something to me. We laughed about it then and now pretty much treat each other as adults, except sometimes in matters computer, where I am the child.
I am only sort of a slave to technology. My cell phone goes with me, but it only gets turned on when I want to make a call, and that's rare. I'd be lost without my computer, though. When it or the modem goes down, I feel cut off from the world. Hate it when the cable goes down at night and I don't have TV, but fortunately I still love to read, so can entertain myself anytime if I have a book handy (and I always have a book handy).
I try not to treat my kids like kids, though I have to work hard not to say anything when Jeri gets in at 3 a.m. or spends the night at someone's house. She has lived alone for 20 years, but when she's here I always worry when she's out by herself (Now, of course, she'll be out with her husband, so things will change).
As for technology. Captive? Who ME? Bwahahahaha. Just because I break out in a cold sweat when I'm more than an hour without checking e-mail or get in the car without my iPod or camera? Nah--I can quit whenver I want. I just don't want.
Hi Pat
Both my mom and my sister do it to me, but then when they need help I
m the one they turn to, so they must think I am dumb on some level and smart on another.
I kind of had you pegged as someone that would treat their daughter as an equal.
I also kind of new at some level that you didn't live or die by technology. When my computer goes down I am completely lost, same with the TV. In the TV I usually run out and buy a new one before waiting to get the old one fixed!
Bill
Hi Bev
You know if I was a parent no matter what their age I would worry to if they didn't come home at night or on time.
Somehow I knew you would have two husbands, Walt and technology.
Bill
Ah, dear idiot, welcome to the crowd. "Did you put the milk in the refrigerator?" I'm asked, after I did her grocery shopping. (Well, no, I put it in the linen closet, duh!) Yes, you may have been a bit sarcastic, but there are times ... And then again, I sometimes wonder if Mom didn't ask those questions because she often forgot to put away cold stuff or would sometimes leave her walker and use the counter for support and then need the walker. But, yeah, I hear you on the suddenly becoming an incompetent three year old. The only saving grace is we have friends and clients who think we're quite good at what we do, no?
As to technology... I fought the cell phone thing tooth and toenail. Then, with Mom's situation, I always had it with me. Not many people have my cell number, outside of family, and certainly not clients. They can call the land line and leave a message. (Even at that, there are those who think I'm on call 24/7 and can answers questions at ten at night). However, I've grown accustomed to it being with me. Actually, its primary purpose is so I can call Himself and tell him I'm three minutes from home, so he can get Spook in the house while I open and close the gate into the property.
OTOH, I'm like you, Pat and Bev -- take away my computer and internet connection and I'm likely to react unrealistically. I need that imbelical (I know that's not the right spelling!) chord to my world of friends and support and research and all. TV I can live without, since I don't watch it, but if cable goes out for more than 24 hours or so, begin gnashing my teeth.
Oh, btw, I DO think everyone needs a teddy bear, regardless of age, for certain times of crisis, be it major or minor(g).
I'm a firm believer that if you treat adults like children they often will act like children. As a result, I make a big effort to treat my adult children as adults (but I have been known to fail at times, usually when they are sick.) I never was a big one for babying my kids though.
Hi Dr
I am in good oompany!!
Yes, most my clients think I am a capable ten year-old.
We had the same experience with cell phones. Originally for emergencys,
OTOH, I'm like you, Pat and Bev --
I think sometimes it would bother me if my phone went kaput but the computer going kaput I might need drugs.
I found my teddy bear! Little Willie.
Bill
Hi Ellen
I knew you would be one of the treat children like adult ones!
And when I am sick I go into child mode so mom can treat me like a child then and I wouldn't care.
Bill
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