Sunday, August 5, 2012

Updates From Portland to LA to Texas.

Some updates. I had three friends named Mark that within in the last three years found out they had prostate cancer. Mark who also lost his wife. Mark the one that bought my practice. Mark the landscaper.

I haven't heard from the first two but I am going to call both tomorrow. I did hear from Mark the landscaper and his prostate cancer came back after being dormant for a while. He is also having trouble with some decisions he may have to make involving his Mom. She is aging fast and losing her mobility. She lives in the house next door to him. Her memory is dwindling and she has trouble getting around. He wants to get her help but she is fighting him tooth and nail, doesn't want help at the house (to expensive but she has plenty of money) doesn't want to move into assisted living (I am not ready for that when in reality she is) and so on. Mark the landscaper sure could use some prayers, good thoughts, and positive vibes.

I got an update from Kaye. Here is her email:

"We have had our appointment with Tarzan’s chemo oncologist. What they see in his last MRI is about what they expected to see. The cavity where the tumor was is getting smaller and there’s a gray area around that, much like the very first MRI showed in November. Just in case it’s more tumor growth is why they start the chemo treatment again. Instead of 150 mg of temador, he’ll be taking 300 mg, but only for 5 days a month instead of everyday – on for 5, off for 21. Then he sees the doc during that last week before he starts the 5 days of temador again for blood work. He will do this for 8 – 9 months. Then I guess another MRI to see how that area is doing. She’s also going to put him on 25mg of Zoloft. He has “blue days” where he just can’t get motivated to do anything or even get out of the house. We (doc & I) think this will improve once I’m retired because Tarzan does better when WE do things on the weekends. He just seems kinda lost when I’m not here. So, that’s our update. For our first retirement trip, we’re planning a trip to Louisiana to visit his daughter’s family as their 3rd son turns 1 on 9/15. Depending on how that all works out, we may swing by Hot Springs to visit a cousin of mine where we took Mother & Dads ashes last year. Hope all are doing well… and thanks again for all the prayers and support. I can’t tell you how much those mean to me.
And a special thanks to you, Bill. What a special friend you are.



I was really appreciative of the last sentence in Kaye's email because I've been feeling like a selfish doofus lately. Remember my cousin Lavelle? She is the one that originally had two active cancers and now has three. This is her picture taken when she was in her sixties. Beautiful woman. We have a close connection because her and I were the only two in a long line of relatives. My mom heard from her the other day. She is hanging in there but there was a part in there about me not contacting her for a while and she wondered what was up with me. I've really been a bad cousin, it is just that with Mom, work, two houses to take care of, my own health issues, doctors appointments for me, for mom, caregiver's vacations and illnesses, and so may excuses I just didn't make the time to contact her. Friday I sat down and wrote a nice letter and made up a care package including some great smelling soap and some Moonstruck chocolate. I am really going to make a better effort at being a good cousin and friends. Starts tomorrow with me calling the Marks.

Good thoughts, positive prayers and vibes sent cousin Lavelle's way would be appreciated. You could send a few my way that I make my goal weight by my next doctor's appointment and that I become both a better cousin and relative.

My update. Next week two nights (Tuesday & Wednesday) and three days (Tuesday through Thursday) at Mom's. Today is watching the Olympics, the Dodgers, and fixing lunch for Mom and dinner for the Mom and the caregiver. Monday is the car washed, clothes to the drive cleaner, my corporate tax return, some emails about the annual football party, and a few phone calls (the two Marks, the foot doctor, a client and Ted about Mom's lawsuit.) Friday is a me day and The Bourne Legacy. I still have enough chips on the movie gift card that a client gave me to make it a free event.

Last week: Sunday was at Mom's. Monday lawn mowing and watering, football stuff, reading, and being a normal dude. Tuesday was a terrible movie, THE WATCH, watching the Olympics, and having coffee with a Facbook friend that recently moved here from Minnesota. Wednesday and Thursday were at Mom's. Friday and Saturday were me days which included watering and mowing, grocery shopping, office equipment shopping (new mouse, new landline phone purchased and a new cell phone and new laptop are on the horizon), and to do list navigating.

That is it for me. Now let's hear it from you. I want to know about your lives. The blog is now yours. Post anything you damn will please.


Mary said...

You a selfish doofus? Snort. You're one of the kindest, most generous people I know. There's a difference between being selfish and giving so much of yourself to other people that someone got overlooked. Please give yourself credit for being the wonderful, caring person you are.

Pat said...

Good wishes to Mark the Landscaper for good health and for working things out for his mom. That latter one seems to hit us all if everyone concerned lives long enough. It seems to always take time for the person in question to come to terms with the fact that they can no longer live as they always have in the past. So a lot of patience is required of the caregiver. And a lot of research, too.

And more good vibes to Kaye and cousin LaVelle. Also for you to hit your goal weight in good time for your appointment. I don't see how you could be much better as a relative, so you only get a tiny vibe for that. Mary said it well.

Lady DR said...

Prayers headed to Mark, both for the cancer and for dealing with the issues with his mom. Hard stuff to deal with.

Thanks for including the update from Kaye.
Kaye - thoughts and prayers continue heading your direction. Sounds like a long road ahead, but also like they have a plan. I suspect you're right about him having better days, after you retire and the two of you can spend more time together. (Hugs!)

Bill, as always you're going in a dozen different directions and there's no point in beating yourself up over what you're not doing, given all that you *are* doing for so many. The care package for Lavelle sounds really nice. I've been keeping her in my prayers. You are NOT a bad cousin.

You're upcoming week sounds as busy as last week, but I am glad to see a "me" day in there every once in a while.

Coasting. Himself had the MRIs on his shoulder and he has a slight tear in the tendon across the top of the shoulder, which they hope to correct/heal with twice weekly physical therapy, so that's a relief. I did the pool four days. No line dance. Saw the chiro on Wednesday and massage therapist on Thursday. The rest of the week was picking away at the book, jumping through hoops to (hopefully) get permission from ACS to use what I've written about their services in the resources section, researching other resources. Spent Thursday afternoon visiting Nancy at the hospital and taking her some books on tape and "real" books. Thank goodness, the bowel obstruction was resolved without surgery and she's home.

Delivered a bunch of stuff to CareWear, including "pocket whimsies" I made from jeans pockets. The gal went nuts over them - little stuffed critters tucked into decorated jeans pockets that can hang from a doorknob, bed pole or IV stand, especially in the children's cancer section. She said she could use a hundred of them. Uh... I took the basic idea to the knitting group yesterday and suggested we make knitted or crocheted pockets, which can be decorated and hold the little critters. Several expressed interest, so it'll be interesting to see if they come back with anything next week. I started experimenting today. Life's pretty placid around here at the moment and that's just fine with me!

William J. said...

Hi Mary

Thank you for the really nice message but really there were times when I could have written Lavelle and just didn't do it. I guess I did kind of overlook her. Thanks again for the nice comment.


William J. said...

Hi Pat

Mark will appreciate the good wishes for both the cancer and his mom. Kaye and Lavelle also definitely appreciate your vibes as well as I do. I am going to make the next weight if it kills me!

And thanks for the nice comment!


William J. said...


Mark, Lavelle, Kaye, and I thank you for the prayers they are all needed and appreciated.

Thanks for your comment about not beating myself up and I will follow your advise. I just don't want to hurt someone as lovely as and I care about as much as Lavelle.

The me days keep me sane!

Nice to see you coasting for a change.

Sorry to hear about the tear in Himself's shoulder and I will send prayers and good thoughts his way and that the physical therapy works. Wow you idea of coast is amazing, it sounds more like being busy to me with doctors' appointments, work, and your book. And what a great friend you are to visit Nancy and take her some books. I am glad she is home.

I would go nuts over anything you made. I still have the God box you made me. What a great idea for you knitting group!

Glad things are quiet!