Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dating & Cheating.

I found these two articles interesting. The first article is about how we are influenced by strangers in our romantic choices:

http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/06/08/study-strangers-influence-our-dating-choices/?icid=main|htmlws-sb-n|dl5|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2F2010%2F06%2F08%2Fstudy-strangers-influence-our-dating-choices%2F

According to the above article if a member of their own sex finds a member of the opposite sex attractive other members we will find him or her attractive too. If men are at a party and several men are looking at a particular woman then men not looking will eventually follow suit. If there are five men talking to one woman then other men will glide over to talk to her too. I find that surprising because when I am at the party I don't go were all the men are, I go to the woman standing alone. First, I don't like competition. Second, I've learned over time that the most physically beautiful women can become ugly as you get to know them and that the woman standing in the corner that has nice features can become absolutely beautiful as you get to know her. What is interesting about the article is that in this case women are exactly the same as men. If they find five women talking to a man they are heading is direction too.

The next article is about cheating. About women cheating on men. I found the statistics kind of surprising. Twenty-two percent of men cheat. I thought that was kind of low. I really don't know why I thought it was low because none of the married men in my circle of friends cheat. It just seems low. According to the article eighteen percent of women cheat. I also find that kind of low. In the article four men report in on what it was like to be cheated on and what they learned from the experience. In the first case to much attention to work to little attention to the woman, he second it was to much booze for the woman, in the third case be aware during rough spots, and in the last case a history of cheating didn't change.

http://www.asylum.com/2010/06/14/when-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity/?icid=main|htmlws-sb-n|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F06%2F14%2Fwhen-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity%2F

I also found interesting the poll that they took at the end of the article asking if you should give a cheater a second chance. At the time I read the article (it could change as more votes come in) forty-nine percent said no way, forty-five percent said it depends on the circumstances, and only six percent said mistakes happen work it out. I honestly think I could forgive my partner but I could never forget it. That would be so bad for the relationship that I would end it. I'm pretty sure I could remain friends with her, however, if we were still together the trust I had would be gone and the suspicion would be to great to be fair to her. Could you forgive a cheating spouse or significant other?

I would love your comments on either article.

WHO AM I?

Yesterday's answer was Freda McDonald aka Josephine Baker

I was born in 1847 and died in 1918, both in New York. I was the seventh of ten children. I was a mix of European, African and Indian heritage. While there isn't anything on record about my early education, in 1867 I entered the New York Medical College for Women, graduating in three years as class valedictorian. The students and faculty voted me to be the 1870 class valedictorian. I earned this honor by studying at all hours, especially when my classmates slept. I also refused to let the taunting of male medical students during shared clinic hours at Bellevue Hospital deter me. Despite my achievement, New York newspapers did not print my valedictory. I did my postgraduate work at Long Island College Hospital. After graduation I established my medical practice in my Brooklyn home. It was slow to start, but soon word spread about my skill and patients grew more diverse: young and old, Black and white, poor and rich. My first husband was a traveling preacher and we had two children, a boy and a girl. Despite my full medical practice I also attended to seniors at the Brooklyn Home for Aged Colored People. My first husband died in 1892 and I married again in 1896. My second husband was an infantry chaplain. I often followed him in to battle and treated wounded soldiers. I was New York's first female doctor and the nations third. Who Am I?

2 comments:

Pat said...

Don't know about that first article. I've tried hard to think about whether I'm influenced in a group by who other people are interested in. I don't think I am, but I haven't been in that kind of situation for so long that the whole idea is a blur. [g]

As to the cheating article, I guess I come down on 'depends on the circumstance' side, but again, not much experience with such situations. I do question that 22% for men, though. I'd guess much higher.

I think there's a Very Big Difference between cheating on a spouse and cheating on an unmarried significant other, though in the case of the guy whose girlfriend was pregnant, it was pretty serious.

William J. said...

Hi Pat

You are one of the strongest women I know and I doubt very much if you would let a stranger influence you.

22% Does seem low but I also thought the 18% was low. I have read other articles though that said in a bad economy people seem to stay together and cheating is down. But most studies before this one usually say men 50% or more and women in the 30% range.

I do kind of disagree with you about one thing. I think cheating is awful if you are in a committed relationship whether married or not!

Bill