Saturday, October 16, 2010

Going Pink To Honor Loved Ones.



The answer to yesterday's Who Am I was Sally Ride.

For today I am going pink. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. Today is all about women. Well not really because men suffer from breast cancer too. One of our good friends dad had breast cancer. Over nineteen hundred men each year are diagnosed with breast cancer. One percent of the twenty thousand annual breast cancer patients are men. That means nineteen thousand women are diagnosed each year with breast cancer. To many of either gender. Today is women's issues with a little men thrown in.

What is Breast Cancer Awareness Month?

http://www.nbcam.org/

What is the history of the pink ribbon?

http://www.syl.com/articles/informationonthebreastcancerpinkribbon.html

There was a ton of information on both those web sites. Pass on the links if you desire.

One of the hard things for all of us when someone has cancer is how we best can support them. Do we even bring up the subject? What can we do to help? We are lucky to have in our midst the author of When Someone You Love Has Cancer, DanaRae Pomeroy. When I was donating my time at a cancer research center we gave the book to the relatives of patients. While it is out of print there are copies available on amazon.com. Here is a link to the page where you can order it:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=danarae+pomeroy

There is also one copy in stock at powells.com. They are also noted for ordering out of print books. Here is the link to the order page:

http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9780425151297-2

A reader's review of When Someone You Love Has Cancer: "The author does a marvelous job of taking a compassionate journey through a family that has a member with cancer. This is a book that should be on the table of every oncologist in America. The book is written from the heart by a non-medical professional that speaks to a family in the way a doctor seldom can. I give it a 10."

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I am going to let today be a day where you honor friends or relatives that suffered from any form of cancer by posting their names in the comment section. They can be those you lost, those that survived, or those currently suffering. No rules other than to honor loved ones.

Besides honoring your friends and relatives any other comments are always welcome.

5 comments:

William J. said...

I'll start

My mom had uterine cancer in her thirties. Sixty years later she is still kicking.

My cousin Lavelle, if you remember from previous posts she was diagnosed with two active cancers. One has went into remission. The other is contained that treatment is required. Your vibes worked.

My cousin Jack. A year ago he was given six months. He gets tired but still enjoys life.

My friend Mikki. She died in her her thirties. Much to young.

Lady DR said...

Good articles, Bill, thanks for posting. Yes, I was aware some companies use the pink ribbon and don't really contribute to the cause. There are some who use the ribbon, then make a small, token donation. I think they ought to be sued and fined for fraud, quite frankly.

Thanks for the "plug" for the book. I often wish it was still in print, but the publisher's opinion was that there was no market for it. While I wrote for families who were dealing with cancer, my hope was it would be marketed to oncologists, cancer centers, hospice groups and the like. I was frequently asked to talk to local groups. Had my original acquisition editor not left before the book was released, I think that would have happened. Please be aware, another book, with the same title, different author, was issued a month after mine, so you do need to look at the author's name. I've no idea if her book is still available.

Meantime, if anyone here is dealing with cancer and has questions about coping or supporting the patient and his/her family, I'm always available to try to offer helpful ideas. You can contact me or send emails to Bill to forward.

Bill, I'm so glad to hear Lavelle's gone into remission on one cancer and the other is contained. Also glad Jack continues to enjoy life. I'm sorry to hear about Mikki.

There are so many in my family to remember. My great grandmother, who died of cancer when I was seven and my grandmother who passed before I was born. My mom's dad, who died of leukemia, when I was five - I remember my cousin and I were "responsible" for tying his shoes and getting his crutches. My father, who passed away in 1978. My husband and my best friend's husband, who passed within three weeks of each other in 1985, one from lymphoma (Agent Orange) and one from asbestos-caused cancer (Coast Guard engine rooms). It was after that, I started the book. My two brothers-in-law, who passed within two weeks of each other, five years ago. Our bright spot is my aunt, Mom's sister, who had breast cancer twice, two mastectomies, and is celebrating her 90th birthday next month.

As to supporting those with cancer, let them lead the way. Some are in denial, some want to discuss the issue. Equally important, please remember that a cancer diagnosis means the whole family (and often friends) are dealing with cancer. "We" have cancer may sound strange, but it impacts the entire family. Please take care of the care giver and children, as well as the patient, because the odds are good they're not taking care of themselves.

Pat said...

I didn't know the history of the pink ribbon, so that was interesting, as was the warning that some companies take advantage of it.

I'll second all the kudos for DR's book; I read it and found it very helpful even though I was not dealing with anyone with cancer.

I've been fortunate in that my family (at least on my mother's side, which is the only one I know anything about) doesn't seem big on the cancer gene. Now having said that, I'll probably get dx'd with ca in a week. Sigh.

I have lost one longtime friend to breast cancer. She was in denial the whole time, at least 5 years. She distrusted doctors' "slash & burn" (her phrase) advice, so went with all kinds of alternative approaches, all of which failed her in the end.

Another very longtime friend had some sort of abdominal ca. She worked all through her chemo, never lost her hair, and has been dubbed cancer-free for several years now.

I recently read something about Barbara Ehrenreich's most recent book: "Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America", which apparently came about because during a bout with breast cancer, she was constantly chided by friends for her anger and distress, and exhorted to 'think positive'. I can certainly see how a person would be upset with too much advice of that sort under the circumstances. The book apparently ranges much more widely than her personal experience, but I was reminded of it and thought I'd mention it at least.

William J. said...

Hi DR

I really like the two posts. Yours and Pat's.

First, the links in the article in reference to your book take you to your book page on the sites. The one authored by you. There is also a third book just recently released with the same title written by a man. If you do an Internet search of When Someone You Love Has Cancer his is the book that comes up. So if anyone is reading this make sure you use the links in my post to order the best of the three books. DanaRae's

I also think companies that use the pink ribbon and then a small donation should be sued. There are some good companies that make large donations but the other ones I'd put their executives in jail.

Your publisher chose the wrong market in my opinion. The market was doctors, hospitals, and cancer research centers.

We are so fortunate to have you hear. Thank you so much for offering to help those suffering now. I will gladly forward any emails I receive. And they don't even have to come from posters. They can come from readers too.

The news about Lavelle was just stunningly good news and came this week.

Here is to your:

Great Grandmother, your grandmother, your dad, your husband, your best friend's husband, your two brothers-in-law, and your aunt.

And thank you for bringing up that cancer is a family disease and I think in some way a neighborhood disease. And also thank you for mentioning the caregivers.

Bill

William J. said...

Hi Pat

Like I told DR I loved yours and her posts.

I didn't know a thing about the pink ribbon which is why I researched in this morning. There were several articles out there but I picked this one because it mentioned the lousy companies to watch out for.

God I hope you don't get diagnosed in a week. I am just not going to allow it!

I agree with your friend that doctors sometimes are to quick to cut. I also think some alternative treatments have had success.

What a great success story for your other friend.

I also agree with Barbara the author. When I was in the hospital for that long period of time I used to extremely resent it when visitors would tell me how lucky I was. On some level you know you are lucky you didn't die but on the other level you don't want some healthy person that is standing in front of you that can participate in all facets of life telling you how lucky your when the only facet of life you can participate is to eat lousy hospital food and the most exciting thing in any week is a sponge bath given to you by a hunderd year old nurse. I'm very glad you mentioned the book. Thank you.

Bill