Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Transformation is Beginning & I'm Scared

The first class isn't until Monday night but I have resdiscovered my ability to obsessively worry about events days, weeks, and sometimes months in advance.

I was really fine until the sister event. I don't really need to shop for clothes. Groceries, suits, cars, shoes definitely but daily wear no. That is because my Mom, sister, and sister-in-law like to dress me. Usually when they buy me clothes it means 1) It is my birthday, 2) It is Christmas, 3) There is a special event coming up or 4) It is a statement (That leisure suit is nice but do you really think it is still in style? Nice Nehru jacket but maybe you should try something different.)

Sister and her husband left here Thursday morning. I didn't really worry about the guest room because sis always leaves things spotless so I didn't check out the guest room until Friday morning. On the bed was a nice new pair of slacks with a nice note (actually it was an order). "Thank you for allowing us to stay with you, here are slacks to wear to your class Monday night" OK, it isn't my birthday, it isn't Christmas, since I gave the leisure suit and the Nehru jacket to Goodwill a couple of months ago it isn't a statement, that means sis is considering the class a special event. Oh, Oh. I immediately went into special event mode, got a haircut, took a picture of the slacks and headed out to Macy's. Stopped by the men's scents counter and the really nice lady there connected me with not one but two bottles of new high quality cologne. One for day. One for night. I didn't really know that there were different colognes for night and day but it is amazing what you can learn when you throw yourself on the mercy of a woman. Azzaro Chrome for day. Azzaro Legend for night. I'm not sure it is good stuff because I put some on and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Nobody attacked me but the bearded lady from the circus did say hi. After the cologne purchase I took the picture of the slacks and went up to the men clothes section and again begged a woman to help me. Got a really nice shirt that she said went with the slacks. OK, I just need some new shoes to go with the studly outfit. Get those tomorrow.


Part of special event mode is to obsessively worry. I've gotten so good at worrying that I can tell you the exact number of hours that I will be sweating. It is approxmiately sixty hours until the class starts. Sleep equals sixteen hours. Today I am going to a French film, Tell No One. I chose that because it is playing only at one theater and it is in downtown Portland. With travel time and movie time that is five hours. Then two hours a day on the blog. One hour listening to a podcast. Brunch with Ted Sunday morning five hours, we have a lot to say. Taking mom to lunch and shopping, four hours. Reading the daily newspaper, an hour a day. Walking is an hour a day. The driving range is also an hour a day. That leaves fourteen hours of worry and sweat.

Any suggestions what I can do during those fourteen hours to take my mind off of future events? I would really prefer that you don't suggest skydiving or a body wax but other than that I am open for suggestions.

16 comments:

Mary said...

If I am fussing very hard about something, I clean a room, or clean out a closet. Somehow that's soothing.

You'll be great, I can't wait to hear how it goes!

Lady DR said...

Bill, my dear, you have such a dry sense of humor, I really don't think you're going to be sweating it in the comedy class, honest! The bit about the cologne had me grinning. Like you, I had no idea! Gee, why not go whole hog and get a new sport coat to wear with the slacks, shirt and shoes? (grin) And your calculations on hours allocated and those left to worry had me laughing.

And why let Sis make this an "event?" Not an event. It's a class you're taking to have some fun and signing up is a step forward in dealing with your shyness.

Now, are you sure this isn't a statement? Have you compared the slacks she bought you with the slacks you wore during the time she was here? Do you remember the last time you bought a new pair of slacks? Or are they a "thank you" for the week? Or is it, perhaps, a "Congratulations on taking the class and here's an early reward" gift?

I agree with Mary - cleaning out a closet or garage or room is a good way to deal with worry and anxiety, especially if you find stuff to give to charity or admit it needs to go in the trash bin. There's something freeing about getting almost anything out of the house or out of the way, if it's not needed. (I've been doing a lot of this the last few weeks on a gradual basis It's a good anxiety reliever.)

Physical labor also works for me. Any yard or garden work you could do? Fall's coming, time to clear out, pull weeds, check the mulch, maybe put in a few mums.

I think the secret is sometimes a combination of physical activity of some sort and visible results, which produce a sense of accomplishment.

OTOH, have you got a really good book or two you could lose yourself in? I think it's called escapism, but whatever works, I say.

As a final resort, you could paint your bathroom a different color.

Pat said...

DR seems to have cornered the market on suggestions. All of hers are good ones, so I'll just second them.

Since I also tend to agonize over upcoming unusual events, I feel your pain, and all I can say is that they never turn out anywhere near as bad as my imagination predicts. So go with a happy heart, watch and listen until you have the lay of the land, and then let yourself go. I know you'll enjoy this.

William J. said...

Mary

Both my sis and I are compulsive cleaners so that is only going to take a half an hour tops. OK we are down to 13 1/2 hours. I forgot showering everyday which gets me to 12 hours.

Bill

William J. said...

Hi DR

Speaking of dry senses of humor your response had me laughing.

I can't do the sport coat on top of everything else because I don't want the other class members to know I went to such lengths before the first class.

Geez, maybe it was a statement because I haven't bought slacks for quite a while although mom bought me three pair a couple of months ago. However, since sis said none of them had the guts to do that they would be living bicariously through me I think it more of an event purchase that statement purchase. The were the thank you too but the order attached to was wear them to class.

Belive it or not my closets are about as clean as they get. I, like you, have been doing them a little bit every day.

Physical labor? Yard is in good shape, no garden. However, some things need moving around. Ok that is a couple of more hours so we are down to ten hours of sweat.

I just finished three books so starting a book would be a good idea. Then I can sweat while reading it.

Hmmmm, I have two and a half bathrooms so if I changed the color on each one viola the last ten hours are covered!

Thank you DR.

Bill

William J. said...

Pat

I never would have guessed you to be one that agonized over things. That really surprises me.

If I survive tomorrow nights class I will report on it Tuesday sometime.

Bill

Pat said...

I don't actually agonize a lot because I don't go out of my comfort zone all that often. But yes, when something is coming up that's scary to me, I sweat probably as much as you do.

Looking forward to your report on the class. And on the colors you've decided on for the bathrooms.

William J. said...

Hi Pat

Wasn't your music editiing career because you went outside of your comfort zone?

I'm guessing the first class may be mostly introductions so it may be a tad boring.

Probably white or pink for the bathrooms.

Bill

Lady DR said...

Bathrooms, white or pink? Nay, nay. C'mon, Bill, you've got about 24 hours. Do one of them in a nice, deep moss green, with forest green trim and accents. The other in blue, with slate trim and accents. Go wild in the half bath -- pale milk chocolate.

That should take care of 24 hours. My job here is done.

Kaye R said...

I'm just rolling on the floor here! Loved DRs suggestions and agree.. pink and white in your bathrooms...NO!!! Don't do it! Have you considered a zebra print? (giggling)

Bill.. you'll do fine!! It's a class, not an event. Now, send me something with the cologne spritzed on it. The names sound nice!

Mary said...

Okay, if you're still fussing, and your closets are already clean, drive up here and clean mine. Time used up, done! Hugs.

Pat said...

Yes, now that I think about it, my entire editing career was due to going out of my comfort zone. First music, then sound, then picture. I guess I wasn't such an agonizer back then. And I'm still not, really. Maybe I'm just lazy and anything that's going to require me to do unaccustomed (and maybe difficult) things gets me to thinking, "Do I really want to do this?" And then thinking up excuses not to.

As to the bathrooms, definitely listen to DR!

William J. said...

DR

If I paint one of the bathrooms green I can't do it until after the class. You see the slacks that sis bought and the shirt that I bought to go with it are green so if I was in the bathroom getting ready for the class and passed out due tp hyperventiliation I would blend in so much with the interior that 911 wouldn't be able to find me.

Bill

William J. said...

Kaye

Zebra prints? Then if I ever did get a date we could play checkers on the bathroom wall.

The mens' secent are on the way, assuming homeland security doesn't confiscate the envelopes.

Bill

William J. said...

Mary

My shovel and me are on the way!

Bill

William J. said...

Pat

You are the last person in the world that I would define as lazy!

I could only take the blue suggestion from DR. The green just wouldn't work.

Bill