It has been a busy week. One thing I have learned the last three days is that I am just not emotionally equipped to be the lead caregiver with Mom again. Even though she gets healthier when I am there the vocal jabs I get from her are just to tough to take. It has become to hard for me not to react. Then an argument ensues and that really isn't good for either of us. I can handle the jabs one or two days a week but for several days in a row I just don't have it in me.
Last week. Sunday work day. Monday day and night at Mom's. Tuesday all day at Mom's. Wednesday house cleaning. Thursday at Mom's in the morning to help her out of bed. There at noon to fix her lunch. Nancie my friend is a Reflexologist specializing in feet. I had her come over at three to work on my Mom's feet. She is a top notch professionaland did a great job on Mom's feet. Mom's feet were warm for several days afterward. Nancie, Mom, & I went out for dinner afterwards. We went to Rose's. Nancie fit in really well and we had a great time. The caregiver arrives usually at nine in the evenings on Thursday. I stayed until 8:30 and helped Mom to bed. Friday I was at Mom's to fix her lunch. Then serve as host as mom's good friends Ted, Betty, and Marion visited her. While they were talking with Mom I put together dinner for Mom and the caregiver. Meatloaf, corn, and cantaloupe. Saturday the caregiver goes to her other job early so I was there at Mom's at six to help her out of bed. I went back at eleven to take her out to lunch. We had a nice lunch out. When we got back to Mom's we played three games of Scrabble. While we were playing Scrabble I put dinner in for Mom and the caregiver. Turkey breast, baked potatoes, and string beans. I left Mom's at four and went home and just relaxed.
On the agenda this week is more Mom's. Today I was there at 6:30 to help her get out of bed. I am going back today to fix lunch for her. Caregiver gets there early today. Early enough to fix the dinner so I will come home this afternoon and just chill out. Caregiver stays through noon on Monday. I will get to Mom's at two on Monday and be there Monday night, Tuesday, and Tuesday night. Sis gets back Wednesday. So I will leave Mom's early Wednesday morning and concentrate on things I need to get done the rest of the week.
Entertainment update. John Rich won the Celebrity Apprentice. I really wanted Matlin. I thought this is one time when Trump could have actually done something outside the box and declared Rich and Matlin as co-champs. On Dancing With The Stars my favorites Hines Ward and Kym Johnson won, Kirstie Alley & Max finished second, and Chelsie Kane & Mark finished third. The results show was on of the best ever on Dancing With The Stars. The highlight for me was Josh Groban singing while Petra danced a beautiful waltz. Top Chef Masters was off this week so no news there.
The blog is now yours. Comment on anything. Share anything. Say anything. Do anything. Tell me about you and your lives. I'm all ears.
About Me
- William J.
- First, I think the birth sign is wrong. 6-21, some papers say Gemini, some Cancer. Guess that means I have so many personalities that I can do group therapy alone. For those that don't know how to read Google profiles I have put what I really mean in ( ). Hot (Good looking enough to be in movies(if I buy at ticket). A body like a God (Buddha). Romantic (Thinks begging is foreplay.) Physically fit (Heart trouble. Put 911 on speed dial before we get initmate.) Good Provider (has good life insurance in case you forget to put 911 on speed dial.) Loyal (has reference letters from Mom and parole officer.) Intelligent (scored 1600 on his SATS but you have to total the scores of the four times that I took the test.) Looking for someone compatible (Be between 30 & 99 and not inflatable.)
6 comments:
I can't imagine what kind of jabs your mom might be inflicting on you. Seems to me she should be expressing only gratitude to you. But at least it sounds like you have a nice time with her when you go out to eat, maybe especially with other people. Perhaps it's good to decide not to be the lead caregiver for her, though I rather think you will continue to be, one way or another.
It's nice that she and Nancie were able to connect in a positive way. Want a little advice? Don't neglect keeping up contact with Nancie, even when you are busy with mom. Make time.
I didn't see the last DWTS, but I did hear that Hines had won. Don't care much. I was sorry that Marlee didn't win APPRENTICE, and I agree that they should have been co-winners. Sorry TOP CHEF MASTERS wasn't on. I guess they'll be starting a NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR pretty soon. I'll probably watch that.
I understand about the jabs. Been there, done that. Try to tell myself she doesn't really know how what she says or the way she says it hurts. On the rare days I didn't see her, we always talked at noon. Of course, you react - you're doing everything you can think of to help her, make her more comfortable, entertain her. At least, you have a good time when you go out to eat, it sounds like, and I'm sure good times together, but the jabs still hurt. Nowadays, I get mine via phone, as has always been the case with Bro. Deb can pretty much do no wrong, so I'm hoping their living together hasn't changed that. You've really had a busy week and another coming up.
I'm glad Nancie was able to get your mom some relief and you all enjoyed dinner. I'm with Pat - even though you're spending a lot of time with Mom while Sis is out of town, stay connected to Nancie. She's sounding like a keeper. (g)
My update is even more boring. Couldn't do much, with the ribs healing, but I think we're past the worst of that and much on the mend. Editorial work. I did go to the pool three days and just walked, without moving left arm. Weds was more paperwork with the re-fi, trip to the bank. Thursday found out WF had given Rich the wrong info, so back to bank Fri to redo what they needed to resubordinate the equity line. Took Skeet in for her distemper Thursday and she was a perfect puppy in the pouch my friend sent. Time getting Himself ready for his trip to his brother's ranch in OK. Worked yesterday. Spent today going through winter clothes, gathering items for donation, packing away the rest and unpacking summer clothes. Got about half those ironed. Daily play time with the puppies and we're now doing daily leash training. With Himself gone, I have a demanding baby and a very needy three yr old, who misses her dad and wants equal time from me. She now goes out on the leash, when Scamp is being trained. No matter what I do, I have two almost constant companions, the littlest one often wanting to "help." (wry g)They're cheap entertainment, one way and another.
Bill, how are the two Marks doing and your family members who are fighting cancer?
Dona, what's the word on the Shankster? Has he recovered from his earlier surgery? Isn't he scheduled for a couple other procedures in the next week or so?
Hi Pat
I love my Mom dearly but she is really hard to please. Just as an example. She will need soimething from the local pharmacy. I will get exactly what she asked for including brand name and price. When I get home it is "that's not what I wanted." 99% of the time I will bite my tongue and take what she wanted back and get what she wants now. There is that 1% where I just don't want to go back. The parking lot where the pharmacy is, is a zoo. Sometimes it takes twenty minutes just to drive around and find a parking spot. That 1% of the time I will just say, "that is just going to have to do. I'll go back in the morning or sis can go get it." For the next week every time I visit her no matter what the subject is the response is "that is why I wanted". I get up early, go over there to help her get out of bed and set out her breakfast. "Good morning, Mom." "That is why I wanted." I'll fix her lunch take it out to her "Do you want ketchup." "That is why I wanted."
Normally I take a deep breath and don't respond. But there are those times that I react with some unkind words.
We always do have a nice time out. She interacts with people really well.
Top Chef Masters returns this week. I sure hope Naomi wins it.
Enjoy the day!
Bill
Hi DR
The Mark that lost his wife is struggling with her loss and isn't doing really well taking care of himself. The other Mark has surgery June 6. Cousin Lavelle, the one that had two active cancers is doing good. The two cancers have stopped but they don't normally for those types of cancer call it remission for a certain period of time (two years?). Cousin Jack is still alive and doing well. He gets tired but is enjoying life. He has lived almost two years after they said he would.
I also try to tell myself Mom doesn't know what she says. And most of the time it works.
I almost think it is worst getting the jabs by phone. She can't see your reaction or how much it hurts. I imagine there is some stress between your Mom and Deb.
I hope your ribs are still healing. Actually I hope they have healed. That is such a bad part of the body to hurt because you can't do anything. I'm glad you were able to go to the pool. Boy the re-fi seems to be taking a long time. Sounds like the new puppy has really adjusted. I hope Himself has a great trip! What's ironing?
Bill
My mother cared for my grandfather in the last years of his life. I actually moved home for a little while, away from my crazy life stripping and whatever else in New Orleans, to help her. It was really hard for her, too. They sometimes fought, and he bitched about everything, and it really got under her skin. He has been gone for almost a year now, and I know she would give anything to hear him bitching at her again. Treasure even the tough stuff. Once it is gone...there is only silence in its place.
Hello Scarlet Player
Welcome to the blog and for the nice post. Your advise is right on and I plan to take it.
Bill
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