Yesterday we talked about corporate abuse of the little guy. Today we are talking domestic abuse. An article just had me shaking my head in disbelief. The article claims that domestic abuse OF MEN is as common as domestic abuse of women. This is directly quoting the article:
"more than 200 survey-based studies show that domestic violence is just as likely to strike men as women. In fact, the overwhelming mass of evidence indicates that half of all domestic violence cases involve an exchange of blows and the remaining 50% is evenly split between men and women who are brutalized by their partners."
You can read the article here:
http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/a-hidden-crime-domestic-violence-against-men-is-a-growing-probl/19297449/?icid=main|htmlws-sb-n|dl5|link6|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailyfinance.com%2Fstory%2Fa-hidden-crime-domestic-violence-against-men-is-a-growing-probl%2F19297449%2F
I might find the article more believable if they hadn't used Tiger Woods as an example. The other example they used was Chris Henry who was a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals. He died when he jumped (or fell ) from the back of a pickup that his fiancee was driving. They had had an argument, she took off in the pickup and he jumped into the back of it trying to get her to stop the car. That doesn't sound like she abused him, does it?
I do agree with the article that men are less likely to report being abused then women. The notion is that a man that claims to be abused is likely to be perceived as weak or unruly and most likely will be mocked rather than have his complaint taken seriously. I also agree that more research on the subject is needed. I just don't believe an abused man is as common as an abused woman.
One of the surprising bits of information in the article is the following:
"A recent 32-nation study revealed that more than 51% of men and 52% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a wife to slap her husband. By comparison, only 26% of men and 21% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a husband to slap his wife. Murray Straus, creator of the Conflict Tactics Scale and one of the authors of the study, explained this discrepancy: "We don't perceive men as victims. We see women as being more vulnerable than men."
It surprises me that, that many people would think it was OK to hit someone that you either love or did love. What happened to biting your tongue and taking a nice walk until things settle down?
The article ends with the quote:
"There is no doubt that domestic violence against men can be reduced; the domestic violence initiatives of the past 40 years have brought a hidden crime to light and provided protection for millions of women. The next step is to admit that domestic violence is not a male or female problem, but rather a human problem, and that a lasting solution must address the cruelty -- and suffering -- of both sexes. "
Do you agree with the final quote? (I'm still digesting the information.) Are you surprised or do you believe that men are abused as often as women? (No.) Are there any situations where it is OK for a woman to slap or hit a man? (Rarely.) Are there any situations where it is OK for a man to hit or slap a woman? (No.) Looking forward to your input.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I don't know what to think about that report. I do think there are cultural differences that result in some women being quite combative, to the extent of fighting each other, so I can imagine it extending to a domestic situation. The whole idea is so foreign to me that I can't quite get my head around it. I can't imagine any man of my acquaintance hitting me, nor can I imagine hitting one of them, so to me, it's just something that might happen "out there somewhere".
Hi Pat
There are culteral differences and I suppose we should always take that into consideration when reading these surveys.
Like you the idea of a man being abused is foreign to me, I did at times during my years in business come across some abused asking for my help but it was always women.
Bill
My first problem is that one can make statistics say whatever you want them to prove. (Too many years in gov't and mgt analysis and a husband with a degree that includes research and stats.)
First of all, women are generally as prone to not reporting abuse as men. One reason there are more stats on women, I think, is that neighbors, co-workers, family members are more willing to do a second hand report on visible abuse to women. Women may be more willing to talk to other women than men.
You're right, Woods and Henry aren't good examples . You're also right that men are probably less likely to report abuse. OTOH, I wonder if men are more likely to react (abuse their abuser) than women?
As to the closing statement, I don't think it's ever appropriate to hit a spouse or loved one, unless it's a case of undeniable self-defense, with no other option. Like you, I'm still pondering what it says. I think there's little question that violence usually begets violence, which is why it's not the answer to problems.
Hi DR
I agree with you about statistics. Plus in surveys there are a lot of variables including how the question was structured.
You are right about women not reporting abuse, men don't report it because people would think they were a wuss, women don't report it because it has been ingrained in them by the abuser that they deserve the treatment they are getting. And again you are right about neighbors and friends stepping up reporting abuse of women.
I am not so sure that men that are abused are likely to abuse back. I picture it more as the time of man that is abused is one that wouldn't fight back for a number of reasons including the way her was raised and taught as to not hit women.
Violence is never the answer!
Bill
Post a Comment