The Transformation is Beginning & I'm Scared

The first class isn't until Monday night but I have resdiscovered my ability to obsessively worry about events days, weeks, and sometimes months in advance.

I was really fine until the sister event. I don't really need to shop for clothes. Groceries, suits, cars, shoes definitely but daily wear no. That is because my Mom, sister, and sister-in-law like to dress me. Usually when they buy me clothes it means 1) It is my birthday, 2) It is Christmas, 3) There is a special event coming up or 4) It is a statement (That leisure suit is nice but do you really think it is still in style? Nice Nehru jacket but maybe you should try something different.)

Sister and her husband left here Thursday morning. I didn't really worry about the guest room because sis always leaves things spotless so I didn't check out the guest room until Friday morning. On the bed was a nice new pair of slacks with a nice note (actually it was an order). "Thank you for allowing us to stay with you, here are slacks to wear to your class Monday night" OK, it isn't my birthday, it isn't Christmas, since I gave the leisure suit and the Nehru jacket to Goodwill a couple of months ago it isn't a statement, that means sis is considering the class a special event. Oh, Oh. I immediately went into special event mode, got a haircut, took a picture of the slacks and headed out to Macy's. Stopped by the men's scents counter and the really nice lady there connected me with not one but two bottles of new high quality cologne. One for day. One for night. I didn't really know that there were different colognes for night and day but it is amazing what you can learn when you throw yourself on the mercy of a woman. Azzaro Chrome for day. Azzaro Legend for night. I'm not sure it is good stuff because I put some on and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Nobody attacked me but the bearded lady from the circus did say hi. After the cologne purchase I took the picture of the slacks and went up to the men clothes section and again begged a woman to help me. Got a really nice shirt that she said went with the slacks. OK, I just need some new shoes to go with the studly outfit. Get those tomorrow.


Part of special event mode is to obsessively worry. I've gotten so good at worrying that I can tell you the exact number of hours that I will be sweating. It is approxmiately sixty hours until the class starts. Sleep equals sixteen hours. Today I am going to a French film, Tell No One. I chose that because it is playing only at one theater and it is in downtown Portland. With travel time and movie time that is five hours. Then two hours a day on the blog. One hour listening to a podcast. Brunch with Ted Sunday morning five hours, we have a lot to say. Taking mom to lunch and shopping, four hours. Reading the daily newspaper, an hour a day. Walking is an hour a day. The driving range is also an hour a day. That leaves fourteen hours of worry and sweat.

Any suggestions what I can do during those fourteen hours to take my mind off of future events? I would really prefer that you don't suggest skydiving or a body wax but other than that I am open for suggestions.

Laughter

I think we all need to laugh more so I am declaring today joke day on the blog. Post jokes here. Who knows you may catch me in a week moment and I may give a prize for the best jokes. They can be groan jokes like:

Do you know how to make a Swiss Roll? Push him down the Alps.

Or they can be from a comedy routine of one of your favorite comedians. Like from Larry the Cable Guy, these are curtesy of Kaye:

1.) On the other hand, you have different fingers.

2.) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

3.) He who laughs last, thinks slowest

4.) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

5.) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

6.) How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

Or it can be a bumper sticker that you saw like the following:

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

And what about personal stories? Surely you have had funny things that have happened to you in your life. Now is the time to share them.

OK, it is your turn to make us laugh and maybe win a prize!

Labor Day, Encore Careers, Beginnings, Endings.

First, the facts


Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September. The holiday originated in 1882 as the Central Labor Union (of New York City) sought to create "a day off for the working citizens".Congress made Labor Day a federal holiday in 1894.[1] All fifty states have made Labor Day a state holiday. Labor Day has been celebrated on the first Monday in September in the United States since the 1880s. The form for the celebration of Labor Day was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday—a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations," followed by a festival for the workers and their families. This became the pattern for Labor Day celebrations. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civil significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.
Today, Labor Day is often regarded as a day of rest and compared to the May 1 Labour Day celebrations in most countries; parades, speeches or political demonstrations are more low-key, although events held by labor organizations often feature political themes and appearances by candidates for office, especially in election years. Forms of celebration include picnics, barbecues, fireworks displays, water sports, and public art events.


Now The Reality.

When when we were growing up Labor Day was both an end and a beginning. It was an end of summer. The end of pickup baseball games, trips to Disneyland, San Francisco, Yellowstone or just plain camping. The end of play. It was also a beginning, the beginning of a new school year where you connected with old friends and met new ones.

I was thinking a lot of beginnings and ends today when I first got up and then in the paper was an article titled "When 'Encore Careers' Call. It was all about people in their forties, fifties, sixties, and even seventies ending life long careers and going back to community college to learn new ones. According to a statistic in the article one-sixth of students taking credit classes are over forty. This is really striking. Read this really fun and informative article here:

http://www.oregonlive.com/living/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/living/1220055906320310.xml&coll=7

Thinking about my own life I've decided there are several beginnings and ends. The comedy class that I have already talked to much about and will bore you to death with the next eight weeks is certainly a beginning of a new phase of life. It will also, hopefully, be an ending, an end to excuriating shyness which could lead to new beginnings in other areas of my life.

Since we talk about caregiving I can see some beginnings and endings in caregiving. With dad each day was like a new beginning because we never really knew what man we would get or where he would be. Some days he would be in the here and now, some days he would be in his childhood. I always viewed it as tragic but maybe if I had viewed each day as a new beginning I could have handled it better.

With Mom, most days seem the same. While she reads two books a week, plays bridge, bingo, etc. she seems mostly maintaing as oppossed to beginning something new. She seems mostly waiting for the end, the real end. Makes me wonder if I can direct her towards something new to learn. Maybe I can get her to take up painting again.

The question of the day is what do you see ending in your life if not now, in the near future, and what do you see beginning if not now, in the near future. Also what do you see beginning and ending in the elderly parent that you are caring for?

Wishing you all happy endings and challenging beginnings!

Question of The Day

My favorite posts are the ones that are interactive and the ones where I get to learn more about you.

A couple of things first. I have gone from being scared about the comedy class to being excited about it because of the positive feedback I am getting and sometimes the feedback comes from the least expected source. My sister told my mom she thought it was a great idea, quoting sis to mom "this could be a new career for him, he is really funny." I'm not looking for a new career just more confidence. The weird thing is that the support from all of you here, from family, and friends has already given me more confidence. So part of the goal has been met just by thinking about the class! Thank you all for that.

Tomorrow mom and I are going to church. The minister that we have had for several years is embarking on a new career and tomorrow will be his last Sunday. We want to support him in his new endeavor, say good bye, and wish him luck.

Today it is football city. A friend invited me to the Portland State vs. Western Oregon football game at 1 today. Of course we have to go early to experience the tailgating! Should make for a fun day.

Now the question of the day. Let say you are sitting home quietly enjoying the evening and the phone rings. The regular speaker for church, book club, women's club, Rotary Club, etc. has canceled their appearance on one day's notice and they have asked you to fill in. What would you give your speech/sermon on? Mine would be one of two, Never Give Up or Love Yourself.

OK, your turn.

May you love yourself today!

The Waiver, Epitaths, and Who Will Succeed Me?

I registered for the comedy class and they sent me a waiver to sign. It looks like this class may be dangerous and I may not survive all eight weeks of it alive.

http://www.comedysportz.com/portland/waiver_form.pdf

Of course since I want to take the class I am going to sign the waiver. However, since it may be a killer class it brings up several questions.

What do you think my epitath should be? (Maybe "he died laughing")

What one phrase would you use for an epitath that would either define you or your life?

And if I don't survive the class which one of you would like to take over my blog and keep it going? Maybe a relay team with each one of you taking a week, that way the blog could keep going for a few weeks after my demise.

The waiver has me contemplating so many things!

May this be a great day for all of you!

Handicapping Dancing With The Stars 7.

In the order of first eliminated.

All Pro Football player Warren Sapp and my favorite Kym Johnson (met her at a tour)

Comedian Jeffrey Ross and the body Edyta Sliwinska

81 year-old actress Gloris Leachman and Corky Ballas (Mark's dad)

Ted McGinley, Happy Days Actor, and new pro Inna Brayer

Reality actress and despicable human being Kim Kardashian and pro Mark Ballas

Singer Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer. Pat you should remember the new pro, Lacey, she was a finalist on So You Think You Can Dance.

Susan Lucci , 61, All My Children Actress and pr o Tony Dovolani.

Model, hostess Brook Burke and Derek Hough.

Pop Singer Toni Braxton and Alex Mazo

Freguent Top Chef guest judge Rocco DiSpirito

Cody Linley, 18, of Hannah Montana and Julianne Hough

Olympic Medalist once deemed the fastest man in the world, Maurice Greene and pro
Cheryl Burke.

And the winner is:

Olympic medalist and volley ball star Misty May-Treanor and pro Makism Cherkovsky

I reserve the right to update my picks after each week.

So what does everyone else think?

Who Inspires You?

I made the comment that generally throughout my life that women inspired me and men disappointed me. Sure there were some exceptions to that rule, my dad, the dean of men in high school who trusted me completely without any strings attached, and the doctor that stood faithfully beside me during the eight year recovery. However, generally there never has been a truer statement about my life.

Here is part of a message Lady Dr posted in response to my claim:

Interesting, your comment that, generally,women have inspired and men disappointed. With a couple of exceptions, I've found just the opposite. Men have inspired and even "pushed" me to test and try and explore, while women have often discouraged or explained (sometimes at length) why it "couldn't be."As I say, there have been exceptions, CJ certainly being one and some of the S16 group, but by and large it's been men who've provided me motivation and support. I don't think this is the place to get into that -- you have plenty of response! -- but it might be an interesting issue to explore in the future, do you think? I mean, are you and I "strange" or have others found the same to be true. Not that we can have a balanced discussion, since we don't seem to have other guys here... and that raises another interesting question of "how come?" You can't be the only intelligent, sensitive man on the earth who's capable of communication, can you? Then again...



OK two questions everyone. When you look at your life, then and now, who inspires you the most men or women? Why don't you think there are more men posting on this blog?

I'm looking forward to your answers.

Should I Go Out of My Comfort Zone?

I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I am going to ask your help in me making what very well could be a life changing decision and you deserve all the facts before giving me that help.

The last time I went out of my comfort zone I started this blog. What some of you might not know is that I am an extremely private person that has a very difficult time talking about his emotions. That is why I started the blog, to learn how to put my emotions out there, to improve my writing skills, to meet new people, and to get some feedback. Letting go of my privacy issues on some days has been really difficult but when I've done it, it has been really rewarding. Although the blog is out of my comfort zone it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. All of you have taught me that sharing my feelings won't get me killed, quite the contrary it will result in support of some wonderful women out there. Mary, Mary Z, Lady DR, Dona, Lisa, Kaye, Bev, Sian, Kim, Janet, Pat, Ellen, Symply, Snugpug, Shirley, and numerous others have been a treasure to have here. I cannot tell you how much you have helped me and how much of a better man I am for knowing each and everyone of you. Going out of my comfort zone worked once, can it twice? And on a much larger scale?

I've been thinking a lot about my life and I have come to the conclusion that women inspire me and men usually disappoint me (Dad being the exception). I am thinking about going way outside of my comfort zone because once again two women have inspired me. The words of one woman that I know and the actions of a woman I don't know, have never met, and probably will never meet have inspired me to the point that I am seriously considering doing something completely outside of my comfort zone. At the end of this post I want you all to tell me should I stretch the limit of my pysche or find another venue a little less outside my comfort zone?

Mary when I asked what I could do to make my blog better you posted a comment that has had a huge impact on me. That comment was that in person that I was one of the funniest men that you know. That comment made me feel great and is a big part of me seriously considering taking comedy classes. I truly would rather have all ten fingers and ten toes amputated then ever get in front of an audience but you have a least given me the strength to consider it.

Now the woman that I don't know, have never met, and probably will never meet used to be a co-hostess of a radio show and now is a co-hostess of a podcast. I'm not doing names because I just think it could be perceived as unethical that I might be using her name to build up my blog traffic. That isn't and never will be me. I love the podcasts, it is five women hosting a tri-weekly podcast. The podcasts are often informative and more often very funny. Here is a link to their podcasts, http://www.satellitesisters.com/audio.html. One of their funniest segments is called The Lab Rats, where two of the hostesses test consumer products. Here is a link to that segment of the show, http://www.satellitesisters.com/labrats.html.

I started listening to them on the radio last October. I've learned something from all five of the hostesses but I gravitated towards one because she is so open about her life and her life seems to be the most like mine. A wicked self-depreciating sense of humor, somewhat insecure, and seemingly not much direction in her life. Like the female me. She mentioned on one of her podcasts in late March that she was taking comedy classes. Watching from afar her transformation from then to now has been really an eye opener for me. Here is her final exam, her own standup gig.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1740031522

What I see in that video is a self-confident woman that knows exactly what she wants. I think she has the level of talent that she will eventually be a pretty well known comic.

Combining Mary's words with the above lady's transformation has lead me to really think about how I can obtain what I want in life. When I walk into an IRS audit I walk in with the attitude that my client is in the best hands that they could possibly be in and when I leave that room I will leave it with the auditor's respect and the client's loyalty. I want that kind of confidence in my social life. I've come to the conclusion that if I want someone in my life there is a better chance if I ask someone for a date. I just have to get to the point that if I ask someone there is no way they can say no.

Which brings me to the class that I am thinking about taking. Here is a link with some information about it http://www.portlandcomedy.com/workshops/index.html

I'm not looking for a new career. I'm not looking for a new venue to express myself. I'm looking to be a better and more confident person. I'm also looking for more direction in my life. Maybe improve my creativity and writing. Can this class do it for me?

Starting this blog was like jumping off a three foot cliff, taking a comedy class is like jumping out of an airplane at 20,000 feet. What will you all think of me if I sign up for the class then after two weeks drop out in a pool of sweat?

The blog is now in your hands. This one time I'm not asking for kindness and niceness, I want brutal honesty. If you think this is one of the stupidiest ideas that I've ever considered and completely wrong for me by all means say so.

Busy But Boring

Life has been pretty busy with a lot of company and a lot of meetings so there really hasn't been a lot to write about the past few days. Today I am just posting miscellaneous items about the week that was.

Here was an article in yesterday's The Oregonian about the company that owns the assisted living center where mother is at:

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/08/debt_weighs_down_assisted_livi.html

I don't agree with the representative of Sun West as I think their financial straits has affected the care of residents. It shows up in several ways. One is the diet. The diet they now have is a terrible diet for anyone let alone senior citizens. I have a hunch the diet is the way it is because of cost cutting. It also shows up in staff turnover. They don't pay well and don't have any benefits so as soon as a better job comes along the residential aides are gone. It also shows up in the facility being short staffed. I am hoping that now the financial straits of the company is out in the open that the publicity will force them to at least improve their diet options.

I was at mom's facility a couple of times last week for meals. One expected, one unexpected. I am learning that senior citizens are really recycled college students living in a dorm with all the social clashes that the college dorm had. At the facility where mom is at they have the main building which is where the assisted living portion of the facility is. Outside of the building they have cottages which are independent living. The insiders get three meals a day, the cottages get one meal a day. Mom has become friends with a couple that live in the cottage and they always sit together for lunch. At dinner mom sits with a different couple. Both couples are very nice but I found out somewhat territorial. When I had lunch with mom on Monday we sat with the cottage couple. Wow did the dinner couple ever get hurt and upset that I didn't sit with them. So in order of peace in the world and assisted living centers, I went out to dinner at mom's the next night and sat with the dinner couple. Whew, tragedy avoided.

Wednesday we met with the guy that is going to remodel mom's house. That took a couple of hours. I really like what is going to be done because it is basically going to turn a somewhat unusable den into a third bedroom. I'm kind of excited about it and so is mom.

Yesterday my nephew, my brother's son, and his wife visited mom and I. My nephew is the one that I have kind of become a surrogate dad to. They live a couple of hours from here in a city, Eugene, that is the home of the University of Oregon. The reason they are here is that my nephew has a job interview today. The plant that he worked at for twenty years as an engineer in Eugene closed and left over 200 people unemployed. My nephew has already interviewed in Wyoming and was offered a job there. He hasn't really decided whether or not he wants to move so decided to explore one opportunity in Portland before making a decision. Your prayers and good thoughts or welcome.

Which brings us to my brother. Your prayers and good thoughts certainly helped him. Remember he tore the ligaments in his leg playing tennis and was to be on crutches for more than ten weeks. He had never had a serious injury before so we were concerned he would get bored and reinjure himself. Didn't happen. He went to the doctor Monday. Bro has been doing everything the doctor has said to do and it has paid off. After just six weeks he is "boot only" which means he is off of crutches in just six short weeks. Way to go folks!!

In a future blog post I may be asking you to help keep from doing something really stupid that I am seriously considering doing unless of course you don't think it is stupid and encourage me to do it then I will be really confused! I am not sure when that post will be as I have to really reconcile what I am considering doing in my own mind. Stay tuned.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

Pictures of Some Things In The Trunk

Hi everyone. In the trunk was an envelope with stuff that was my Great Grandfather and my Great Grandmother's stuff. My Great Grandfather was a stage coach driver in the South Dakota territories. During his stint as a stage coach driver he became friends with Sitting Bull. There were letters between the two in the trunk. Great Grandfather visited Sitting Bull when Sitting Bull was in jail. While in jail Sitting Bull made a purse for my Great Grandfather. I have that purse in a safe deposit box. Some of you have already seen a picture of the purse but I am adding the purse picture to the pictures of the stuff found in the trunk because it fits in so well.

Ok here we go.

This is a picture of my Great Grandmother's going to church purse. During those days the purse
was worn around and dangled from the wrist:
















This is the picture of the purse made by Sitting Bull for my Greatn Grandfather. It was authincated by the Native American Museum in South Dakota as his work. It is completely hand made. Isn't it beautiful?












I thought about holding a contest where you would guess what some of this stuff was but then I thought nobody would know. This is a boot buttoner. Great Grandfather used it to button their boots:

This is a pen. Really a quill. Great Grandfather used it in his duties as a stage coach driver to sign for documents he picked up to deliver:

This is Great Grandfather's shaver:











Anyone know what this is? It is a Great Grandfather's letter opener:










These are my Great Grandmother's reading glasses:

May this be a day of finding treasures for you.

He Really Loved Her

First, Mom has decided to stay in assisted living until October 15. Then unless things change with her health she will move home. This will give us time to remodel her house and also in a month the picture will be clearer about what is up with sister and her house.

Second, as you all know every Friday we have be going to mom's house and going through things to either throw away, give to a relative, or to give to goodwill. Friday we came across this trunk that turned out to be a gold mine. Tomorrow you get pictures of treasures, today you get emotion because some of the things we found were quite touching. If you stick with me the title of the post will become very clear at the end of this post.

Besides letters from Sitting Bull to my great grandfather in the trunk there were letters from mom's students telling her what a great teacher she was and how she had impacted them. After some hurtful statements from my sister during the phone call deciding what to do about mom's move this was like a miracle drug to change Mom's emotions from sad to happy. There were also many letters from the three of us kids to mom and dad telling them what great parents they were. This was a very good timing find.

When I was in high school my brother's best friend was Ronnie H.. My brother and him were the backfield on the football team. They helped form the best team that our high school had in years. The paper referred to them as "the dynamic duo". I played but not often, I have good athletic skills but you needed great skills to play on that team. The coach was always lecturing my brother and Ronnie, "if either one of you had Bill's drive or will to win or Bill had your talent there never would be anyone to set the records you could accomplish." Of course those kind of statements didn't help me. It lead to brother and Ronnie torturing and making insane fun of me on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. So naturally I didn't think Ronnie liked me and I didn't really like him. In the trunk was a letter from Ronnie to my parents. It was when I was recovering from the car accident. It was an eye opener, here is part of it "I know Bill will recover fully. He has such strong emotional character. I've watched him in life in general and in sports competitions. He never makes a big deal of it but he always gets the job done." The kid that made a career out of making fun of me had such a good opinion of me. What an eye opener, you just never know do you?

Now about the real treasure that was in the trunk. There was a letter in it from my dad to my mom's mom telling her that mom was on the train heading home and that she took the news that her dad wasn't going to live like the amazing woman he knew she was. There were also letters from my dad to my mom. Love letters. Heart piercing love letters. Emotions I never thought my dad had. Funny, warm, but most of all very romantic. Those letters left no doubt that my dad loved mom and loved her exclusively. They did bring many tears to my eyes. Many people have said I am like my dad and I always took it as a compliment, it is even more of a compliment now. Just as an example of how dad loved mom I am going to end with a proverb that dad ended some of his letters to mom with. "A great lover doesn't romance a different woman every night, a great lover romances one woman for a lifetime." Then dad would had "you are that woman for me." How romantic is that?

Tomorrow you get pictures. May this be a romantic day for all of you.

No Pain, No Gain

Most of you know about the accident that left my left foot partially paralyzed. It doesn't keep me from doing things it just makes it harder for me to do those things. I can dance, but with limited movement in the foot it makes it harder for me to dance than those with normal movement in their foot. I can run but again with limited movement, it makes it harder for me to run than the normal dudes.

Another problem is sometimes with limited circulation there will be blisters or sores on the foot that have to be surgically removed. I usally have it done twice a year. It is an out patient surgery and really doesn't take very long but it keeps me inactive for a day. After the office visit I am requested by the doctor to stay off of my foot for 24 hours and to use a cane for a day to take the weight off. After the 24 hours I am back to the way I was before. So that is where I was yesterday. Sitting in an easy chair finishing the Harlen Coban novel and hobbling around my house.

At the doctor yesterday I got some absolutely amazing news. Good news. I have always had feeling in the left foot but that feeling is mostly pain, not really severe pain more like a minor toothache. In the past two months that pain has intensified. Some days really intense mind blowing pain. Before the procedure/surgery yesterday I brought it up with the doctor. It turns out that the pain is a great thing. After all these years the nerves are starting to regenerate and I am getting both more feeling and more movement in the foot!! It will never be a 100% but the doctor thinks it may get up to as much as 80% from about the 40% it is now. The doctor has no idea why the nerves started to regenerate, it could be all the walking, it could be the weight loss, or it simply could be a miracle. I really don't care why, I am just happy about this. I've never felt better about pain! I am so excited I can hardly type this. I did want to share this with my friends here. Thank you all for being a part of my life!

May miracles happen for you today!

Miscellaneous Notes

Not much going on in the Dahn household today except for a pretty important meeting tonight which I will report on later in this entry but first a couple of miscellaneous notes.

For those of you caring for elderly parents you might want to visit the following web sites:

http://www.visitingangels.com/

http://eldercare.com/

Both offer a ton of support and suggestions and even provide information on how you can get a break from caregiving.

For the Dancing With The Stars fans the latest rumors have Tom Selleck and Toni Braxton competing on the show. Lance Bass is still in but won't be dancing with a man. Dan Quayle is out.

Now about the meeting tonight. Mom and I are meeting with a caregiver to see if she will be available for when mom goes home. We have another caregiver hiding in the wings that has committed to help mom going home. We really need three to take the caregiving burden off of me. Mom is now wavering between going home and staying where she is at. My sister suggested she wait another month before making the decision. I like the idea of mom waiting a month before deciding what to do for several reasons, of course some of them selfish. I like waiting because I've adjusted to mom being in assited living and my life seems more full this way. That is the selfish reason. The unselfish reason is if mom really wanted to go home she would have given her thirty day notice by now and the fact that hasn't tells me she is having second thoughts. The other reason for waiting is Sis is trying to sell her house in Salt Lake City and if they do so her and her husband will move here for the winter. That takes away a need for one caregiver and also relieves my burden. Sis feels she will know more about the house selling in thirty days and if mom waits thirty days to give her notice there may be more information for mom to make the right decision. The bad thing about waiting thirty days is the caregiver we have hiding in the wings needs a job and won't wait that long to be hired. OK, here are the choices:

Mom gives her notice on the 15th of August and moves home the 15th of September.

Mom delays making a decision for a month and then decides what she wants to do.

OK, everyone both mom and I need some guidance. Please pray for us to receive that guidance or for those that don't prayer muster up are you good vibes that an answer presents itself to us.

May this be a great day for all of you.

John Edwards

Used to be my hero. I wanted to be like him. Now I all I see is a despicable human being. As someone who has represented clients through divorces brought on by affairs I can respect no man that would cause that kind of pain to his family and to have an affair when his wife and children needed his support the most just makes him a person that has to improve to be a bottom feeder.

How hard can it be for a married man to say to a woman "You are an attractive lady but I am married to the woman I love and would never do anything to endanger the love we have between us. So thanks but no thanks." Why don't men in power have the backbone to support their wives in a loving and caring way?

There are men that don't have affairs. My dad was married to my mom for over sixty years. He never had an affair. I know this because the week he died when we were saying our good byes to each other he told me that in sixty years he never cheated on mom because he never found a woman he loved as much as her or a woman as good as her. He told me he treasured every moment with her. He said his one wish for me was to find a woman that I loved as much as he loved mom to share my life with. He told me that if I did find that woman never to cheat on her because cheating was stealing.

That is what both John Edwards and the woman that he had an affair with did, they stole from Elizabeth Edwards and the Edwards family. They stole time and support that rightfully belonged to Elizabeth Edwards and the Edwards children.

Now John Edwards wants forgivenes. He isn't getting mine.

Kaye's Jewelry

When we were getting to know each other some of you expressed an interest in seeing Kaye's Creations. I was really struck by the beauty of her work. She is really creative! Isn't this stuff beautiful?

Success Is Hard To Live Up To

After the great response and how much fun we had with getting to know each other it is going to be hard to come up with new posts that even come close to the success of the last one. Questioning whether or not I can live up to the success of the last post helped me to come up with some questions for all of you. Following along with the theme of getting to know each other here are a list of questions:

1. What do you fear most success or failure?

I have had my share of both so really don't fear either. What I do know that is that I am a lot more successful at things if someone tells me I can't do something. Then I feel the need to prove them wrong and usually do.

2. Since all the posters here are women I am really curious as to what you look for in a man and if what you look for in a man is different if you are looking for a man for a long term relationship or a short term relationship?

What I look for in a woman isn't looks. You can lose weight, educate yourself, get a new hairstyle, what you can't do is change the basic character. What I look for in a woman is a sense of humor, similiar values, and that they like me. If they enjoy being with me that takes the pressure off and I can be more myself.

3. If you could choose the perfect career for you what career would you choose?

Mine would be motivational speaker. Which is weird because standing up in front of an audience and speaking scares the heck out of me.

4. This one is specifically for Pat. Where you happy with the winner of So You Think You Can Dance?

I was.

5. Of course the often asked question is next. What would you do if you won the lottery?

I would start a foundation named after my mom and dad whose main focus would be threefold:

A. Breast cancer research. B. Funds to give to the elderly that couldn't afford their own caregivers. C. Organ transplants.

Of course I would set aside a lot of funds to have one heck of a good time. Travel more.

Your turn.

SSA, Swing Vote, and Who Are You?

Here is the link to the second in a series of two articles about social security disability as being reported on by The Oregonion:

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1217724908140440.xml&coll=7

Not much to report on in the Dahn household this week. Golf is getting better. Weights are helping my arms getting stronger. Now within 12 pounds of my goal. Still single and looking for the love of my life. Mom has definitely decided to move home in September. We are interviewing caregivers today. I am hoping we find enough so that I can have some freedom.

Went to the movie SWING VOTE starring Kevin Costner. It wasn't that great of a movie but kept you entertained for a couple of hours. Hated the ending. Not rating it yet because I just honestly don't know how I feel about it. Probably two footballs. One for child actress Madeline Carroll who was just great in this and one for the secret service agent that protects her. They were really the stars of the movie.

Ok, if you are interested in letting people know who you are I would love it if the posters and/or readers posted a little bio of themselves. You can post whatever you want nothing is required, location where you post from if you want, occupation or ex occupation if you want. Nothing is required, it isn't even required to post anything but I'm guessing everyone would like to get to know each other.

Blog, Government At Work, & Reality TV Rumors

My blog was down for about 24 hours from Friday to Saturday but it magically got fixed late Saturday afternoon. Thank goodness.

For those of you dealing with the care of elderly parents please, please read the comments to my post "Updates", Kaye R, Pat, Lady Dr gave some marvelous and very helpful posts about the emotions that those of us that have the responsibility of elderly relatives have. It is one of the better group of comments since I started the blog!

For an interesting article about Social Security Disability go to this link here:

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1217564703119820.xml&coll=7
It is so tragic that people that truly need disability are being lumped in with those trying to scam the system. Any comments about the article?


Some DANCING WITH THE STARS rumors. The cast will be announced August 25th on Good Morning America and the show will start September 22. Those rumored to be on are: Kell Pickler, Kim Kardashian, Ex VP Dan Quayle, and Lance Bass. There is also a another rumor out there that Bass will be paired with a male dancer.

According to the NY Post Sesason Five of TOP CHEF will be in New York with the constestants staying in Brooklyn. The date of the start of the show wasn't stated in the article but I would guess it to be September 10 or September 17.

May this be a great day for all of you.

Updates

Not a lot to say today so thought I would update the readers and posters on various subjects.

Golf - improving daily. Birds don't fly away and people no longer look for shelter when they see me with golf clubs.

Dating - I did muster up enough courage to talk to a lady in the produce section of the grocery store the other day. She was 92.

Fitness - I bought some weights to add that to my regimen. I want to strengthen up my arms. Still walking four miles a day, the golf range every other day, cleaning house daily, and now the weights. I did break 200 yesterday and am eagerly looking forward to making my goal of 185. When I get there I am getting some new pictures taken and will let you vote on which one to put on my profile. At some point when I look decent in a bathing suit I am going to take adult swimming lessons. One, I always wanted to learn to swim correctly and two, that could be a good way to meet someone.

Mom - This is the second Friday in our weekly Fridays of going to mom's house to clean it out and get it ready for sale. Since a lot of you have the responsibility of caring for elderly parents I am wondering if you also have what I call elevator emotions and if your elderly parent gets to be negative a lot. Does the negativity wear you out? The elevator emotions for me are going back and forth between it is nice to feel needed and damn I wish I had my own life so I could travel or insert your own word here. Sometimes I have those conflicting emotions within a five minute period of time. In addition mom tends to be negative and that just wears me out. I try very hard to keep her positive but it usually ends up with me being brought down instead of her being brought up. Do you think negativity is a product of aging? Of seeing your life ending? Of not being able to do the things you used to do? Or is a product of personality and it depends on the person? I am really curious as to what you all think.

Off to the golf range and then to pick up Mom for a day at the beach. Well not the beach, her home.

Another Excerpt

Long time readers and followers will know what this is an excerpt of, if new readers or confused readers of the blog want to know about this post email me at williamjdahn@aol.com. D.R. this one of those middle things I was talking about as being boring.

CHAPTER 4

March 30, 1990

Visions a gentlemen’s club on N.E. 72nd and Sandy. Gentlemen’s club is just a fancy name for a strip bar. Friday night a busy night as the single men that can’t get a date, the married men wanting to cheat on their wives, and the bachelor party group celebrating one of their friend’s last day of singlehood all there to throw money at the scantily and sometimes no clad women. A young women maybe barely eighteen gyrating around the pole at the center of the stage enticing the lonely men to throw their dollar and five dollar bills at her. In the back corner of the bar a group of five men were engaged in a conversation that was barely audible competing with the music. The five men preferred it that way because they didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing them. Officer Westbrook, Officer O'Donnell, Officer Ryan Frazier, Officer Dylan Grafton, and city attorney Ted Vernon.

O’Donnell “I delivered the goods last night and put the ten grand in the safe.”

Frazier, 6’4”, 200lbs buff, strong, blue eyes, sandy colored hair, a decorated war hero, on the force for ten years.

“Good. We need to keep the drugs in the gang areas and the wars going. We need to keep the Gang Enforcement Team going. It is our home to fight our war.”

Grafton, late thirties, out of shape, black hair, green eyes, 5’11”, 240, on the force for fifteen years.

“Power to The People”

“Power to The People” they all said in unison.

“I heard Ms. Lane went to see an attorney, a high profile attorney.” Westbrook said.

“Do we need to be concerned Ted?”

Vernon responded “The attorney is well respected and will not hesitate to file a wrongful death lawsuit if he thinks something is remiss.”

Grafton “We need to monitor him or scare him off early on.”

Vernon “What are you suggesting.”

Grafton “A threat. We find out when he is the most vulnerable and then have one of the boys politely talk to him.”

Westbrook “We can start the investigation tomorrow “

They all got up shook hands and left Visions to go to their nightly jobs protecting the city.

The Economy And Cutting Back

I'm curious if the posters and readers here are being forced to cut back on certain items because of bad economic times. Or are you cutting back willingly to save money to prepare for things that might happen?

I've decided to cut back on a few things. Now that I have some extra time and I can do some things myself I just decided to save in case the economy takes another turn for the worst. The first thing I am doing is canceling the payroll service for my corporation. I'm the only employee and with CPA skills I can do my own payroll. Then I decided to cancel my housekeeper that comes twice a month. I am a very capable housekeeper. Being somewhat picky and a latent germaphobe I can lysol, dust, vaccum with the best of them. I actually clean better than the housekeeper. After the summer season I am also going to cancel my landscaper. Although yardwork doesn't rank high up there on my like list, I figure it will be good exercise. Add that to the golf and the walking and I will be as fit as a fiddle. Just those three things will save me about three hundred and fifty bucks a month. Not small change at all.

I can't say I am going to start using coupons because I have always used coupons. In fact my mom says that my epitath should be "here lies Bill, he expired before his coupons." I've gotten so good at using coupons that there have been four or five times when I've actually got money back for buying some products.

OK, what are you all doing, if anything?

Hope this will be a love filled day for all of you.

A Week In My Life

This week was two work projects, a couple of movies, the county fair, some writing, interaction with mom, four trips to the driving range, a lot of computer time, and checking different west coast cities for jobs. I'm not really looking for a job as I have plenty of work to do with mom, helping the firm that bought my business, helping some business clients organize their financials and consulting with some CPA firms on IRS audits that their clients are undergoing. However, if a job came up and it was sort of a dream job I'd look into it.

Yesterday was a day at Mom's house. Mom hasn't really decided what she wants to do yet. She is really starting to like the place where she is at and has made a lot of new friends. If she doesn't show up for bingo or meals they come get her or check on her. What her and I decided together is that if she decides to stay at Chehelam Springs then we have to sell her house. Her house is in the price range of homes that are selling, is a nice home on a golf course, and well kept. So it will stand out from the others in her area that are for sale. What we are going to do is that every Friday we will go to her home and get the place ready to be sold. So when the time comes for her to make a decision about staying at the retirement home or going home one of the factors won't be how much work has to be done to sell the house. Yesterday our mission was to go through the closets and the garage and get stuff ready for Goodwill. We got a ton of stuff ready and I am taking it to the Goodwill center today. While there I cooked lunch and she said it was the best lunch she has eaten for a while. I'm getting better at cooking! I think it is a good sign that Mom no longer uses Pepto Bismal as a salad dressing when I cook.

Thursday was doctor day. Mom had an 8:15 in the morning appointment. That followed a 7:45 appointment on Monday to take her to lab for tests. Good thing I am an early riser. The news at the doctors office was great. She said mom is getting better. All her lab reports and blood pressure readings were great!

Sunday I had breakfast with my one friend from Portland's elite society. T is probably in the top 2% of the Portland social scene, I'm in the top 98%. It isn't that I don't know more of them, I've met some through my business, have represented some of them but I've always felt that if you were dealing with a person's finances you shouldn't socialize with your clients because it could cloud your judgment. So I never socialized with them and as a practice turned down invitations. T gave me my first expert witness job and since then we have become friends. We are comfortable enough with each other that we can confide our darkest secrets. A lttle about T. He has diplomatic license plates because he is a counsel to a foriegn country. He never uses the plates. He was once referred to by the founder of a shoe company as "the attorney I couldn't afford to hire." He later served as an arbitrator for the shoe company on a legal case. He is several famous politicians' attorney. He never mentions them. He knows secrets, never tells them. He is also the most generous man I know. We had a great talk and a great breakfast and his wife S, joined us later on in the morning. I love S too and her I will get into some fun discussions when she is there. She hadn't seen me since I made my healthy changes and for an hour she questioned me about how I did it. I love T and S and am so pleased that they see something in me that they want to be friends!

Maybe some day I will share with you the story of my first time as an expert witness and the day in court that bonded T and I.

May this be a great day and weekend for all of you.

Since Life is Boring Right Now

I will go with an interesting fact. Thank you to my cousin Sharon. Tomorrow I will report on my week.

Manure... An interesting story.

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening .
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.


I always thought it was a golf term.

The Dark Knight

I sucked it up and went to The Dark Knight this morning. As you probably remember I've avoided going because I've been having a hard time getting over the emotion of regret of Heath Ledger's death. Regret that such a major talent left this world before he had the chance to reach his full potential and that after THE DARK KNIGHT we will never get see another performance of his. The movie intensified that emotion. To me THE DARK KNIGHT wasn't in the movie to me the darkest night was the night that Ledger died. The dark of an amazing talent feeling the need to artifically enhance his life. The dark that someone gave him prescription drugs without knowing how they interacted. The dark is the family he left behind.

The movie THE DARK KNIGHT was amazing. The story was so well crafted that you forgot it was a comic book hero. The special effects were great. The acting was so top notch that the weakest link was Maggie Glyllenhaal and that was a performance that under different circumstances we would have spoken more highly of it. However, in THE DARK KNIGHT her performance was overshadowed by the performances of Ledger, Bale, Eckhart, Caine, Oldman, and Freeman.

Five footballs. One football for Ledger. One football for Bale. One Football for the screenplay. One football for the special effects. One football for all the other supporting roles.

What I Am Reading

Before moving on to reading just wanted to mention to Pat that I may have been wrong about MAMA MIA on one of the blogs I go too everyone loved it. One person said it was the most enjoyable movie experience they had in years. Maybe it is the gender gap.

I was given three books for my birthday. The first one that I am reading is Harlan Coben's PROMISE ME. I've never read Coben before but so far so good. Up next is Janet Evonovich's FEARLESS FOURTEEN. Very light but very fun and fast reading. It is a Stephanie Plum novel. Love them. Then it will be on to Phillip Margolin's EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE. Phil's father-in-law is a good friend of mine. We worked together at an insurance company and have been friends since. I've met Phil a couple of times and he is a very nice fellow. Sometimes his writing is to graphic for me but I'm giving this one a shot.

Since we are talking about books now here are some of my suggestions for late Summer Reading:

Books on Tape:

CAMEL CLUB by David Baldacci. Five retired government employees get involved in a murder investigation. First in a triology.

BLIND ASSASSIN by Margertet Atwood. Two books in one. Very entertaining, well read.

Reading Suggestions:

SAVING GRACES by Patricia Gaffney. Five women get together once a week to talk about their lifes. Graces is a dog that the five rescued. Very well written, very insightful, towards the end get a ton of kleenexes.

ART OF DECEPTION by Ridley Pearson. Set in Seattle, Washington. Part of the Dahpne Matthews series. She is a police forensic psychologist that meets murder and a teenage runaway as a volunteer teenage runaway counselor. Well written, good story.

THE INNOCENT MAN by John Grisham. Normaly I don't like Grisham books because all of his endings are the same. However, this is a great book. Grisham ventures out into the realm of true crime and weaves an amazing story. A New York Yankee prospect is arrested for a murder he didn't commit. Be prepared to be angry when reading this book.

THE WHOLE TRUTH by David Baldacci. Defense contractors and crime. Baldacci is the master story teller.

CAPITOL CONSPIRACY by William Bernhardt. Politics and crime. Bernhardt is actually my favorite writer. He has a real strong female character, Christina. In this book terror leads the way as the head of Homeland Security is murdered. The political fall out that follows is realistic, frightening, and a great read.

SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN by Christopher Anderson. I saved the best for last. The ultimate love story and it is true. It is the story of Christopher and Dana Reeves. So well written you fall in love with couple so in love with each other that nothing can derail their respect for each other. A MUST READ.

Hope you all have a great day today.

Mama Mia Review and Unusual Headlines

I just have four things to say about MAMA MIA:

1. Meryl Streep can sing.

2. Pierce Bronsan can't sing.

3. The movie would have to improve to be lousy.

4. I should have sucked it up and gone to THE DARK KNIGHT.

Now on to other things. I have a cousin, Sharon, that lives in Virginia but commutes to her job as vice president of a Wall Street Brokerage House. She lives in her NY apartment five days a week and commutes home to spend weekends with her husband in Virginia. Despite how busy she is every Friday she sends me an email with different stories and different themes. This week the theme was weird headlines. Here are some of those headlines:

From San Francisco: TIGER WOODS PLAYS WITH HIS OWN BALLS, NIKE SAYS

From Madison, Wi.: ATTORNEY ACCIDENTALLY SUES HIMSELF

From Eugene, Or.: COUNTY TO PAY $250,000 TO ADVERTISE LACK OF FUNDS.

No Dateline: MEETING ON OPEN MEETINGS IS CLOSED.

From Salt Lake City, Ut.: UTAH POISON CONTROL CENTER REMINDS EVERYONE NOT TO TAKE POISON

No Dateline: ONE-ARMED MAN APPLAUDS THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS.

From Colorado Springs, Co.: STATISTICS SHOW THAT TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS OFF SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE 25.

May you all make headlines today and in a good way!

The Movies, More Golf, and Mom.

Two movies are coming out Friday, Mama Mia and The Dark Knight. I think I am heading out to Mama Mia with Meryl Streep and put The Dark Knight on the backburner. I'm avoiding Dark Knight because I know the number one emotion I will have during that movie is regret. I am just having a hard time getting past Heath Ledger's death. All I will think of during the movie is what a wonderful talent he was and what a waste it is that we lost him so early to an accidental drug overdose. All the reviews say Ledger's last role is memorable and he gives his best performance.
Maybe someday I will suck it up and go to The Dark Knight but this is not the day and the day won't come for a while. There will be a review on Mama Mia this weekend.

I have a new set of golf clubs now. Took my clubs to the driving range and even improved over yesterday. My arms and shoulders are just fine now. After I loosened them up yesterday they withstood the assault on them today.

I was called out to the retirement home where Mom was today because the staff thought she was ill and needed someone to be with her. She was very ill but it wasn't life threatening. I stayed with her all afternoon and she got well. I tested her blood pressure which was normal, tested her sugar which was normal. So it was a one day stomach virus. I fixed her soup and gave her some diet 7-1up and some soda crackers. She got well within three or four hours. Well enough to go down to dinner at her retirement home. I'm glad she is better. The call was very bothersome, however, because when you get the call you think the worse. You think oh no this could be the day she leaves this world and the emotions just overtake you. Thank God she recovered so fast and hoping I don't get one of those calls again.

May this be a great weekend for everyone!

Investments, Stiffness, and Cards From The Visitor

Hello there everyone. Been a busy few days. I took a big step and invested into a beauty products company. The company is a start-up company so it is a huge risk but it could also have a huge reward. Because of where the company is at I was able to buy a small percentage of the company for about 25% of what it would have normally cost. It was still spendy. But my IRA money market has been hitting the skids so it seemed doable to me. I will either lose my investment or make a fortune. In the interest of full disclosure my niece and sister are also owners of the company. The product is a skin product that hydrates skin and cleans up blemishes. It is a vitamin based cocktail powder that you add to any drink that you enjoy drinking or even add it to ice cream or do what I did this morning and add it to cereal. I've tried the product and it really seemed to work. The blemishes that I had are pretty much gone. Where the company is now is that CVS Pharmacy has placed an order to put the product in their stores but the company doesn't have enough cash on hand to order the ingredients it needs to fill the orders it is getting. That is where my cash comes in. Maybe it will turn out to be a really dumb idea, maybe it will make me set for life. It won't be known for at least a year. And I am purposely not naming the company because I'm not going to use my blog to promote products, even if I have an interest in the product!

I know realize I have arms and shoulders. I went to the driving range yesterday and hit the ball pretty well. However, not having used those parts of my body for much the last few years the arms and shoulders were hard to move and now they harder to move because they are stiff as can be. I'm optimistic that I will live to use my arms and shoulders again. Probably tomorrow or the day after. The driving range was fun and the lesson was I need more excercise than just walking. My legs are stong, now the arms and shoulders will follow.

Each of the last two days I received a thank you card in the mail from my visitor, Kate. The first card was to thank me for letting her stay in mom's house, the second was for thanking me to take her to visit mom. She also said she is feeling much better now that she is back in Arizona. I don't know what to think of the cards, one would have been enough. I'm not getting sucked back in, my mind is pretty firm about moving on.

May this be a great evening and tomorrow be a great day for all of you.

The Challenge of A Friend

The other night I was on an instant message with a friend from a different part of the country that I live in. We are close to the same age, both looking for someone, and both a lot on the shy side. During the conversation we decided we needed to take more risks. We decided we need to get out there and make ouselves seen. I'm am so proud of her for what she did the next day.
She went out to breaksfast at a restaurant alone. A big step for anyone really but even more so for a woman. She saw some guys but they were all married or otherwise taken. But the important thing is that she took a risk. Good for her.

As part of taking a risk she challenged me to take a risk. To go to a grocery store and if I found an available woman to at least say hi to her. OK, she can do something big like go to a restaurant alone, I can do something big like go to a grocery store and smile and speak to someone. I walked over to the grocery store in my neighborhood not once but three times. Unfortunately, every time I walked through the grocery store all the ladies had wedding rings on or were with someone so I couldn't complete the mission. But the important thing isn't that I didn't complete the mission, the important thing is that I took a risk, and was ready to complete the mission if the situation presented itself. Good for me.

After my excursions to the grocery store I went to the golf course and explored taking golfing lessons. Monday I am going to the driving range just to see how far I've regressed since stopping playing golf a few years back and to see how much instruction I need. A beginning class or an advanced class.

I appreciate my friend that I instant messaged with becuase she has encouraged me to take risks. Friends like that are rare.

What risks are you taking today?

Hancock The Movie and News on My Brother

Went to the movie Hancock this morning but before my review of the movie I received some news from my brother. Would like to ask everyone for good thoughts and prayers for my brother for a quick recovery. Got a call from my brother from the emergency room in the hospital in Dubois, Wyoming. While playing tennis with my nephew my brother ruptured his achilles tendon on his left foot. He had surgery this morning on it and they are expecting a ten week recovery. He will be on crutches for most of the ten weeks. The recovery will be very difficult for him because he is so active and this is the first major injury that he has ever had. He is going to be fit to be tied most of those ten weeks. So come on everyone send some vibes to my brother for patience and a quick recovery!

Hancock was a very enjoyable movie. Stars Will Smith, Jason Bateman, and the beautiful Charlize Theron. The basic plot is a hard-living superhero who has fallen out of favor with the public enters into a questionable relationship with the wife of the public relations professional who's trying to repair his image. Will Smith is Hancok, the hero. Jason Bateman is the public relations professional, and Charlize Theron is the wife of the public relations professional.

Three footballs. One for Smith. One for Theron. One for Bateman. They are did an amazing job of acting. The pumped up a week story line and made it enjoyable to watch. Sometimes the movie is a little sappy, the story line is unreal at times, and the special effects are repititive. Still worth the money.

Hope this day finds you all well and in good spirits.

I'm Back

After the exhausting visit of an old love I took a couple of days off from the blog, email, and anything that required thinking. There was a lot that went on during the visit that I didn't report on like the number of times I was asked "how much are you going to inherit when your Mom dies?" It was so mentally free not having her here the last few days that I just kind of went with the rest that I thought that I needed.

The visit, however, did not sway me from the path of looking for someone to share my life with. I still think that would add a wonderful dimension to my life. It just isn't going to be the old love that was here. I'm going to take some cooking classes, maybe some dancing classes, go to Events and Adventures, etc. I'm not the bitter type. Nor am I the type to condemn an entire gender for the actions of one very misguided woman.

The agenda this week is pretty much open. I'm going to write on the book an hour every day the rest of the week. There is also of course the morning walks. The new Will Smith movie is calling me. Some visits to Mom to get the things she needs. Plus the lawns at the two houses, Mom's and mine. Then there are a couple of work assignments that the guys that bought my business gave me. Plus the blog.

Thank you all for being there for me and commenting on my guest. You are a great support system.

May this be a great day for all of you.

The Visit The Final Installment

The day she left the day ended with a 911 call. Sort of an ironic end to the day that the visit ended. The 911 call has nothing to do with Laura or my health. I was out for my evening walk when a car pulled over and a woman rolled down the window and told me that she shouldn't coudn't breath or swallow and asked what she should do. After checking her blood pressure I called 911. She had just taken some medication and was having a reaction to it. I'd never met this lady before, didn't know anything about her, and don't understand why I was the chosen one by her since there were others around. Maybe it is the target on my forehead. I found out in my call to 911 that she is 76, had a history of drug reactions, heart trouble, and was diabetic. In another ironic twist a police officer pulled over a car right in front of us for a traffic violation. I went and got one of the officers that came back and helped. The paramedics arrived in about ten minutes. They gave her something that brought her back to normal and then let her drive off. Just like the lady visiting here that never bothered once to say thank you the lady in the car didn't say thank you either. What a reminder to me that I was glad the visitor was gone. The police officer, bless his heart, did say to me "we need citizens like you. thank you."

Thursday after sleeping all day Laura/Kate called and wanted to join Mom and I for dinner. The three of us went out and had a nice dinner. After taking Mom home, Kate/Laura and I had a nice talk during which it was decided that since she wasn't really feeling well and since there really wasn't going to be a long term relationship between us it was really better for her to go home. I changed her reservations so that she could leave Thursday morning instead of Sunday.

Friday morning Laura/Kate and I went to breakfast then I took her to the airport. Helped her with her luggage, said good-bye, and then breathed a sigh of relief.

I'm actually glad that I had Kate/Laura come for a visit because it answered another question from the past, confirmed to me that the healthly plan that I am on is the right path, and helped me define what I need in the future. Plus I didn't have to roller skate.

I always wondered if ending the one long term relationship that I had in my life was the right decision back then when I made it. This visit confirmed that I made the right decision. As to defining what I need in the future, is that I need someone younger. Not age younger. Age is just a number. Younger in spirit. Willing to be active. Willing to do things. Willing to learn new things.
I also decided that there will be no contact my direction towards Kate/Laura. This is truly the end. She has already called twice, which I didn't answer or return. Harsh yes, but it is just better for both of us if we move on to explore other options.

Hope this day is a great one for all of you and that yesterday's celebrations were fun for all of you and your loved ones.

Thunderstorms- Day 2

I can report on Day 2 early. There were thunderstorms here last night. I absolutely love thunderstorms. I got up and watched them. They energize and excite me.

Kate just called. The thunderstorms kept her awake all night and she doesn't want to do anything today. She wants to stay in bed all day and sleep. We are back to that energy thing. So basically Day 2 isn't going to happen. I was willing to go in and fix her breakfast and lunch and make sure she was comfortable but she doesn't want anyone to come there today. I tried to be thoughtful and considerate. She just doesn't want to do anything but sleep. So Day 2 will just be me. This is just further confirmation that we aren't the match made in heaven. I understand people getting ill on trips and was willing to go the extra mile. I was even willing to take her to the doctor. But it takes two to work things out. One way relationships just never work.

Off to buy a set of golf clubs. I had planned on doing that after she left on Sunday but am going to take the free time to start working on my twelve goals for the next year.

The First Day

Today was the first day of the visit.

The day started out with a nine o'clock meeting at the offices of the men that bought my business. We were meeting with a client that I have had for over twenty years. When I first met him he was working out of the trunk of his car, selling advertising time on radio stations. Now he is a millionaire many times over. He owns ten fast food restaurants in California, one in Oregon and four in Washington. He erronously credits me with some of his success so he won't do anything without my approval and wanted me in on the meeting with the new guys. It went well and he is now comfortable with the passing of the baton. Jon, the client, told me anything I want anytime just call him and he would do what he could. He is just the nicest man. It was such a pleasure to watch him go from a guy struggling to a guy set for life. He just recently married Donna, his business partner. Donna was at the meeting too. She also is a very nice person. They are a good match. Two people in their fifities finding love. That is pretty exciting.

After the meeting there was lunch with Mom and then heading out to the airport to pick up Laura whom now wants to be called Kate. Her plane got here a little after two. When she walked out of the security area she walked right past me. Didn't reconize me due to the healthy changes that I have made since the last time she saw me in 2001. I recognized her and went over and re-introduced myself. She is really nice but I'm not sure I won't tire of the religious talk the next few days. God forbid she is a fan of the 700 Club. She did get points for telling me that the reason she didn't recognize me is that I was younger and more handsome then the last time she saw me. What is amazing is that we had different energy levels. I had more energy than her. Not something I ever thought I would say. We stopped for a snack on the way home before getting her to her to mom's house. We had both been up since five this morning. She was exhausted. I was still ready to go do things. She took a nap, I ran errands.

At six we went out to see Mom at the assisted living center, Chehalem Springs. Mom and Kate got along really well. They were both glad to see each other again. They shared some pictures and had a nice chat. Then we took a tour of the facility. Well half of a tour. Kate got to tired to complete the tour. We definitely have different energy levels. After talking to mom for a little bit more Kate and I went out for a late dinner. After dinner we did a little grocery shopping and went back to Mom's house. Laura/Kate was ready to go to bed at nine. I gave her a hug goodnight and came home to report about the day on my blog.

Tomorrow the day won't start until ten because she wants to sleep in until then. I'll have half the day over by then.

The good of the day is that Kate made me feel really good about myself telling me how handsome and nice I was. She told me that so often that I almost started to believe it. If she tells me that that many times in the next couple of days it may go from being a good thing to an annoying thing. lol. The bad is the religious talk and the energy levels. Be interesting to see what tomorrow brings.

Hope all is well with all of you. Will report on Tomorrow's events tomorrow night.

PS

Just got back from a little excitement. Laura called and the police were at Mom's house. King City is a small community and they know when things just aren't right. They knew mom's house was supposed to be vacant and they were checking to see if Kate was supposed to be there. I went in there to show my driver's license and the deed to the house that shows me as the trustee of the trust that owns the house. I verified that Kate was supposed to be there and would be there until Sunday morning. Everything is now hunky dory and I'm back home.

Summary of Blog Vote And Updates

A big thank you to all that responded to the question of how to improve my blog. All your comments were appreciated. The general consensus is I should keep doing what I am doing and that I should write about what is on my mind at the time. Also that I should be myself. The problem is sometimes I don't know who myself is. I also agreed with Mary that I should show more of my humorous side. I've been thinking about my type of humor and why I haven't been able to show more of it on the blog. I've come to the conclusion that my kind of humor is reactionary humor not creative humor. I have a unique ability to see the humorous side in what people say and do. I also have the ability to make fun of the crazy things that I do and say. In the line at the grocery store I can make the whole line laugh by saying something in response to what the checker said or by making fun of what I am buying. However, to stare at a blank piece of paper and create something humorous is really difficult for me. It gives me an area of my personality to work on. I love that.

Here is some updates on what is going on in my life:

Mom. She seems to be losing a lot of her physical strength. Her mind is still sharp but she is having a lot of trouble walking. This worries my greatly. The place that she is in isn't the great place we all thought it would be. It is very poorly managed and they don't have the healthy menu that they promised us before we moved in. The number of activities they have is limited because they aren't that full. Mom is planning on going home in Septemeber if we can find the help. I'm still having trouble separating from her. I go out there to often. Not daily but often enough that it is to often. I feel such an obligation to help her that is hard to not do things for her. Because she is often emotionally down when I visit her and then emotionally up while I'm there I feel like I'm hurting her by avoiding visits there. I really do have to place a higher priority on my own life.

My Uncle. Not all the results of the tests are in but it appears that they were able to give him the right medication to stop the big stroke after the little strokes so that he didn't lose any movement on either side of his body. This is really good news. There is still a little danger until all the test results are in. However, we are hopeful. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers.

My book. You all have read the opening. I have a good start and a very chilling ending. The last four chapters are some of the best writing that I've done and has a very creative ending. Not an expected one that is for sure. It is the middle that I am having trouble with. It seems like the middle of the book is boring. It is mostly story and character development. I need to learn more about how to write the middle of the book. I have about 12 of 40 chapters done. Forty seems like a lot but not really because some of the chapters aren't that long. When I read I found out that I like books that have short chapters because that gives natural breaks for me if I have to stop reading to do something.

My goal list. I'm stuck at 200. I can't seem to break that number. I want to get to 185 and I know I will get there but it is taking longer than expected.

The visit. Tomorrow.

The end of the visit. Sunday.

Hope this is a great day for all of you.

The Visit

The visit is happening in two days. It is interesting that as times go by you forget about all the things that bothered you the last time you got together and then as the visit gets closer you remember those things that drove you nuts. I'm now looking forward to next Sunday, the day she returns to Arizona. I'm still going to have a great time and am looking forward to a lot of laughs and compainoship but I am also looking forward to my private time again. From Wednesday through Saturday I will try to check in to let everyone know how the visit is going.

I was planning a 4th of July barbecue at Mom's house with Mom, Laura, and myself. Was going to grill some hot dogs but then I remembered from her last visit here in 2001 that the only kind of hot dogs she likes are the expensive ones you buy in movie theatres! OK, so maybe I can take the barbecue to the lobby of the local theater, borrow some of their hot dogs, and barbecue them in the lobby. Or maybe I will just do hambugers instead.

If the hot dog thing wasn't bad enough in a recent call with her she said it would be fun to go roller skating. The only time I roller skated it scared me emotionally for life. I actually wrote about it on my blog at the beginning but just to refresh everyone's memory here is my story about the only time I roller skated:

In High School I was neither a nerd or popular. I just didn't exist. Overshadowed by some great siblings. Sis was prom queen. Bro was all state in three sports. I won a Howdy Doody look alike contest. Neither was I exactly a klutz. Just wrong place, wrong time derailed my athletic career. Our school had a student body of 2,500 with 570 in my class. The last player on our team would be a starter at many other schools. I was that last player. So I wasn't a klutz. We were visiting our aunt and her family in Glendale, California between my junior and senior years in high school. My sister and my cousin, Sandy, took me roller skating. I'd never been on roller skates before. I had been working out to get in shape for football and hadn't bought new clothes yet so my pants didn't exactly fit. It was at a roller skating rink in Pasadena, California. My sis and Sandy convinced me that if I went out to the middle of the rink where everyone was skating in a circle to the music they would hold on to me. Should have known better than to trust them. The music started sis was on one side holding on to my arm, Sandy on the other side, holding on to my other arm. My pants kept slipping so I kept holding on to them. Sandy and sis got to laughing and let go of me. I went flying, my pants went down, tidy whities exposed, I hit the railing and did a pretty good somersault over the railing into the concession stand. I was so embarassed. We had a real hard time in the emergency room telling the doctor how my aunt broke a blood vessel in her eye laughing. I didn't get hurt physically but the emotional damage was severe.

Do you think I want to try roller skating again? Oh, well if everyone reads in the newspaper about a guy getting arrested for bringing a grill to the lobby of a theatre or being taken to the hospital in his underwear after being foolish enough to try skating again, you will know it is me.

How Can I Improve My Blog?

Hi there everyone. Not much to write about today but thought I would throw this out there for some feedback. I'd like to improve my blog and would like to know what the people posting here would like from my blog.

Would you like more links?

More talk about my personal life?

More talk about movies and TV shows?

More political talk?

More news?

More humor?

More talk about Mom?

More talk about dating?

More pictures?

More talk about the book that I am writing?

More talk about family dynamics?

More referral to other blogs?

More tests? For example, personality tests.

This is your chance to help me improve. I'd like to know what you all would like. Feel free to post anything that you might want from a blog.

Hope this day goes well for all of you.

Trip Canceled/Prayers and Good Thoughts Needed

My cousin Dixie called today and canceled her trip here. Her dad had a stroke, well actually several small strokes, and is in the hospital for a couple of days for tests and then several followup appointments at the doctor's office. Uncle Frank was told not to drive and My Aunt Velma has never driven. Dixie was asked by them if she would come to Arizona to help out and of course she said yes. She is also quite worried about her dad as I am. What led my Uncle to seek help was he was having several dizzy spells and passed out. The good news is it wasn't a big stroke but the fear is that the several little strokes could have done some damage. Thank goodness he sought help before the big stroke that often follows after several small strokes.

I'm asking for all your good thoughts and/or prayers be directed my uncle's direction for a speedy recovery and good reports. Also more good thoughts and prayers should be sent my cousin, Dixie's, direction. That she be strong for them while she is there and for her good health.

Thank you all in advance. Hope you and all your relatives are healthy!

News Tidbits

Sort of the calm before the storm in the Dahn household so to do away with some of my boredom am reading various things in newspapers and on the internet. There were some interesting things to pass on to you:

UPS drivers are under instructions to only turn right. According to their management they save millions in fuel costs by having their drivers only turn right. I frankly don't know how they save anything. Just for fun I tried the turning right thing yesterday and to get to the places I wanted to go by only turning right I had to go miles out of my way to there. OK troops you have two assignments: 1. Trying getting some where by only turning right and get back to me about what you found out and 2. Be on the lookout for a UPS driver making a left turn.

On to food pairings. It has been discovered that pairing certain foods can lead to some really good health benefits. For instance, eating almonds with a glass of red wine can enhance the benefits that wine gives you for a healthy heart. For more information on food pairings you can read the entire article here: http://news.aol.com/health/story/ar/_a/dynamic-duos-for-better-nutrition/20080625124509990001?icid=200100125x1204833290x1200214461

Want to read what some people over 80 are doing? You will be amazed at how many people over stay active in business, including 106 year-old cowboy Jack Weil. Read the entire article here: http://smallbusiness.aol.com/features/older-entrepreneurs?icid=200100125x1204785985x1200209452

Don Imus is at it again. Read about here and vote on whether or not he should stay on air.

http://sodahead.com/question/106051/?link=Goog_Imus_q106051_txt&gclid=CMj02be1kpQCFR8cagodflgEuQ

OK, back to getting ready for the company of the next week or so. Mom's house is done and looks great. Today my house gets a shampoo job. Tomorrow both cars get a bath. Then there is laundry. So off to work today.

Hope this finds you all in good spirits and that your day is filled with joy.

Life Gets Exciting

My cousin Dixie is coming to visit on Saturday and will stay until July 3rd. Laura will be here on the 2nd and leave on the 6th. So from this coming Saturday until July 6th there will be company at Mom's house. I'm looking forward to the visits because it will get me out and about more.

Dixie is my favorite cousin. Her brothers Denny and Dave and herself always lived in the same city we did while growing up. They were more like a 2nd set of siblings then they were cousins. Their mom and dad, Aunt Velma and Uncle Frank we my second set of parents. Our families always did things together. Every holiday we spent together. We had some really great Thanksgivings and Christmases. Frank and Velma are now in Arizona. Dixie just moved back the mainland from Hawaii and is looking for a place to settle down. That is one of the reasons for the visit, she wants to explore Portland. If she likes it here she may consider moving in with Mom and helping take care of her.

About Dixie? Fun and unusual. She spent years high up in administration at Kaiser before deciding the stress wasn't worth and quit the job. She became a school bus driver because she loved the kids. On her 50th birthday she sky dived. On her 55th birthday she bungy jumped.
This is my older fun cousin. I'm looking forward to the visit.

The next couple of days are going to be filled with getting two houses ready for company (Mom's and mine) shampooing carpets, changing sheets, grocery shopping and those things we do when people come to spend time with us.

I'd like to know if any of you are looking forward to visitors and what you do to get ready for them.

May this be a day filled with love and friendship for all of you.

The Goals For The Next 12 Months

I had a great birthday yesterday. I got birthday wishes all the way from next door to Singapore. The dinner with Mom was absolutely wonderful. The place is called The Yamhill Grill. The food was great and the service was even better. The waitress made my day when she asked if it was my 49th birthday because that is how old she was and she thought we were the same age. God love her. I got wonderful gifts including some nice money, books, and the wonderful quilt. Now that the birthday is past it is time for me to set my goals for the next twelve months.

Before sharing my goals I want you all to know that I would love to hear what your goals are. I would really like to learn more about all of you that post here.

The one word that best describes what the next twelve months will be like is recommitted. I am recommitted. Recommitted to my goals. Those goals are:

1. Get to 185 lbs. That is the magical number I adopted in November when I started my commitment to better health. Seemingly a major goal back then, it seems very doable now.

2. Get off all medication. When I set that goal in November I was on six medications, now I am on two. The goal daunting in November seems doable now.

3. Take up golf again. I was a decent golfer but quit because so much was going on in my life that I didn't have the time to play weekly.

4. Finish my book. Both the first and second drafts. Send it to several publishers or an agent.

5. Continue my quest to meet a life partner.

6. Take a trip that requires flying.

7. Learn to swim. I swim a little bit but not well, just well enough not to drown in the bath tub. I want to learn to swim well enough to feel safe in pools.

8. Take some dancing classes.

9. Join some single groups, like dinner for eight.

10. Take a cooking class.

There you have my goals, what are yours?

May your dreams come true today and in the future.