Answers to yesterday’s trivia questions: What Samuel Beckett play’s London premiere was greeted with a mass walkout by the audience? Waiting For Godat. What four elements make up 90% of the human body? Oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen. Name the movie and the actor that said the following: “Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo? Chevy Chase in Fletch. What game show included contestants, Tom Selleck, Michael Jackson, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Farrah Fawcett, and Joe Namath?. The Dating Game. Which weighs more, hot water or cold water? Cold water. According to the National Sausage and Hot Dog council, what did kids say they would prefer on their hot dogs as long as their mom wasn’t watching? Chocolate sauce. How many bolts of lightening strike each day in the United States (be within 50,000)? 250.000 per day.
Today is a where am I? In 2005 my estimated population was 1,333,000. Despite my northern location my climate is mild because of marine influences and numerous lakes. Russians constitute 25% of my population and minorities within my border include Finnish, Ukrainian, and Belarusian. The majority of those here that practice religion are members of either Evangelical Lutheran or the Russian Orthodox church. I gained independence in 1991. We are governed by the Constitution of 1992. We are the world’s second largest producer of oil. The president, who is the head of state but has little substantive power, is elected by parliament for a five-year term and is eligible for a second term. The government is headed by the prime minister, who is nominated by the president and approved by parliament. The unicameral Parliament has 101 members who are popularly elected to serve four-year terms. Administratively the country is divided into 15 counties. I’ve been owned at times by Poland, Sweden, Russia, and Germany. My capital city starts with the letter T. If the owner of The Dahn Report were within my borders what country would he be in?
Today is Update Day. You know the drill. Let me know everything going on in your life and in addition if you would like to share an act of kindness with us please do so. If you are new to the blog or have been reading the blog for a while and not posted we would love to know a little about you, so if the mood strikes you please introduce yourself. This is the day when there are no restrictions on what you do here. Post about any subject you damn well please!
For me the week was three days, two nights at Mom’s. A lot of birthday meals, lunches, and dinners out. And yesterday mom took me to a movie for a belated birthday gift, THE PROPOSAL. I will review it at some point but will just say now that it is such an effort for mom to get ready to go out, to switch from the wheelchair to the theater seats ,that I will enjoy any movie with her. Because when you first come into the movie it is so dark, I always take a little flashlight along. Then when Mom transfers from the wheelchair to the seat, I can use the flashlight to show her where she is and where she is going so that she doesn’t fall. Having that flashlight allowed me to do my act of kindness for the week. During the movie a woman that was using a cane and could barely walk got up to be taken to the rest room by her daughter. It was pretty dark and they looked like there were struggling, so I got up and used my flashlight to guide them to and to open the door for them.
That was my week. Now tell me about your week. Tell me everything!
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14 comments:
My week was so boring that I've already forgotten anything I did. Except try to find a place to put some CD money that would get decent interest. I failed.
My daughter and SIL are here and we are just hanging around today. Tomorrow we'll all go to hear her talk in Camarillo at the Channel Islands Linux Users Group meeting. After that, who knows? So I'm busy and mom is getting neglected a bit for a few days, though we may drop in on her later today for a short while. She won't be neglected, really, or only by me. Thank heavens I don't have to worry about whether she's cared for.
Sent you a third guess on the country... don't know if the third time is the charm, or if it even counts after two wrong ones.
Hi Pat
My week was kind of boring too!
I know you always enjoy your daughter and sil visiting. I bet she gives a dynamite speech tomorrow!!.
You deserve a break now and then from you mom!
We don't count the number of guesses as long as you got it right before I post the answer you are in.
Next official contest I am going to limit to first answer only, however.
Bill
My week has also been, for the most part, a bit on the boring side. But I will say to Pat that she is welcome to send the CD money to me and I will make sure it gets some interest.
:)(Laughter/jokes are what get me through the day)
Bill, it seems you are very kind not only to your mother but strangers as well. I hope the ladies were appreciative.
My week has been a struggle mentally as I find I am getting more and more frustrated being here in this situation. My dad is really doing very well with his health, but he is showing some stubbornness when it comes to taking the BP meds as prescribed. As usual in the spring/summer/fall months when he is more active with golf, his pressure drops very low with his BP meds. (remember the most recent fainting) He was told by the doc that it was ok to not take one of the meds for a 24 hr period to see that it comes back up. It didn't and he messed with it taking it off and on for several days until he let me know he was doing that and I told him to not take that particular one at all until his BP was higher. I called the Doc to see if that was ok and they said yes. But now he has decided on his own, he is not going to take any of them. I find myself wanting to agree with him at some point, but then my worry sensors kick in and wonder if I should dare to argue. I myself take a number of prescriptions and know that you should not particularly be your own doctor when it comes to some medicines. And I have no knowledge of the kinds he takes for his BP so therefore I just worry. (and yes I know I can just call the doc)
So I decided I needed to leave on a mini vacation if you will to just get away. By mini I mean at least a nite maybe 3 as funds won't allow much more. I never do that. I have never had the need to Get Away. But thought my sanity needed it as well as my husbands.
I thought it best to call my brother who lives a minute down the road to let them know of my being gone just to see if it was possible for them to check in on dad. (in case he faints again) My worst fear is that I leave and he faints and hurts himself..how could I live with myself for leaving him for some me time?
Even though I know in my heart they will not stop by and check on him, I felt the need to call, to sort of make sure all my bases were covered. What I got was "we are leaving such and such a date for OUR vacation"......and in so many words just don't mess our lives up. Or at least that is how I took it.
So needless to say we aren't going anywhere. And my mind is still cluttered with bad thoughts of my siblings.
Sorry to vent...but Bill keeps asking........:)
Hi Dona
Don't you ever be sorry for venting here. That is what this place is here for. For support. For getting anything off your chest that you want to.
I think you should take off and get some peace. You deserve a break, you deserve some sanity, you deserve some help. And you deserve it without guilt. If anything happens while your gone, you really have nothing to feel guilty about. You gave more to your mom than any daughter would have and you are giving more to your dad than any sibling. Go and don't feel guilty if anything happens.
I do know what you are feeling though. Sometimes my mom is a drama queen. And sometimes she really pisses me off. Yesterday we went to the movies. I had everything scheduled so we could get to the movie before they turned it dark so she could see better to transfer to her seat. I told her I would pick her up at 12:30. I got to her house at 12:30 and she was sitting there reading a book and not even close to being ready. We left at 12:50, so of course we got there in the dark. (I always prepare for drama queen so I had the before mentioned flashlight), It really ticked me off so I told her how rude I thought she was by not being ready. For the first fifteen minutes of the movie, I got how could you be so mean to me, and then after the movie, I got the chest pain thing. Of course, it was a message that her mean son is going to cause her a heart attack. I made sure she was OK, fixed her and the caregiver dinner and went home. Later that night, the caregiver had to leave for an hour long meeting, I gave mom a call and nobody answered. I'm, thinking yup that would be the exact time for mom to kick the bucket, the day I had an argument with her. I would feel guilty the rest of my freaking life. I rushed into mom's house again and she was sitting there reading. Didn't hear the phone. OK, this time I didn't get mad, I just turned up the volume on the phone, told her I loved her and then went home. But on the way home I decided enough is enough and I am not feeling guilty no matter what happens!
And you shouldn't either.
Enough of the vent and lecture!
Bill
Well, I continue to live the wild and exciting life here. Home duties in the AM, noon at the pool, afternoons wrapping and packing. With the addition of Wednesday line dance rehearsal for our show in the 8th, errands and laundry and groceries for Mom, that's my gay social whirl. And I find it tiring.
Dona, ease up on the guilt. You're not going to change your dad, as none of us are going to change our parents. Our moms and dads are going to continue to do as they d&mn wll please and expect us to go along and pick up the pieces, so long as we're willing to do so, as Bill pointed out in his response. I agree with him -- you and hubster need some time away and you more than deserve it. It's obvious you're getting no sibling support (welcome to our world). So, if it makes you feel less guilty, reschedule your "escape" for the day after bro returns to town and has no excuse for not taking responsibility. If anything happens, it's on his head, not yours. I think it's particularly difficult to deal with sibs, because you're taking all the responsibility and getting no support and the reality is the parent raised all of you, so, uh, how come you don't all get to share in reciprocating? Bottom line is your dad's not listening to you about his meds, you can leave meals for him to eat and make it clear bro is in charge and you'll be gone from x to x. This is called delegating. If dad or bro screw up, it's NOT your responsibility, hard as that is to get through our heads. Even before I knew Mom was moving, I'd gotten a glimmer of the reality -- I can't fix her problems, can't change her, can't make things all okay, without her cooperation, which is not forthcoming. I can only do the best I can with what I have to work with. I now remind myself of that every morning, before I head to her apt. There's no real cooperation from the sibs -- yes, Lake is driving her to AZ, but he's arriving the day after the loading is done and the truck leaves and leaving AZ before it arrives, unless it makes darned good time. Nothing from the CA contingent. No communication with AZ sister about anything connected with the move. So, fine. I pack, I number boxes, I list contents in a notebook and they figure it out when she gets there. I can't even label boxes for where they go, because for all I know everything goes in the garage! What is, is.
Don't beat yourself up for needing time for a sanity break. Take it. For you and the hubster both. I think, after a certain period of time, we begin to get a glimmer of what we're dealing with and even where we might be enabling on occasion. When we begin to see that and think about it, perhaps we get angry enough to decide we need to take care of ourselves, as well as our parents. We may want it all, but we can't do it all, not on our own, not without some cooperation from parents and sibs. That's the bottom line that's hard to accept.
Hi DR
You stay so darn busy!! I get exhausted reading what you do!
I think it stinks that Lake isn't coming early enough or staying late enough to help pack and unpack. Does he have a job that he has to schedule around? Or is he retired? It seems like the AZ sister would want to be a big part of the moving process!
Bill
L has a full time job, so he has to schedule vacation time, unless he's willing to take time without pay. This has been an educational year for him, as his m-i-l has had health problems that took his wife to PA, sometimes with him, so the two of them have pretty much had to use vacation time to care for mothers. To those who aren't accustomed to being self-employed and accepting that there are times you just don't get paid because of other priorities, I suspect it's been ... enlightening.
Don't know why D is so distanced from the move. I'd think (given she's as organized and anti-clutter as I am) that she'd want some semblance of order to things. She is, however, silent on the entire thing, beyond saying Mom should just move everything and they'll sort it out and see what the grandkids want and what they want and what works. I'm sure she has a plan, I just don't know what it is at this point. I'm thinking I'll mail her a typed copy of the box numbers and contents, in the event she wants to direct distribution when the truck arrives. I'm really trying to go with "what is, is" and not get bent out of shape over any of it.
Once again, I'm the fortunate one. As we pack, Mom tells short tales about where this or that came from and shares her memories in tales of the past. She and Deb will likely do some of that, but it's something the other two sibs will never enjoy or experience. It may slow the packing process, but it's giving me wonderful memories and picture of the last eighty or ninety years.
Bill said:
"We don't count the number of guesses as long as you got it right before I post the answer you are in.
Next official contest I am going to limit to first answer only, however."
So! You give with one hand and take away with the other. Okay, do your worst. I can take it! {g}
Dona, har-har! Somehow I don't think your interest is what I had in mind.
And all I can say is I don't blame you a bit for venting. I'd be throwing things if I were you. Sometimes I think it's just as well not to have siblings to "help". Especially if they don't help. Good advice from DR. Take it.
Bill, excellent advice to never feel guilty again. Er, lotsa luck on that one.
My weeks are always boring but I'm glad because I don't do DRAMA! I start up another class on Tuesday and I really just wish to crawl under the covers and do nothing. Bad, eh? Kidlet is well and driving me crazy as usual. Grandbaby is good and hope to see her tomorrow. On a more technical note, I got the new 32GB S iPhone! Daughter and son-in-law bought it for me. I'm getting a new Studio one 19 computer from Dell in about a week and can't wait! I'm just a gadget geek! I also bought a TV tuner for the computer and now I can watch TV and surf the web which is way cool! Howdy to everyone!
Thanks guys for all the advice, thoughts on guilt, etc....And thanks Symply for the email. Its funny as I know I am not in this alone (even though it feels like it) and whenever I come here and read things similar to what I go through it somehow makes it easier. It also has helped me not to think about it all so much to get if off my chest here. Sometimes when certain things like the siblings not helping, me getting some me time, dad not being the dad I expected, get me down, I think about it all too much and don't talk about it just keep it all in. I let the Shankster vent to me and feel that I cannot do a lot of the same back to him as I am sure he would just lose it. I have let this bother me too much of late and after speaking here have felt so much better. Yeah even though there are not ample funds to leave for a day or two, I am sure now I will...and almost don't care that the bro will be gone too. I am ready to go somewhere even if its just a couple of hours from here to a motel to sleep, eat and shower for a couple of nights with some privacy!
Pat, too bad as I was way interested in it...and my interest was very high too! :)
Hi DR
Then I am a little more understanding of L and am appreciating him even making the effort to make the effort to drive you mom to Az. Sounds like he is getting a dose of reality in his life and soon will be understanding all that you went through with your mom.
I'm guessing D may have also had a dose of reality and maybe be having doubts. I think you are doing more than anyone would by marking the box and typing up an index of the boxes for her.
Are you recording the stories?
Bill
Hi Pat
It is just that in the last contest everyone got them all right and the next contest I want a clear winner!!
I'm really going to try not to feel quilty. I've done a lot for both mom and dad. A lot more than my brother who probably will never feel guilty and a little more then my sister who has done a lot but will probably always feel guilty.
Bill
Hello There Symply
Good to see you. You should try drama once in a while!
You are another one that stays to busy and deserves some rest!
Glad Kidlet and grandbaby are well.
Those new tools sound delightful!
Bill
Hi Dona
A couple of times I have went to a local hotel just for a change. And had a ball. Room service, movies, etc. It was really energizing. And while there you can pray that the powerball jackpot gets up, that a certain doofus wins it, and then consider your preference. Paris, Indiana or Paris, France. And remember days away are cheaper than a nervous breakdown.
And remember the worse thing you can do is hold things in. Come here anytime and vent. It doesn't even have to be Update Day to vent, we have no rules here.
Bill
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