There are many that would say I am beyond help but today I thought I would beg for your help on two sensitive issues.
First up is a sensitive issue with my mom.
I take my mom out for lunch or dinner quite a bit. Usually we can make it home within the bladder time limit. Once in a while we can't and presents a situation I am not comfortable with. Mom can't get to the bathroom on her own. Once she gets to the bathroom and in the stall she can do everything herself. She just can't get the wheelchair there on her own. Oregon and California both have laws that allow cross sex caregivers to take their patient to a restaurant. But in this case I don't care what the law says, I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I will say as soon as I get mom to where ever we decide to take, I am out of the room and standing next to the door waiting for her to yell that she is through. So what do I do?
1. Take Mom to the men's room, then stand guard at the door? This would make mom uncomfortable.
2. Take her to the women's room and knock on the door wait and if I don't hear anything push her in and
get the hell out there as fast as I can and wait for the OK signal from Mom. But what if someone is in
there and doesn't answer? Or what if someone goes in there while mom is in there and I am waiting for
her OK I'm ready call? This is the one that makes me the most uncomfortable because I don't want to
cause strangers to be uneasy.
3. Ask for assistance from a restaurant employee? How would you feel if you were working at a restaurant
and someone asked you to help with their Mom?
4. Survey the restaurant and look for one of those nice women folk that just has that kind and helpful look
about her and ask for her help? That puts mom in the hands of strangers. And how would feel if a
stranger begged for help?
The last time I did the combination of two and four. I got her there, got the hell out of there, waited in the hall and when a woman came along asked if she would check on mom. Turned out to be a nice woman that was very glad to help and bring mom out to me. Suggestions please?
Next up is a sensitive issue with a long lost friend.
You are all aware of the accident I had when I was young and the impact it had on my life. A great thing about a small town is when there is a trauma the community pulls together and helps out. It took a village to get me through that accident. I owe them my legs. Thank you Klamath Falls, Oregon. So many people to thank and remember . The Yell Squad visited me in the hospital. Beautiful young women all of them. Larry who was in the car when the accident occurred kept in touch. My dad's coffee club kept dad grounded and supported, Larry's dad Loren, Sherm Ackerman, Harold Howard and the rest of the crew. The year I cam home from the hospital I was given the number one season ticket to the legion team, The Falcons, and a standing ovation when I finally was able to go to the game. I remember and will always remember every act of kindness paid to me during that time. Way to many to mention all of them here.
Did I tell you the story of Dr. Fellers? Dr. Fellers was the Dean of Student Affairs at Southern Oregon College at the time of the accident. He found my parents a place to stay while I was in the hospital and several days a week would make the trek from Ashland to Medford to visit me. Forward ahead over twenty years. I was thinking about him one day and thought I should find him and thank him. Didn't know where he was. Every January my brother and I would fly to Las Vegas to bet on and watch the NFL playoffs. This particular year was a couple of weeks after I was thinking about Dr. Fellers. The flight was full and we had to fight for seats. Brother and I ended up sitting apart on the plane. I was put next to a very nice lady that turned out to be Dr. Fellers' daughter. I found out Dr. Fellers was living in the same city as my parents, about five miles where I lived. I got his phone number, called him and thanked him. I was surprised he remembered me. He was grateful that I took the time to call. He then became my client and I did his tax return for the next several years until he passed on.
You all know the story of my recent connect with childhood friend, Dave Taylor. He would drive the eighty miles on a weekly visit me in the hospital. When I got home from the hospital he was one of two friends my age that would come get me load the wheelchair in the car and take me for rides. Thanks to a bizarre set of circumstances and amazing fate I ran into Dave a couple of months ago. I was able to tell him how much he meant to me during that time. He was stunned that I remembered and pleased he had a role in my recovery.
Now thanks to Facebook friend, Suzanne, I have the address of the other person that used to come, load the wheelchair in the car and take me for rides. She is the girl in the picture at the end of today's entry. You know her story from previous blog entries. She was in the hospital the same time as I was. We had the same doctor who thought we could help each other and introduced us. We helped each other recover and became good friends. It was never romantic, she was engaged at the time, I was paralyzed, it was just two people making time go fast. Making pain go away. I would like to send her a letter thanking her for her part in my recovery. However, she is married. I know how I would feel if another man contacted my wife. It would tick me off for a bit but most likely I'd get over it. My dilemma, should I contact her or let well enough alone?
There is what I need help with. Mom's bathroom issues. Should I contact Susan?
You input is very much appreciated.